Wednesday, January 30, 2008

God's Cake.

Post 402 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 30th January, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope all is well in your world and in your
lives. I hope the weather is better for us all before too long.
It was 37C here today which is close to 100F and too warm.
The nights are around 20 C so only need a sheet, almost 70F.

Fortunately, I have been able to spend most of the day inside.
My Lawn Mower Man came and cut the lawns before lunch, so
they look better for a while. They grow quickly in Summer.
We are supposed to get a thunderstorm tonight, so some rain
would be good. I have been in and out turning hoses on and
off as I don't believe in rain until I see it.

Tonight the first item was sent to me by my dear friend of
long standing, Barbara, It is called "God's Cake" and I hope
you will enjoy it. Thank you Barbara.

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or
"Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful
explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother, how every-
thing is going wrong, she's failing maths, her boyfriend broke
up with her and her best friend is moving away,

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter
if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely
Mum, I love your cake,"

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck," says
the daughter.

"How about a couple of raw eggs ?" "Gross, Mum!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda ?"
"Mum, they are all yucky !"

To which the mother replies, "Yes, all those things seem bad all
by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way,
they make a wonderfully delicious cake!"

God works in the same way. Many times we wonder why He would
let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that
when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for
good. We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make
something wonderful.

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a
sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in
the universe, and He chose your heart.

If you like this, share it with the people you really care about. I did.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we
might as well dance.
<><><>

My son, Geoff sent me the first one. Thanks Geoff.


A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish,
unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or
feminine. "House" is feminine: " la casa."
"Pencil " however
is masculine : "el lapis."

A student asked, "What gender is a computer?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into
two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for
themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for
its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be
of the feminine gender (la computadora), because :

1. No one but their creator understands their internal language.

2. The native language they use to communicate with
other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory
for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your pay check on accessories for it.


(This gets better.)


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should
be Masculine ( el computador ) because :

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited
a little longer, you could have got a better model.

Share this with all the smart women you know . . . and all the men
you know who have a good sense of humour !!
<><>

One from Lady Di called Bubba Had Shingles. Thanks Di.

Those of us who spent time in a doctor's office should appreciate
this one. Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are
running practices like an assembly line ?

Here's what happened to Bubba.
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked
him what he had. Bubba said, "Shingles."

So she wrote down his name, address and medical insurance
number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba
what he had. Bubba said "Shingles,"

So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical
history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had.
"Bubba said, "Shingles."

So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an
electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes
and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently
in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, Shingles."
The doctor asked, "Where ?"

Bubba said, "Outside in the truck . . . .Where do you want me to
unload them ?"
<><><>

This JOKE ? was sent by Connie and Robyn. Thanks Girls.
Medical alert for Women.

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their
kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well this kind
of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.
I went to sleep and woke with someone else's thighs. It was just
that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine. Finally,
hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they
took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had
stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least
three inches lower than my original. I realized I would have
to give up jeans for long skirts.

Two years ago, I realized my arms had been switched. One
morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh
of my upper arms swing to and fro with the motion of the hair-
brush. This was really getting scary - my body was being
replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with
a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world
wake up and smell the coffee. Those "plastic" surgeons are
using REAL replacement body parts stolen from you and me.
Next time somebody has something "lifted" look again - was it
lifted from you ?

This is Not a Hoax. It is happening to women everywhere,
every night. Warn your friends.

P.S> Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was
lying in bed and they were gone ! But when I jumped out of
bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my
armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
<><>

My sister has just married for the fourth time. Her first
husband was very wealthy. Her second husband was a
theatrical producer and she wanted to be in one of his
musicals. Her third husband liked donkeys - - and she'd
always wanted a donkey.

Her current husband is Japanese and likes playing a game for
two. In fact, as far as husbands go, she's had one for the
money, two for the show, three to get neddy, and four to
play, Go.
<><>

"Why," asked Mr. White, " are you still overdrawn at the bank ?
"I don't know," replied his wife, "They sent me a bank statement
last month and a letter saying I was $500 overdrawn. Then
they sent me another letter insisting I pay the $500 within seven
days. So I paid it promptly. I immediately sent them a cheque
( check) for the money."
<><>

George was delighted the day he got his first set of false teeth.
Even his young children said the teeth made him look years
younger.
That evening George had a lot of work to do in his study, so by
the time he went to bed he was feeling very tired. As he bent
towards the bedside table to set his alarm clock, George realized
that he was still wearing his false teeth. He felt too weary to
get out of bed and go to the bathroom to put the teeth in a glass
of water, so he just removed the teeth and put them on the bed-
side table.

The following morning the teeth had disappeared. George
looked
behind the bedside table, under the bed, queried the
children as to the whereabouts of the missing teeth -- but
the teeth could not be found.

Later, that day he was making the bed and lifting up the
pillow, saw a pile of coins resting on the sheet. The tooth
fairy had taken his false teeth by mistake !!!
<><>

The hereditary peer was boasting of his ancestors and
generally acting in an arrogant and disdainful manner
towards one of his club members who was a self made man.

Eventually the man could stand the peer's attitude no
longer and said, in a loud voice, "From what you have
been saying, it would appear that the nobility of my family
begins with me, whereas that of yours ended with your
father."
<><>

I once knew a man who was sold a plot of land at the North
Pole. He thought it was the ideal place to grow frozen peas.
<><>

Just a few quotes ~ ~ ~

No one is born hating another person because of the colour
of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must
learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be
taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human
heart than its opposite. ~ ~ ~ Nelson Mandela.

Come live with me and be my love,
and we will all the pleasures prove. ~ ~Christopher Marlowe.

I must go down to the seas again to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall shi[ and a star to steer her by.
~ ~ ~ John Masefield.

People ask you for criticism, but they only want praise.
~ ~ ~ W. Somerset Maugham.

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one
thing they marry later. For another thing, they die
younger. ~ ~ ~ Henry Loius Mencken.
<><>

Time to say bye for now. I hope the week is going
really well for you. Do something nice for someone,
even if it's only a smile or a kind word.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 402 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 30th January, 2008.
<><><>



15 comments:

Susie said...

Good morning dear Merle,
Just wanted to stop in for a quick hello to let you know I was thinking of you. I so enjoyed reading the God's cake. It truly brightened my spirits this morning.
Take care my friend and enjoy your summer sunshine. We're freeeezing here!!
xo

JunieRose2005 said...

Dear Merle,
Enjoyed reading your post- as Susie above- I also especially liked the 'God's Cake.'


Also want to say- I have something nice for you at my place, so stop by when you can!

Love,

June

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Thanks for another good one. Thanks for sharing Bubba doctor's visit. I thought the one from Geoff was priceless and must copy it for future use.
Please take care in the heat and I feel the same about the snow the weathermen say we will have on Friday. I will believe it when I see it.
Peace

audrey` said...

"God's Cake" is so delicious and non-fattening =)

Good Morning, Merle =)))

Have a very blessed day ahead.
(((HUGS)))

Day Dreamer said...

I love the "God's Cake" one so much. I've actually explained a bad day to my own daughter in a similar way once.

Best Wishes to you!!

Patty said...

You have another batch of goodies. I liked the one about missing body parts, the Medical Alert. How true. Also like they say, life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. This is also very true. Hope it soon cools off a little in your area. We're having colder weather again, it's 19 above zero right now, but the winds have died down. They were blowing so hard last night, and the rain, it up rooted trees, knocking down power lines, some people still don't have electric in rural areas. Thank goodness ours stayed on. Some places around had winds up to 65 miles an hour.
By tomorrow evening it's suppose to start to sleet, get icy, and snow, by Friday morning it will be a mess. Thank goodness I don't have to go out of the house for anything. Just have to worry about three of our daughters getting to work ok. You have a great evening. Sleep well.

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle. It sure was a warm day yesterday we had 37c also..
loved God cake.. great jokes good one from Geoff, but i think Lady Di gets my vote tonight..hehehe.A few weeks ago Dr. thought I was getting shingles but no rash . so now saying Muscle spasms.. oh boy it was painfull.
Good Quotes. the first is my pic...Take care dear Merle, Love Janxxxx

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

There is a surprise for you on my blog =)
HeHe!

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I hope your temperatures get a little cooler, and ours get a little warmer!

God's Cake is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Hah, I agree that the computer is masculine! Oh, my, now I know what happened to my hijacked body parts! Hahaha. And the missing false teeth...and...well, I had my morning chuckles with you this morning, Merle. Thank you! I hope it cools off a bit and you get some rain, and I hope it warms up a bit here, and we don't get the predicted snow. Have a wonderful day!

Love,

Renie

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Merle, I assume your in need of rain. My I offer some of the wet stuff that that falling around here recently? Alex, due to the cold and rain—both in water and fluffy water forms—hasn’t gone outside much recently and his indoor play is driving me up a wall.

linda may said...

G'Day Merle,
I loved the god's cake story. I put some pictures on my blog tonight if you want to have a look.

Margaret said...

Dear Merle, enjoyed the read very much, God's cake was terrific and the jokes very funny.
Love Margaret

Big Dave T said...

I stop by hoping you're cooking something warm and stewy in your crockpot (since it's so cold here) and you say it's hot there. I had to check the date to make sure this wasn't an old post, or a re-run or something.

The computer joke was the best in my opinion.

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- Those were all sooo good! If I had to pick one, it would be the body part hoax-not.
I will send it to my sister, someday she will read your blog to see the ones I don't send her.

You stay in and keep cool. Your weather is about like ours at the end of June.
Cheers,
..

ancient one said...

Oh yeah, we could use some of that heat. Very cold and windy here today. Enjoyed your blog, as always! I loved the body parts being stolen the best. Hope you have a good day/night!!