Thursday, November 01, 2007

Signs of Getting Old.

Post 354 ~ ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 1st November, 2007.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope you all had a very Happy Halloween
with lots of fun and treats for all. We do not celebrate it here,
although there are signs around that we may in future. I even
bought some extra sweets ~ just in case !! Now I am stuck with
all these extra sweets. What a darn shame !!! Whatever will I
do with them ??

Thank you to those who wished me Happy Halloween, and for
your comments about the last story. My friend Gledwood left
a really good comment ~~ "Did you know that angel means
messenger, so God's angels may well appear from time to time
in human form." Thanks for that, Gleds.

John had another skin cancer surgically removed today, and is
OK. He has another appointment next Thursday, so I hope that
will be the end of it for a while.

Our second Computer class was cancelled, due to the teacher
having the flu. Hope he is better for next week, for his sake,
and for his students. All six of us !!!

Tonight's first item is a poem "Signs of Getting Old.

My forgetter's getting better.
But my memory is broke,
To you that may sound funny,
But, to me, that is no joke.

For when I'm here, I'm wondering,
If I should be there,
And when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer.

Oft times I walk into a room,
And say, 'what am I here for ?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain,
A zero is my score.

At times I put something away,
Where it is safe, but gee,
The person it is safest from,
Is generally me.

When shopping I may see someone,
Say 'Hi' and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "Who was that ?"

Yes my forgettter's getting better,
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me crazy,
And that isn't any joke.
<><><>

Joke time, although that was not too serious !! Was it ?

An aircraft was about to crash; there were five
passengers on board but only four parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA
basketball player, the Lakers need me. I can't afford to die. . ."
So he took the first pack and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hilary Clinton, said, "I am the wife
of the former President of the United States, I am the most
ambitious woman in the world, I am also a New York
Senator and a potential future President." She just took the
second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Howard, said. "I am the Prime
Minister of Australia, I have a great responsibility being the
leader of a great nation. And above all I'm the most intelligent
Prime Minister in Australia's history, so Australia's people
won't let me die." So he put on the pack next to him and
jumped out of the plane.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger,
a 10 year old school boy, "I am old and frail and I don't have
many years left, as a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let
you have the last parachute."

The boy said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you.
Australia's most intelligent Prime Minister has taken my
school backpack."
<><>

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said,
"It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with
plush bucket theatre seats. It worked like a charm. Now
the front of the church fills first."

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued,
"And you told me a little more beat to the music would
bring young people back to the church, so I supported
you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir.
We are packed to the balcony."

"Thank you. Father," answered the young priest. "I am
pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"Well, " said the elderly priest, "I'm afraid you've gone
too far with the drive through confessional."

"But Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions
have nearly doubled since I began that."

"I know, son," replied the elderly priest, but that flashing
sign, "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell" can't stay on the church
roof."
<><>

An elderly woman from Melbourne decided to prepare her
will and makes her final requests. She told her lawyer she
had two final requests.

First she wanted to be cremated, and second she wanted
her ashes scattered all over Myer's Department store.

"Why Myers," the lawyer exclaimed.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
<><><> Myers is a huge store in Melbourne.<><>



A 97 year old man goes to his doctor's office and says, "Doc,
I want my sex drive lowered."

"Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97. Don't you think your
sex drive is all in your head ?"

"You're damned right it is." replied the old man, "That;s
why I want it lowered !"
<><>

A fifteen year old boy came home with a Porsche and his
parents began to scream, "Where did you get that car ?"
He calmly told them he had bought it that day.
"With what money ?" demanded his parents. "We know
what a Porsche costs."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars.
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would
sell a car like that for fifteen dollars ?" they said.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy."I don't
know her name ~ they just moved in. She saw me
riding my bike and asked me of I wanted to buy a Porsche
for fifteen dollars.

"Dear God," moaned the mother, "she must be a child
abuser. Who knows what she will do next ? John, you go
right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street where the lady lived
and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He
introduced himself as the boy's father and demanded to know
just why she had sold his son a Porsche for fifteen dollars.

"Well, " she said, " this morning I got a phone call from my
husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but it seems
he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn't intend
to come back. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send
him the money. So I did !!"
<><><>

Just a few quotes before I close for the night - - -

A teacher affects eternity' he can never tell where
his influence stops. ~ ~ Henry Brooks Adams.

Music, the greatest good that mortals know! !
~ ~ ~ Joseph Addison.

But it's a long, long while
From May to December;
and the days grow short
When you reach September. ~ ~ Maxwell Anderson.

Death is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. ~ Anon.

O, ye take the high road, and I'll take the low road,
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye,
But me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond. ~ Anon.

That is it for tonight, my friends. I hope the week is
going well for you. Can you believe it's November ??
Take care of yourselves and each other. Spread some
smiles around. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 354 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 1st November, 2007.
<><><>




22 comments:

Lady Di Tn said...

LOL "THE PERSON IT IS SAFEST FROM, IS GENERALLY ME.

That my dear is a home run poem for all of over 50 and even some of the young folks.

Just read that corn and tomato are brain food. I guess I need to eat more corn and tomato.

Thanks for starting out this with a smile for me .

Peace

UKBob said...

Hey Merle, you have a real problem on your hands with those left over sweets, can't imagine what you can do with them! Halloween has come on big here over the years, I remember a time when no one bothered about it. Bob.

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Merle,

If you were closer, I'd ask you to share those sweets. lol. I think they would be too expensive to send by post, so enjoy. :-)

Signs of Getting Older is much too scary for me! I have too many of those signs.

Toot and Tell or Go To Hell was funny. lol.

So was story about the Porsche. Well, they were all funny.

Love September song. I always leave here cheered up. Thank you, Merle.

Warmest regards,

Renie

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

My prayers continue to be for John. I, too, pray that this is the end.

It seems that computer class may go one for a long time without ever meeting.

Truthfully, I need to signs of getting old; I feel my own.

Susie said...

Hello dear Merle,
My new computer and I have been getting acquainted, so I haven't had lots of time for visiting.
I don't think I remembered that you didn't celebrate Halloween there. We didn't have many trick or treaters this year at our daughters.
Loved the drive through confessional joke. My daughter will get a laugh from it as well.
xo

Mary said...

I'm glad the surgery went well. I enjoyed all the jokes, especially the one about the priest. Thanks for brightening my evening.

Blessings,
mary

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. Oh I do love the $15 Porsche...how beautiful!

Poor John. I hope he gets rid of all his skin cancers, but they're pretty sore afterwards, aren't they?

Had lunch with Peter yesterday...four hours long, that's how much we talked! It was lovely to catch up.

Hugs xoxo

ChrisB said...

Hello Merle I have given you an award for keeping Embee happy :)

Raggedy said...

G'day Merle,
Another good post for you!
I hope John is done with the skin treatments. I am glad he is taking care of it though...
I hope your computer teacher gets well soon..flu be gone...shoo...
Take care sweetie.
Huggles and Love you!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huggles
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

pssst....you eat those treats when you have one of those sweet cravings...tee hee You can drop some in your friends pockets too.. when they are not looking :)

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle, Hope John healing well after more skin cancers removed ,good jokes the priest got my vote tonight,,, pleased you liked my post on Weary...Take care see you soon, love Jan

Mary said...

Merle,

Thank you for your kind words about me being a cervical cancer survivor. I'm glad that you beat breast cancer. My aunt is also a breast cancer survivor. She is the first in our family to have it.

Thanks so much for leaving such nice comments on my blog. I always enjoy your visits. I wish you many blessings.

Mary said...

PS I've added an update to my blog. The baby girl was returned to her mother last night. She is safe and healthy.

Hootin'Anni said...

*giggles* Oh Merle....Merle, I always have to laugh [which is good for me] when I come here. The Porche, the Toot & Tell, the sex drive....all so, so funny.

Now what's this about your son's cancer? Golly, I do hope he's okay!!!!

UKBob said...

Hi Merle, I didn't realise you suffer from diabetes, I guess the sweets are a bit of a problem then. I think I'm just going to have to move over there, I reckon I could do a good job of your garden for some of your home cooking and a few sweets!! Yes the night in the bar was good, re-writing that story brings back loads of good memories. Bob.

T*mmy said...

I gave all my "extra" candy to the grandkids...lol...I was so "bad" while it was in the house that I was desperate!

Have a great day Miz Merle!
=)

Gledwood said...

When you say you "do not celebrate it here" are you talking about your family's thing or do you mean Halloween isn't much of an Aussie thing?

It's not such a big thing here as in America.

In the suburbs all the kids used to go trick or treating when I was little. It was an excuse to put eggs through people's letter boxes etc...

They don't DARE trick or treat here! They're far too scared of who might open the front door hahaha;->...!!!

Of course over here Bonfire Night November 5th is the big festival... aparently it's the ancient Pagan Festival of Lights... quite possibly with roots in common with the Hindu Divali!

(Of course we have quite a lot of Hindus in this country... sometimes, when the 2 festivals coincide, Mother Hubbard calls it Doolally! We get fireworks fireworks fireworks every night for over 2 weeks... fantastic!!!)

Gledwood said...

Hey I was just looking at my Day/Night world map:

http://www.sitemeter.com/?a=stats&s=s30gledcounter2&r=79&d=112&v=100&pg=1&md=2

and realized it is 8pm here but light by you already!!

Gledwood said...

Did you hear the story about the doberman and the king brown and the 17month old little girl?

I posted it up on my blog, but I'm sure it's been all over the Aussie press...

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Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Too bad about all that candy, but I guess you'll find away to get rid of it;)

I hope John's alright.

I thought that Death was a way to make you come to a "dead" stop, not to slow you down?

Take care,
Janice~

Connie said...

Love the one about the "Drive through Confessional" I had to pass that one on to my brother.
Thanks for making me laugh once again.
Always love visiting you.
Hope you are doing well.

Hugs,
Connie

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

You're an angel in our lives =)
God bless you.
(((HUGS)))