Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Good Advice from a Dog.

Post 315 - - - - - - Tuesday, 18th September, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is going well for you wherever you may
be. All OK here - shopping completed and put away in fridge,
freezer or cupboards. I wrote my list about 1:30 am, and today it
was not eas
y to read it, but I think we have the essentials.
The only thing I forgot today was my walking stick !!! However
I managed with the help of my carer lady lending an arm to get
me where we wanted to go. I won't forget it again for awhile.



The picture tonight was on a Christmas card, years ago, and I had
it on my desk top for a long time. I love trees and a stream.

Tonight I have an article sent to me by my friend Robyn . Thanks Robyn.

If a dog was the teacher, you would learn stuff like :

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to
be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others
know when they have invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt
thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you've had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and
nuzzle them gently.
<><><>

Time for a few jokes - - - -

A newly wed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who
immediately demanded an inspection of the place.

The farmer genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law
hoping it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship.

To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding
changes, offering unwanted advice, and making life unbearable for
the farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule
suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head,
killing her instantly.

At the funeral a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and
greeted folks as they walked by.

The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something
to the farmer, he would nod his head and say something.

Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however,
he would shake his head and mumble a reply.

Very curious about this bizzare behavior, the pastor later asked the
farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy'
and I would nod my head and say 'Yes, it was.' "

The men would ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake
my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year !!' "
<><>

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of
his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a
truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the
driver's side. The counsellor immediately grabbed his mobile phone
and dialled
000 and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer
started screaming hysterically. His Lexus which he had picked up
the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the
same, no matter, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving,
the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are
so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing ?" askd the lawyer.

The cop replied, " Don't you know that your left arm is missing from
the elbow down ? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex ?"
<><>

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident.
So when they reach the Pearly Gates, St Peter tells them that
unfortunately, heaven is over-crowded, so they each have to answer
a question corretly for admission.

The teacher is first, and St Peter asks, " Name the famous ship that
was sunk by an iceberg ?"
"Phew, that one's easy," says the teacher. "The Titanic."

"Alright," said St Peter, "you may pass."
Then the thief got his question, "How many died on the Titanic ?"
The thief replied, "That's a toughy but fortunately I just saw the
movie. The answer is 1500 people." And he passed through.

Last St Peter gave the lawyer his question, "Name them !!"
<><>

A man comes home with his lettle daughter, whom he had taken
to work for the day. The little girl asks, " I saw you in your office
with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains. " Well, honey,
my secretary is a very hard working girl. She types like you wouldn't
believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," said the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her
eyes when you lay her down on the couch."
<><>

A couple returned from their honeymoon, and it it's obvious that
they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him
aside and asks ehat is wrong.

"Well, " replied the man, "When we had finished making love on
the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill
on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much.," said his friend,
"I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect
you to have been saving yourself all these years."

The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over
this though, She gave me $20 change !!"
<><>

A few quotes to close with - - - -

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. - -Kathy Norris.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around
until you get used to it. - - Charlie Schulz.

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.
- - -Arthur Miller.

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint
on t you can. - - - Danny Kaye.

I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's
full. Scratch where it itches. - -Alice Roosevelt Longworth.

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.
- - - - Grandma Moses.

Time to stop for the night. Look after each other and
enjoy the rest of the week. Have some fun and be happy.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 315 - - - - - Tuesday, 18th September, 2007.
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13 comments:

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle, Sorry i missed a couple of your posts I will blog soon. My computer has crashed and I will take it to Bundoora friday and will leave till fixed.
How true we can learn from a dog , great jokes.hahaha the honeymoon..
ohh I love your Wisteria I hope its still in bloom when we visit. Take care dear Merle see you soon. love Jan.

T*mmy said...

Hey Miz Merle...On the grocery shopping I just hate do that each week it is such a chore...here we have to bag it ourselves at Walmart and I call it my Walmart work-out...lol!

I loved the "mule" joke and the "doll" joke...very funny!!

Have a great day!
:)

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Had to read more than one post tonight. Loved the Wisteria. As usual you made me smile and lol at the little girls reply to the Vicar.
Makin a grocery list at 1:30 am. I hope that was a type o. It is a RARE RARE occasion for me to be awake at that wee hour of the morning.

PEA said...

Hi Merle:-) What were you doing up at 1:30 a.m., pray tell??? lol You're getting as bad as me! hehe Actually these days I'm going to bed around midnight so that's a more decent hour for me! Like you, I just love streams with trees on each side of it!!

That mule joke just cracked me up, that was too funny! You always have such great jokes and quotes...often makes me wonder who thinks up of all of these, certainly people with great senses of humour:-)

Take care dear friend! xoxo

mreddie said...

Sometimes I have trouble reading my writing when it gets cold - it is a good feeling when the shopping is done and the food is stowed. I share your love of trees and streams. ec

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Merle, I couldn’t go out without a walking stick! Of course, I have about a dozen of them by my front door.

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

I love trees and streams too.
Both of us are nature persons =)

Margaret said...

Dear Merle, was unable to comment at first after several tries I have succeeded Yeah.
Thanks for visiting, I have enjoyed reading your post very much I have so missed being able to blog.
Love Margaret

Kerri said...

Dogs sure are smart :) I Like this one a lot Merle. I enjoyed your mule joke too, and had lots of chuckles catching up with your last several posts. The Social Worker story is a good one.
Your Wisteria is beautiful! I've always loved its wonderful scent.
It's good to see the ghost gums. I miss those lovely trees.
I hope you have a wonderful day Merle!

HORIZON said...

Just goes to show you how much we could learn from our k9 friends ;)
Glad you got all your shopping done Merle- is always a good feeling to fill up the fridge and cupboards. l am finding that we're already saving money on the messages as the older two are now away.
Nice postcard pic too- there are some pictures that you find relaxing and that is one for me.
bests and hugs dear friend x

deborah wilson said...

Yes, I too think people could learn alot from animals. I keep pointing out that animals are in many ways much smarter than humans. Plus, they love unconditionally and are devoted for life. The wisteria is beautiful! Have a good day, Dear Merle. :)

Michele L. Tune said...

Once again you have a most wonderful post, Merle! This is why I've added you to my "Fun & Interesting Links" list on my own blog.

Can't wait to read your next post, keep up the great work!

Smiles,
Michele

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I loved the Christmas Card art. Very pretty! ~ And the quote; "In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular." by Kathy Norris. CLASSIC! ~ jb///