Sunday, December 16, 2007

Let's Dance.

Post 382 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 16th December, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is well with you and you are all
enjoying the weekend. Nearly over for us, but has been a
very pleasant couple of days, cooler and with a little rain.

For any Australians who would like to see an hour movie
"All About Olive" about our 108 year old blogger, it will
be shown on Tuesday, 18th, on the ABC television at 12.30,
just after lunch. I am looking forward to seeing and taping it.

Another nice little item from my friend Gwen I have called
it "Let's Dance." Thanks Gwen.

Every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness

you'll never get back. . . .

Today's message of the Day is :

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly,

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret

anything that made you smile.

Send to all the people you love and don't want to lose.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while

we're here we should dance !!!

Joke time folks ~ ~ ~

Many years ago, in a remote part of Ireland there lived an old
Irishman and his wife. One day the old man heard there was
to be a fair in a nearby village, so he set off early in the
morning to attend. Now, strange as it may seem, he had never
seen a mirror before and when they were on sale at one of the
stalls he bought one.

When he arrived back he sat by the fire and every now and then
he took out the mirror from his pocket and glanced at it, but
hurriedly pot it away when his wife asked him what he was l
ooking at. "Never you mind, woman.:

Well she was curious, so after her husband was asleep in bed,
she searched his clothes and found the mirror. She looked at it
long and earnestly, then said, "As I thought, another woman."

A father who had one leg shorter than the other and thus walked
with a limp, had a son who stuttered.

One day the son said, "D-d-dad, I've g-g-got a go-good idea. Why
don't you w-w-w-alk with one f-f-foot in the gutter? Then yo-our
limp wo-wouldn't be noticed."
"Good idea, son," said his father, "I'll try it." So he did and was
knocked down by a car.

The son visited him in hospital. "So s-sorry about y-your accident,
D-dad," he said.

"That;s all right," said the father, " but while I've been here I've
been thinking and I've got an idea about your stutter."
"What's that, D-dad?" asked the son.
"Keep your blinking mouth shut." came the reply.

A band was playing in the street and one of their number was
collecting. Approaching one house, he opened the gate, walked
up the path and knocked. The door was opened by an old lady
to whom he said, "We're the Accrington Stanley and District
Prize Band and we're collecting."

"Eh ?" she said.
So he repeated, "We're the Accrington Stanley and District
Prize Band and we're collecting."
"It's no use," she said, "I can't hear a word you're saying."

Thereupon the man turned on his heel, saying under his
breath, "To hell with you."
Quick as a flash she replied, "And to hell with the Accrington
Stanley and District Prize Band."

Some Questions ~ ~ ~

Now, how much would you like to donate to the Indian
Relief fund Mrs. Custer?

Q. What do you think about bathing beauties?
A. I don't know ~ I've never bathed any.

Q. Do you write with your left hand or right hand?
A. Neither. ~ I write with a ball-point pen.

What goes "tick, tick, woof? A watch dog.

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks ?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too noisy.

Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

Who was Joan of Arc ? Noah's wife.

Is a budget a baby budgerigar ?

Is a drunken ghost a methylated spirit?

Two clergymen were talking and one said, "Do you know, I dread
having to preach a long sermon,, for one or two of my congregation
have the habit of looking at their watches. One cannot help noticing,
and it puts me off."

The other rep;ied, " Oh, I never mind if they look at their watches.
It's when they put them to their ears as though they had stopped,
that I find discouraging."

A young man was loudly lamenting to everyone in the bar
that his doctor had ordered him to give up half his sex life.

"Which half are you going to give up?" asked a bored
listener. "Talking about it or thinking about it?"

The shy English girl on her first visit to Scotland, nervously
went up to a handsome young Scot who was wearing his national
costume and asked, "Excuse me speaking to a stranger, but I have
always been curious. Please can you tell me what is worn under
the kilt ?"
The Scotsman smiled and said, "Nothing is worn, everything is in
excellent condition.

I went into a bakery and said, "How much for two pies?"
The girl behimd the counter said, " 90 pence."
I said, "How much for one?"
She said, "60 pence."
I said, " I'll have the other one."

The teacher asked a class to write a brief account of a cricket match.
Soon all the children were very engrossed except for one boy who
finished his essay in record time.

When the teacher saw it, he understood. It read : Rain stopped play.

A few quotes to finish with ~ ~ ~

Somehow, not only for Christmas
But all the long year through
The joy that you give to others
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart' possessing
Returns to you glad. ~ ~ John Greenleaf Whittier.

Journalism is unreadable, and literature is unread. ~ Oscar Wilde.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as you please.
~ ~ ~ Mark Twain.

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, others judge
us by what we have done. ~ ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

A kind heart is the foundation of gladness making everything in its
vicinity freshen into smiles. ~ ~ ~ Washington Irving.

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon
it will be too late. ~ ~ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Well my friends, time to finish this post. Look after yourselves
and each other. may the joy of the Christmas season stay in
your hearts all year long. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 382 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 16th December, 2007.


Renie Burghardt said...

Hi, dear Merle,

It is early Sunday morning in my area of the world, and it is cold and blustery. But we didn't get a bunch of snow, thank goodness.

Lets Dance is wonderful!

Cute jokes, and I especially liked the one about the girl and the Scot. Heehee. Love the quote by John Greenleaf Whittier, and have copied and pasted that one. I hope you're having a lovely Monday. Christmas is almost here!

Love and blessings,


Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

"Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly." ~ Robert Doisneau

Patty said...

Dear Merle,
Ha!Ha!, had to laugh outloud when I was reading the question section, you see my maiden name was Custer, distant relative of General George Custer, who didn't seem to bright, but then again perhaps he was just young and thought he was invincable. And now my last name is Lincoln. So I found it rather funny. Thanks for giving me a chuckle on this cold day, it was 35 F when I got up, now it's dropped to 25F, wind is blowing hard, and more snow is coming down. Thank goodness we don't have to go out, we did go out long enough to clear the driveway and sidewalks. Keep blogging. Patty

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
That TV special on Olive sounds very interesting. Perhaps they'll show it over here too at some point.
Love the Irish couple with the mirror joke. Too cute!
Take good care!
love and ((hugs))

Gledwood said...

I hope someone put's the Olive film on youtube... you can easily put a 1hr film in 6 x 10min parts...

talking of the Irish, it's odd when I was 15 the world seemed full of jokes of how thick they all were, now NOBODY says that!! Their country is in economic boom, too!

There was a thing on the radio about a town called Bethlehem in Wales near (well fairly near) where I used to live... I must admit I'd never heard of it, though aparently people come from all over Britain just to get their Xmas cards stamped "Bethlehem"!!

Have a good one Merle!!


Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed your post as usual.

Happy a happy holiday season.


Jim said...

Those were all good, Merle. Olive makes the papers and TVs here too, but we won't get the hour progrom.

I like to walk with one foot on the curb and the other in the street/gutter. It embarasses Mrs. Jim or Karen but that's partly why I do it.
I did learn it from Bill Cosby in one of his programs where he was being silly.
So far no cars have come near me.

Jeanette said...

Hi Merle I wont be able to watch Olive tomorrow ive got to get the pennant bus at 7.15 am. but it might be on again at a later date. great jokes the irish got me tonght ..
TY for the lovely Xmas email.. well take care im of early tonight cant be late for the Bus,, love Jan...

Gledwood said...

I would really like to see that Olive movie, as I said... I hope they show it over here!

deborah wilson said...

Dear Merle,

Catching up on your blog -

About Olive - I wish that ABC would show that program here in the states - I'll have to Google her tomorrow to see what I can find.

...And why not dance!

Wishing you well as the Christmas rolls in!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. Just popping in to let you know I survived lunching with Peter and Warren...heheh. We had a lovely time and amazingly never ran out of things to talk about. Just goes to show...we're all gas bags.

Hope you're surviving the Christmas idiocy. Take care. Hugs xoxo

Hootin' Anni said...

I'm laughing at the "donation to the Indian relief fund" and asking Mrs. Custer. Too funny [my hubby is a big historical fanatic for Gen. Geo. Custer stuff, he's gonna really appreciate this one]

Hi Merle...

I'm here for a special purpose today. I want to send you my best wishes for the holidays and tell you that I truly cherish YOU and I love visiting. Happy Christmas to you!!

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

How are you?
How is the bruise on your leg?
How about the lesion?

Praying for you and John...
In God we trust!

(((HUGS))) and love.
Please take care, my friend =)

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Some cute ones here... like "Who was Joan of Arc ? Noah's wife."
I really hope that you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! ~ jb///

SMA said...

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while
we're here we should dance !!!
Wonderful words! Thank You for all the special moments i spent here , visiting your blog, this year.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year for You and Your family and all the best for 2008!

daffy said...

I loved my visit as usual Merle. I hope you are keeping well. We have had cold and miserable weather here in the Uk. Loved the jokes. They make me laugh uncontrolably! :o) xx

Melinda said...

Hi Merle,
Once again what a fantastic post! I just stopped by to wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Take Care Love Melinda

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hi Merle, I am reading this on Wednesday, 11.30pm-ish, so have missed the special on Olive ... hope they show it again sometime.
Hope you have been keeping well.
Just dropping by to wish you a very merry Christmas and a safe and Happy new Year.
Will be in touch again soon.
Lots of love and best wishes ... Connie xx

Gledwood said...

I just read that again:
60 seconds of happiness lost ooer some people have lost 60 YEARS of it!

PEA said...

Hello dearest Merle:-)

Today is Wednesday and you last posted on Sunday so I do hope everything is ok and that you're just busy! I've just finished doing some cooking and putting it in the freezer to use during the holidays. I've been such a terrible commenter lately but it's only due to lack of time...after the holidays I should be back on track with my blogging:-)

How wonderful that you'll be spending Christmas with your daughter and family. May you have a truly blessed Christmas with your loved ones. Merry Christmas dear friend. xoxo

Mountain Mama said...

Hi Merle. I loved your funnies, especially the one about the kilt.
Isn't it marvelous that Olive is still blogging.
Take care,
Hugs to you

Lady Di Tn said...

Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy happy New Year to our sweet tater who brings us silly bloggers great cheer.
I consider you one of my many blessings. I can always leave blog land with a smile on my face after I have been to your place.
Thanks and Peace be with you.