Friday, February 01, 2008

Bless My Computer.

Post 403 ~~ Friday, 1st February, 2008.

Hello My Friends ~~ I hope you are all doing well and looking
forward to the weekend. Let's hope it's a good one, with the
weather being a bit milder for us all. It isn't too bad here today
and I'm thankful for that. Strange how it can be 37C one day,
and down to 27C the next, although it will be going up again
so they tell us, and rain is predicted AGAIN. Maybe this time.

My first item tonight was sent by my dear friend Connie
I think a few of you bloggers will enjoy it. Thanks Connie.

Dear Lord,
Every single evening as I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny Prayer keeps running through my head :

God bless all my family wherever they may be,
Keep them warm and safe from harm for they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing I wish that You could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking, Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual to Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second Lord, while I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them by the kindness that they give,
and this little scrap of metal takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them, Much the same as You.
We share in what life brings us and from that our friendships
grew.

Please take an extra minute from your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book that's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach to each and every friend,
B;ess each e-mail inbox and each person who hits "send."

When You update your Heavenly list on Your own Great CD-ROM.
Bless everyone who says this prayer sent up to GOD.com

Amen.
<><>

Lady Di sent me this one, and although I have posted iy before
it can stand a re-run. Kids are so cute. Thanks Di.

Why God Made Moms. Answers given by 2nd grade children
to the following questions.

Why did God make Mothers ?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we get born.

How did God make Mothers ?
1. He used dirt, just like the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just
used bigger parts.

What ingredients are Mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and every-
thing nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they
mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom ?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms
like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom ?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him ?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does
he get drunk on beer ?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year ? Did he say NO to drugs
and YES to chores ?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad ?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom
eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house ?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to be because
Dad is such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff
under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do
than Dad.

What's the difference between Moms and Dads ?
1. Mom's work at work and work at home and Dads just work
at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have the real power
'cause that's who you ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time ?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect ?
1. On the inside she's perfect already. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd
get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my
sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back
of her head.

When you stop laughing, pass it on to other Mothers, Aunts,
Grandmothers and anyone else who has anything to do with
kids or just need a good laugh.
<><>

The middle-aged business man returned from his honeymoon
with his young wife and showed her around his country house,
telling her she could make whatever changes she liked, change
the furniture, the wall coverings, and do a complete re- design
of the entire house -- whatever would make her happy.

A few days later the businessman had to return to his City office
and apartment. His young wife soon set about making changes
to the country house.

That weekend, when the businessman returned home, his wife
embraced him and said she had prepared his dinner.

"I'll just get a bottle of wine from the cellar," said the businessman.
But when he entered the cellar he was shocked. Row after row of
wine racks were completely empty. He could only find a few
bottles of non-vintage wine.

"Darling," called the businessman, "where have you put the rest of
the wine
?"
"I had a major clear out," replied his young wife. "You had some
really old bottles. Didn't you read the labels ? It's not healthy to
keep out-of-date stuff so I threw away all the wine that was past
the date written on it."
<><>

I was once invited by a business colleague for a meal in an
expensive restaurant while on a sales trip to Germany.

The whole restaurant was decorated with the stuffed heads of
animals. We had to sit next to a wall on which was hung the
huge head of a rhinoceros.

"My goodness," I said to the waiter. "That rhino looks fierce."
"It was," admitted the waiter. It killed my father."
"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. "Did it happen on safari in Africa?"

"No," said the waiter. "It happened here in Germany. My father
was sitting in a chair underneath the rhino head when it dropped
off the wall and hit him !!"
<><>

Last Tuesday, I was in the doctor's waiting room and a young man
came in with an expensive watch for the doctor.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you !" said the man giving the
expensive watch. "This is a small token of my thanks for all
your excellent treatment of my uncle."

"But he died last week," said the doctor.
"I know," replied the young man. "Thanks to your treatment
I've just inherited five million pounds."
<><>

One door- to -door vacuum cleaner salesman consistently
beat all sales records. His boss, therefore decided to accompany
the salesman to see what sales techniques he was using in the
hope of being able to persuade others to use them.

The first door the salesman knocked on was opened by a middle-
aged woman. "Good morning," the salesman said. "Yesterday
I visited one of your neighbors and I was demonstrating this
vacuum cleaner when she told me a lot of interesting gossip.
Would you like me to come in and tell you what she said ?"
<><>

When I visited my young nephew I noticed that his dog was
scratching. "Does your dog have fleas ?" I asked.

My nephew looked at me scornfully and replied, "Surely you
know that dogs don't have fleas - - they have puppies."
<><>

The Browns were a wealthy middle-aged couple who lived in
a large house in the country. All went well for many years
until a new maid arrived. She was extremely attractive. Within
six months of her arrival, Mr Brown started to wake up every
morning at 5 am instead of his usual 7.30 am.

"Where are you going ?" asked Mrs Brown as her husband got
out of bed and slipped on his dressing gown.

"Once awake, I can't get back to sleep," Mr Brown replied, "so
I think I'll do some work in my study or walk around the garden.
You don't need to get up - just go back to sleep. You know how
deep sleep keeps you beautiful."

Mrs Brown began to suspect that her husband was sneaking into
the maid's room. What should she do ?
It was soon to be the maid's parents' wedding anniversary, so one
Thursday afternoon when Mr Brown was on a business trip to
London, Mrs Brown suggested that the maid might like to pay a
surprise visit to her parents.

"You can go now, if you like," suggested Mrs Brown, "and come
back on Monday."
"Thanks very much," said the maid, it's most kind of you."
And
off she went to pack for her trip.
Soon as the maid left the house, Mr Brown returned home about
9 pm and, after watching TV for a bit, went to bed.

Promptly at 5 am, Mr Brown woke up and said he couldn't sleep
any more and was going for a stroll around the garden.

As soon as her husband left the room, and she could hear him
cleaning his teeth in the bathroom, Mrs Brown rushed to the
maid's room and got into the maid's bed.

Mrs Brown had been lying in the dark for about 5 minutes when
she heard the sash window of the room being slowly lifted and
a man climbed in through the window.

Mrs Brown braced herself in the darkness, but relaxed as the man
made tender passionate love to her. She was ecstatic. Why could
her husband make such wonderful love to the maid and be so
boring in bed with her ?

"Darling," whispered Mrs Brown snuggling up to the man in bed,
"let's do it again."

"Sorry luv," replied the man. Mrs Brown was aghast. It was not
her husband's voice. "No time for more, now," continued the man,
"but I can come back when I've finished the milk round."
<><>

"My mother-in=law has gone to the West Indies."
"Jamaica ?"
"No -- she decided to go by herself."
<><>

A few quotes to finish with. ~ ~ ~

Ask yourself if you are happy and you cease to be.
~ ~ ~ John Stuart Mill.

Example moves the world more than doctrine, ~ Henry V. Miller.

Of man's disobedience and the fruit of that forbidden tree whose
mortal taste brought death into the world, and all our woe, with
loss of Eden. ~ ~ ~ John Milton.

I wish I could care what you do or where you go but I can't . . . My
dear, I don't give a damn. ~ ~ ~ Margaret Mitchell.

One should eat to live,, and not live to eat. ~ ~ ~ Moliere.

Oft in the stilly night
'Ere slumber's chain has bound me,
Fond Memory brings the light
Of other days around me. ~ ~ ~ Thomas Moore.

Anyone who isn't confused doesn't really understand the
situation. ~ ~ ~ Ed Morrow.

That is enough for this post. I hope you enjoyed some of it
at least. Have a happy day and a wonderful weekend.
I see that January has flown !! Take great care, people,
Love and Best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 403 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 1st February, 2008.
<><><>



20 comments:

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Hey, I'm the first to post tonight!!!

I loved the "God bless my computer," but then I read "Why God made mom's," and laughed myself sick. Loved it.

Here's something for you;
Give this heart ♥ to
every person you care about
including me if you care.
Try to collect 12
Its not easy

Janice~

Pearl said...

Bless this Computer is so wonderful. This little box holds the key to so many friendships. Sometimes I can't believe I am talking to someone in Australia.
Hope you are doing well.

I have my fingers crossed that you will be receiving your package from me very soon.

Hugs,

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I loved Bless My Computer! And kids answering the question of Why God Made Moms, is so cute. The vacuum cleaner salesman had a good sales pitch, didn't he? Haha. I enjoyed all the jokes, as always, and my favorite of the quotes was moving the world by example, not doctrine.

Dear Merle, I'm glad it's a little cooler by you. Happy February, dear friend.

Love,

Renie

deborah wilson said...

Dear Merle,

Why God made Moms is so cute - maybe I should let my own grandkids answer those questions. It would be fun to see what responses they give. haha

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- Those are all soooo good again! My vote would be for the Moms, the maid mix-up 'might' be second.
I hope you get rain and that God will keep on protecting your computer. I think about that every so often, I need a day to back up some things that shouldn't be lost. My computer is pretty old.
..
Merle, that thing on my 'last post' was a chance spread somewhat resembling the shape of a long tailed horse, of the 'Magic Shell' I put on my vanilla icream. (I ate out of the bucket that day.)
Too bad it didn't turn out to be The Christ like all those people get on their windows in Italy. That would have made me rich!

And Adi (our dog for the other readers) has ice cream every evening just after we finish eating ours. Her's is never chocolate.
..

Gledwood said...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hi Merle I got sent this ~ ♥ ~ with instructions to pass it around and to ask you to pass it around ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ as much as you please or can...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Patty said...

Good afternoon Merle,
Really enjoyed the middle age couple living in the large home, and wife thinking he was fooling around with the maid. Gave me a chuckle.

Hope you have a great week-end and it's cooler for you. Our temp is 28 above zero at the moment, and light snow flurries. We DID NOT get the storm the weather man said was to arrive last night and I'm glad.

More later. Sleep well tonight so tomorrow will be a which better day after a good nights sleep.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I’m so glad, Merle, to hear that the weather is as crazy on your side of the equator as on mine. The other day the temperature was 61 F here at 5:00 p.m. and had dropped all the way down to 19 F by 6:00 a.m. the next morning.

Puss-in-Boots said...

"Anyone who isn't confused doesn't understand the situation"...that's me!

How are you Merle? Glad to see the jokes are still coming...but I winced at the one where the young wife threw out all the vintage wine...she must have been blonde!

Your temperatures are certainly up and down the gauge, aren't they. Ours are between 28 - 31 and very humid...nothing new.

Have a good weekend. Hugs.

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Amen!
Yeah! Our computer is so important to us.
It connects our friends together.

Take care.
(((HUGS)))

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle, You gave me quite a chuckle tonight,,love God made Mums, kids say the darnest things..laughed at Robyns comment as i was going to say OOOhhh nooo not the vintage wine,,,Were has January gone,,well another very warm day over, Take Care Dear Merle...love Janxxx

Jeanette said...

Hi Merle me again forgot to pass this on
Now here's something for you;
Give this heart ♥ to
every person you care about
including me if you care.

Margaret said...

Dear Merle, loved the post as usual, 'Oft in the Stilly Night' brought me a wonderful memory of my mother who used to sing along with many other lovely songs as she milked cows, did the house work etc.
Love Margaret

PEA said...

Good morning dear Merle:-)

I do hope this finds you in the best of health and enjoying your Summer days?!! Your temperatures are going up and down...ours too, but in the other direction! lol We get frigid temps of -25c for a couple of days and then it goes to 4c for a few days before going back down again. Mother Nature seems to be having a hard time making up her mind! One thing, though, we've got LOTS of snow!!

Love the "Bless my Computer" prayer...isn't it so true! When I finished redecorating my computer room, I was carrying my computer from the basement to put it back in the room and while holding it to my chest, I thought "all my friends are in here":-) It certainly has become a lifeline to many of us!!

I so enjoyed catching up with you...I know I've been a terrible commentator lately but things have settled down now so I should become more of a regular blogger:-)

Take good care of yourself and have a wonderful weekend my friend. xoxo

Lady Di Tn said...

Well it is Saturday here and probably Saturday evening there. I hope yours was a good one. Thanks for sharing and just want to say Thanks again for brighten my day.
Peace

SMA said...

Dear Merle, thank you again for sharing this post with us. You are always very inspired and brig us lot of wisdom, kindness and joy. That's why let me bring you another reward that you fully deserved.It's name is :‘You make the world a better place’.
(look in my post)
Love and blessings,
Sma

Susie said...

Hello dear Merle,
Loved the computer blessing! Lots of truth in that one for sure...
Hope this finds you well. We've got our first bit of sun today and it lifts one's spirits!
As always, thank you for being such a kind and thoughtful friend with your wonderful comments.
love and hugs!

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- I guess we should be praying for the Internet too, at least your server and connection.
..

Mountain Mama said...

Hi Merle/ Your COmputer paryer is really good. I have prayed a few like that myself. Isn't it amazing how we can feel so 'close' to our blog friends?
Hope you have a great weekend.
Blessings

Mountain Mama said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.