Monday, February 04, 2008

Some Lucky Survivors. and Karen's birthday.

Post 404 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 4th February, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ How are things in your part of the world ?
I hope all is going well for you as we head into another week.
They sure do fly by don't they ? All is well here, although it
was a different story yesterday.

We had a very thunderous storm - very loud one with the
usual lightning and I am not fond of storms. Anyway it did
produce 33 mm s of rain. There are 25mm s in one inch.
The rain was welcome, but I was glad when it quietened down
only to find another problem. I could not get on to the Inter-
net which had obviously gone down.

So plans to blog, and read and comment all had to wait until
today. So I actually had an early night for a change. It has been
quite humid since the rain, and I am not at all keen on humidity.

My dear friend Karen had her birthday 2 days ago, so won't
you pop over and wish her a happy belated birthday. I hope it
was your best yet dear Karen.

I have been very fortunate and grateful to have been awarded
some lovely awards. I will try to pass these on in my next post.
Thank you to the lovely folks who have passed them on to me.

My friend, Linda sent me a list of folks who survived 9/11 and
the reasons they did survive. Thanks Linda.

The head of a company survived ~ because his son started
kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive ~ because it was his turn to bring
the donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ turnpike because
of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he
should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

One that struck me was the man who put on new shoes that
morning and took the various means to get to work, but before
he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped by
a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone. All the little things
that annoy me, I think to myself,

This is exactly where my guardian angel wants me to be at this
very moment.
<>

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong. The children
are slow getting dressed. You can't seem to find the car keys.
You hit every traffic light, Don't get mad or frustrated;
It may be just that Someone is watching over you.

May Love continue to find you
With all these little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.
<><>

Next is a warning sent by my Grand-daughter Kate that
I want to pass on to you all. This came from Melbourne
but no doubt it goes on all over the world.

A few weeks ago in a movie theatre in Melbourne a person
sat on something poking out of the seat. When she got up
to see what it was she found a needle sticking out of the seat
with a note attached saying "You have just been infected
by HIV."

The disease control centre in Melbourne reports many similar
incidents have occurred in many other Australian cities recently.

All tested needles are HIV Positive.

The Centre also reports that needles have been found in the cash
dispensers in ATM s. We ask everyone to take great care when
faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be
inspected with vigilance and caution before use.

17 people have tested positive in the Western suburbs alone, in the
last 2 months. A careful visual inspection should be enough.

By passing on this warning, you may save someone's life. Please
be very careful at public places.
<><>
Time for a few jokes ~ ~ ~ ~

My friend Robyn sent me the first one. Thanks Robyn.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make
their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day we went into town and into a shop.
We were only in there about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a
senior citizen a break ?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbbutt.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires,
So I called him a butthead.

He finished writing the second ticket and put it on the windshield with
the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more
tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have
a little fun each day now that we are retired. It's important at our age.
<><>

One from Lady Di. Hope you are feeling better, thank Di.

GIT - R - DONE. Marijuana Filled Firewood.

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office ?"
"Yes, what can I do for you ?"

"I'm calling about my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's hiding marijuana
inside his firewood. Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs,
but he's hiding it there . . ."
"Thank you very much, for the call sir."

The next day, twelve sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they
bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer
at Virgil and leave.

Shortly the phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil. This is Floyd . . Did the Sheriff come ?" "Yeah."
"Did they chop your firewood ?" "Yep."
"Happy Birthday, buddy."

Rednecks know how to git-R-dun.
<><>

When I was a small boy my parents used to give me pocket
money and showed me a large money box to put it in.

Whenever I was given money from relatives at Christmas
and my birthdays, my parents encouraged me to put it in
that box. It was only when I was about 10 years old that I
discovered the large money box was the electricity meter.
<><>

Mr Smith was always so busy working that he never had much
time to spend with his son.
Then on his son's 17th birthday, Mr Smith managed to get away
from his office to take his son for a birthday lunch at an
expensive restaurant.

"Cor." said his son, when the waitress took their coats. "Look
at the size of her boobs. I wonder what she's like in bed."

Mr Smith was rather alarmed at his son's comments, but they
were soon seated in the restaurant and father and son
exchanged gossip and news.

Just as they were about to leave the restaurant, an attractive
young woman entered.
"Wow." exclaimed Mr Smith's son in a loud voice, "Her boobs
are fantastic. I really fancy her."

Mr Smith was embarrassed. His son seemed to have turned into
an uncouth chauvinistic yob. Maybe the boy's school was to
blame.

Thus it was that Mr Smith's son was removed from the local school
and sent away to the upper form in one of Britain's most expensive
public schools. It was surely not too late for the boy to learn some
manners.

On his son's 18th birthday Mr Smith took his son to the same
restaurant as before - Mr Smith was delighted at the way his
son behaved. He was polite and well-manered and did not
make uncouth remarks about the waitresses but treated them
with charm and was a perfect gentleman.

The son talked of his plans for university, and Mr Smith was about
to comment on the amazing transformation of his son into a man
with excellent behavior -- surely the work of the public school ---
when the son looked at one of the waiters and said, "Look at that.
Isn't that a cute bottom ? I wonder what he's like in bed ?"
<><>

"Thank you for winning the case," said the grateful client to her
solicitor. He had won her $35,000 from the local council as she
had tripped over an uneven slab of pavement and injured her leg.

"It was a pleasure," said the solicitor, handing her his bill.
The client took the bill, then frowned. "This bill is pretty steep.
Is it right ?"
"Of course," replied the solicitor. "It represents good value for
all our time, care, experience expertise and legal knowledge. If it
wasn't for us, you would not have won the case."

"But your costs are almost half the damages," replied the client.
"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had a case."

"But," said the solicitor, "anyone can trip over a paving slab."
<><>

Wendy was sobbing as she phoned her best friend, Louise.
"It's my husband," cried Wendy, "He's just died."
:Oh, I'm terribly sorry," said Louise, "Were you with him when
he died. ?"
"Yes," sobbed Wendy, "I don't know what to do."
"It must be terrible for you," said Louise. "Did he have any
last requests ?"

"Yes," sobbed Wendy. "He looked at me and asked, "Please
put down that gun. Please don't shoot me. . ."
<><>

David's wife was in tears. "What's wrong ?" he asked.
"It's our daughter Fiona," sobbed the wife. "I know she is in
love with Mike and they will make a lovely couple. But she's
only 20 and when she marries, she'll leave home . . ."

"There, there," soothed David. "I know we will be losing a
daughter but we will be gaining a bathroom and a telephone."
<><>

For twenty-two years, my husband and I were happy- then
we met and got married.
<><>

"Darling, just imagine . . We've now been married for 24 hours."
"Yes, dear, it's incredible. And it seems like only yesterday."
<><>

Now for some quotes ~ ~ ~

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. ~~ F. Ogden Nash.

England expects every man to do his duty.
~ ~ ~ Lord Horatio Nelson.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps unless the billboards fall. I'll never see a tree at all.
~ ~ ~ (Frederick) Ogden Nash.

No man should escape our universities without knowing how
little he knows. ~ ~ ~ J. Robert Oppenheimer.

We seek him here, we seek him there Those Frenchies seek
him everywhere. Is he in heaven ? Is he in Hell?
That damned elusive Pimpernel ?~~ Baroness Orczy.

Winning isn't everything, but wanting to is. ~~ Arnold Palmer.

The heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing about.
~ ~ ~ Blaise Pascal.
<><>


That's it folks ~ I hope you found something of interest. Take
great care of yourselves and each other and spread some smiles
around to folks who don't have any of their own.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 404 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 4th February, 2008.
<><><>




14 comments:

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle..We had rolling thunder and lightning and only a brief shower I think about 8mm but power was going on and off for a least hr then lost power for a couple of hrs late afternoon then again when i was watching movie. so didnt put computer back on after the first black out...
Great jokes again, Floyd got his wood chopped hehehe, and how I remember the electricity meters. I think Mum,s took sixpences then when to a shilling.. live and learn..
take care my friend Jan..

Jeanette said...

Its me again Merle I didnt know how to make hearts so i just copy and pasted this straight on to comments... Now here's something for you;
Give this heart ♥ to
every person you care about
including me if you care.
Try to collect 12 ♥

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I don't like severe thunderstorms either, and we may have one late tonight and tomorrow. And I'm glad your Internet is back up!

How terrible about the needles infecting people with HIV!

The one about the senior citizens fun was funny! And the rednecks can be very resourceful, can't they? There is always so much to chuckle and smile about here, dear Merle. Hope your temperatures are a little cooler and less humid. Our winter has given us a break, and I'm enjoying it. Have a lovely day!

Love and Blessings,

Renie

daffy said...

The funnies are great Merle.
Glad you survived the wet weather.
The best storm I ever saw was when we were on holiday in Ibiza. We were flooded and we were in a third floor apartment!
Hope you are keeping well! xx

PEA said...

Hello dearest Merle,

Glad you're having some rain but sometimes you wish not all at once! lol I don't care much for loud storms either. We're supposed to get another 5 to 10 cm of snow tonight.

Isn't it amazing the reasons why some of these 9/11 survivors are alive today? Such simple reasons and yet today they're alive because of them. Their guardian angels were certainly at work there!!

It truly sickens and saddens me what people are doing to others...for example the HIV infected needles in the seats. Truly makes you wonder if conscience is an emotion that is gone. Good warning, though, to be very careful next time you sit down in a public chair or go to the ATM machine.

As always, a pleasure to read your post and have some laughs at the jokes and quotes:-) Take care dear friend and have a wonderful day! xoxo

Jim said...

Hi Merle, they were all of interest today.

"We came into town by bus" has my vote for first place. I would love to try that someday but I wouldn't be so bold with the metermaid.

I'm glad your guardian angel likes you where you are,
Cheers,
..

JunieRose2005 said...

Hello Merle,


Always fun stuff to read here! :)

I don't know how you always are able to get so many good jokes!!!


Hope your weather isn't stormy ....just gentle rain!! :)

Take care,


Junie

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
my oh my. Storms are about to happen here tomorrow. It is the strong winds that make me uncomfortable with all these big trees around.
Glad you came out without any damage and a little wet ground for a change.
Thanks for the laughs and using git r done.
Peace be with you.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Great post as usual, and I'm glad your internet server is up and running again so you were able to post it.

Janice~

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Dear Merle, I am finally getting around to visiting everyone (well, hopefully everyone!!).
Love your collection of goodies, although isn't it sad that people do stuff like putting HIV infected needles in cinema seats.
Sounds like you got a bit of rain ... we missed out again ... darn it !!
I love thunderstorms, although am very pedantic about turning off computer, tvs and stuff during electrical storms ... paranoia plus !!
Anyway, dear Merle, I hope we can get a chance to catch up sometime again. I really enjoyed our visit last September.
Take care, hugs, Connie xx

Patty said...

Good morning Merle,
Time to go to the kitchen and fix yet another breakfast. Seems like some days that's all I get done, is fixing meals and washing up the dishes, perhaps it's just that I'm to slow getting things done. Ha!Ha!. Also I get side tracked doing other things before I complete one job, that doesn't help either.

Got a chuckle from Mr. Smith and his son on his 17th and 18th. Birthdays.

We had a bad thunderstorm about two hours ago. Lots of rain, very loud thunder. In fact my husband woke me around 4:15 when he got up, I wasn't able to fall back to sleep, so I finally got up around 6, got tired of trying to fall back to sleep. Ha!Ha! That's hard work when you're not that sleepy. I know by 2 this afternoon I will be dozing. also get my hair cut at 10 this morning. Have a great day.
Love,
Patty

mreddie said...

Glad you weren't washed away in the storm. I also try to have a little fun every day since I retired. "The Scarlet Pimpernel" is one of my favorite movies. ec

Beams said...

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/hiv-needle-hoax.html

You might like to check out some of your info Merle before you post. But I do enjoy your blog and have been a "lurker" for a while ..think this is the first time I have posted.

audrey` said...

Thank you for the warning that was sent by Kate.
It is very cruel to play that kind of nasty joke.

Take care =)