Sunday, October 28, 2007

Dirty Dishes.

Post 350 ~ ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 28th October, 2007.

Hello My Friends ~~ My weekend is on its last legs
but many of you have another day to enjoy. I hope
you are all keeping well and your lives going how you
want them to go. I am fine, and my tomatoes that
Kathy planted look great ~ all standing to attention.

We have had awful wind here again today; maybe
it is trying to blow up some more rain. I do not like
wind, but if it does blow up rain ~ I may change my
opinion of it. I planted a few cuttings that Helen, my
neighbor, gave me. So hope they will grow for me.

I was quite surprised to learn that my brother Peter
was in Perth for his eldest son's 50th birthday party.
I hope Alan had a great party and has a good day on
Tuesday, the 30th October, his actual birthday.

A photo of Kathy and 4 of her 5 kids.

left to right ~ Kathy, Jorja in front, Kristen, Kate and Nick.
My s-i-l went out to start up the car, so missed out.
I am only taller than Jorja who is nine. Kate is very tall
and will be 20 next month. She lives in Geelong.

Tonight I have a little ditty called "Dirty Dishes."

Thank God for dirty dishes . . .

They have a story to tell :

And by the stack I have, it seems that

We are living very well.

And whilst people of other countries starve

I haven't the heart to fuss . . . .

For by this stack of evidence,

God's awfully good to us !!

Another little one called "My Face."

As a beauty, I'm not a star,

There are others more handsome, by far,

But my face, I don't mind it . . . . .

The people in front get the jar !!

Last night as I lay sleeping
I died or so it seems
Then I went to Heaven
But t'was only in my dreams.

But, it seems St Peter met me
There at the pearly gate
He said, "I must check your record
So stand right here and wait.

I see where you drank whiskey
And used tobacco, too
Fact is you've done everything
That a good person should not do.

We can't have people like you up here
Your life was full of sin.
Then he read the last of my record
Grasped my hand and said , "Come in."

He took me to the Big Boss
Said, "Take him in and treat him well
He worked for a Telecommunications company, sir
He's already had his share of hell."

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat on tightly so it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam,
I do not intend too be forward, but did you know your dress
is blowing up in this high wind."

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold on to
this hat.""But madam, you must know that your privates are
exposed," said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,
" Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I bought
this hat yesterday !!"

A blonde suspect her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly
and when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a
redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief. She takes out the gun and puts it to
her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it !!
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next !!"

Today some French scientists announced that they have cloned
a rat. Thank God. This will solve that big rat shortage.

A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead
dinosaur with a pygmy standing beside it. Amazed, he
, "Did you kill that ?"

The pygmy said, "Yes."
The hunter asked, "How could a little fella like you
kill a huge beast like that ?"
Said the pygmy, " I killed it with my club."

The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club ?"
The pygmy replied, "There's about 90 of us."

An Aberdonian goes to the dentist and asks how much
it is for an extraction.
" $85 for an extraction, sir," was the dentist's reply.

"Och, have ye not got anything cheaper?" says the Scot
getting agitated.
"But, that's the normal charge for an extraction, sir."
"What about if ye don't use any anesthetic?" he asks
"Well, it's highly unusual sir, but if that's what you want,
I suppose I can do it for $70." says the dentist.

Hmmm, what aboot if you used one of the dentist trainees
and still without anesthetic ?" said the Aberdonian.
"Well, it's possible but they are only training and I can't
guarantee their level of professiona;ism and it will be a
lot more painful, but I suppose in that case we can bring
the price down to say $40," said the dentist.

"Och, that's still a bit much. How aboot if you make it a
training session and have a student do the extraction
and the other students watchin' and learnin'."
"Hmmmmn, well OK, it'll be good for the students I
suppose. I'll only charge you $5 in that case."

"Wonderful, it's a deal, " said the Aberdonian . . . "Can
ye book the wife in for next Tuesday ?"

Just a few quotes to conclude tonight's little effort.

Autumn's bounty is a feast for the eyes as well as the plate.

Eat an apple on going to bed, and you'll keep the doctor
from earning his bread. ~ ~ ~ English proverb.

The days shorten, granting the stars more time to shine.

May you always walk with the morning star to guide you,
the summer sun on your back, and an angel by your side.

Bye for now folks, enjoy the rest of your lives and do
something nice for someone. You will feel better
yourself. Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 350 ~ ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 28th Otober, 2007.


Gledwood said...

Hi Merle I hope you do get some rain... it must be very hard living in a country that gets so dry! Do you get annual summer hosepipe bans? We used to EVERY YEAR here in London... then we found out there is no electricity-style "national grid" for water. If there were, London would never be in supposed "drought" as they try to claim it is... they get enough rain up north probably for 3 Britains!

I just had a look at the world map with my hits pinpointed on it.... a great cluster across North America, then Europe... then trailing out across the middle East thru India... the Far East then down to Australia and a big red dot "last hit" that must be YOU down in Melbourne...

I can't quite explain why, but I looked at that map and felt so inspired!

Christina said...

HI Merle,

Good post as always. I enjoyed your jokes.


Raggedy said...

G'day Merle,
I enjoyed your post.
I hope you get some rain and your wind settles down.
I knew you didn't celebrate the holiday but I couldn't resist sending the
Huggles and Love you!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Ah! Dirty dishes. I am so glad that they no longer literally build up since I have gotten a housekeeper!

Have a wonderful week, Merle.

Margaret said...

Dear Merle I have really enjoyed reading your post yet again. Loved the photos as well.
Cheers Margaret

audrey` said...

Beautiful pic =)