Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I Cannot Remember.

Post 395 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 16th January, 2008.

Hello everyone ~~ How is the world treating you today?
I hope all is going well for you, as it is here. It is quite a
pleasant day with a temperature of about 30C. That's
about 86 F-- just nice.

My Home care lady came yesterday so things are looking tidy
again and I always enjoy fresh bed-clothes. During her time
here, I had a visit from another dear friend. Her name is Sherrill
and she went to school with my Kathy. In fact many years ago
I used to clean the High School at Nathalia, and these two used
to help me sweep or vacuum the rooms after school.

It is always nice to see Sherrill and she sends me some of the
things I post on the blog. She came over to Shepparton from a
near-by town to donate blood. She had some lunch with me,
before going to do some shopping and go to the hospital.
Kathy and Sherrill were bridesmaids at each other's wedding.

First item tonight is called "I Cannot Remember" by
Author Unknown. Hope you enjoy it.

I cannot remember when I strolled on the shore, feeling
the soft warm sand under my feet.

I cannot remember when I felt the cold crisp water caressing
my feet as it rushed back to the sea preparing to return.

I cannot remember when I sat and watched the sunrise
marking the beginning of a new day in everyone's life.

I cannot remember when I took the time to separate the
colors of the rainbow, for I spent more time focussing
on the "pot of gold."

I cannot remember when I sat and watched my favorite actor
in a cinema; when I spent time with my best friend, my dog.

I cannot remember when I last strolled in a park admiring the
wonders of the plant kingdom, hugging a tree to feel the energy
flowing into my being, becoming one with the tree, my brother.

Are we not all related? Do we not all come from the same energy
or life force?

I cannot remember when I sat in a forest listening to the sweet
songs of the birds, listening to the little stream bubbling along,
the sound uplifting my inner being.

I cannot remember when I walked hand in hand with my loved
one, too busy holding the hand, which needed support.

Neglecting those close to me, hearing them but not listening.

Am I allowing life to pass me by, continuously giving of myself
but never replenishing.

Can one give if there is an imbalance within? Is it fair to the
one who asks for support.

Yes, I cannot remember when I have given time to MYSELF.

Well, it is time to remember just that, and once I am replenished,
then I will be able to replenish those who could not remember.

I thank my creator for giving me time to remember.
<><><>

First joke tonight came from my friend Sandy Thanks Sandy.

There was a little old lady, who every morning, stepped onto
her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted,
"PRAISE THE LORD."

One day an atheist moved into the house next-door. He
became irritated at the little old lady.

Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and
yell, "THERE IS NO LORD."

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every
day.

One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped
onto her front porch and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD !!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me,
oh Lord."

The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there
were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
"PRAISE THE LORD", she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED
GROCERIES FOR ME."

The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted,
"THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES !!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted,

"PRAISE THE LORD ! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH
GROCERIES -- AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM !"
<><><>

This next one is from my friend, Margaret . Thank you so much.

The first day, God created the dog and said : "Sit all day by the
door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life-span of twenty years.

The dog said : "That's a long time to be barking. How about only
ten years and I'll give back the other ten ?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said : "Entertain
people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I will give you
a twenty year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
the dog did. And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go
into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun,
have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this,
I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said : Eat, sleep, play,
marry and enjoy your life. For this, I will give you twenty years."

The man siad, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me
my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey
gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty. OK?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and
enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to
support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks
to entertain our grandchildren.

And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank
me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
<><><>

"Sewing Machine Ad."

The following is an ad that appeared four days in a row in a real-
life newspaper - - the last three hopelessly trying to correct
the first day's mistake.

MONDAY : For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale.
Phone 948-0707 after 7 pm and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives
with him. cheap.

TUESDAY Notice : We regret having erred in R.D.Jones' ad
yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap.
Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs Kelly who lives with him after 7 pm."

WEDNESDAY Notice : R.D. Jones has informed us that he has
received several annoying telephone call
s because of the error
we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as
follows : "For sale: R. D> Jones has one sewing machine for sale.
Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 pm and ask for Mrs Kelly who
loves with him."

THURSDAY Notice " I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine
for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the
phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly.
Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit !!"
<><>

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's
doing a show in a small club in a small country town. With his
dummy on his knee he's going through his usual dumb blonde
jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her
chair and starts shouting.


"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you
think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color
of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's
guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at
work and in the community and from reaching our full potential
as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate
discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general . . .
and all in the name of humour !"

The ventrilogist is embarrassed and begins to apologise, when
the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister. I'm talking to
that little jerk on your knee !!"
<><>

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home
from the city one night, and of course the car is weaving all
over the road. A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop, "where have you been?"
:Why I've been to the pub, of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well." said the cop, "It looks like you've had quite a few."
"I did all right," the drunk said.

"Did you know," the cop asked, "that a few blocks back, your
wife fell out of the car?"

"Oh, thank goodness," sighs the drunk, "For a minute there,
I thought I'd gone deaf."
<><>

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the supermarket
and said, "I,ve lost my wife in the supermarket. Can you talk to
me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman like you, my wife
appears out of nowhere."
<><>

A few more Mark Twain quotes ~ ~ ~

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of joy,
you must have someone to divide it with.

It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no
influence in society.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may
still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind
of advertising.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

<><>
Enough for this post. I hope you are all having a
good week. Enjoy your lives and do something nice
for someone. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 395 ~ ~~ Wednesday, 16th January, 2008.
<><><>




12 comments:

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I'm glad you have another pleasant day. It's very cold in my part of the world! I loved-I Cannot Remember.

Cute joke about the little old lady. And thank you for the public service of explaining life. Hahaha. Good one. And the blond joke...and well, I enjoyed all the jokes. Love the quotes, especially the one about joy.

I always enjoy visiting here, dear Merle. Have a wonderful week!

Blessings and Love,

Renie

Margaret said...

Dear Merle, great jokes as usual and loved the quotes as well. no worries about us posting the same item, it is now twice as funny as it was before. Lots of love Margaret

Lady Di Tn said...

OOPS. I do have a very bad habit of tuning people out and not listening. It was real helpful when I worked in a large insurance office with lots of women. I could tune them out and work on.
Thanks for jarrin me out of a bad habit.
It always makes me feel warm and fuzzy they way you end your post.
I am glad to be a small part of your world. Thanks for sharing.
Peace

JunieRose2005 said...

Dear Merle,

Loved reading the jokes as I always do.


It was nice you had a friend visit you- and that things are going well with you.

Take care,

June

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

I like reading your quotes and look forward to catching up with you again... me, I am heading back home to Australia on the 18th of this month and looking forward to having spending some Summer days back there... I can't wait to get 'home'... take care

Patty said...

Glad you had a nice day, and clean bed linens. Liked the sewing machine ad joke. We went grocery shopping today, and I changed one bed, have dirty sheets in the washer now. That's about all I've done today, other then the usual everday stuff one has to do each day. Abe and I both slept pretty good last night. Hope tonight is just as good. More later.

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Good Morning, my friend.
Yeah! You had a fabulous time with Sherrill. She's a very sweet dear friend =)

"I Cannot Remember" is so nice. I like it very much.

Take care.
(((HUGS))) and blessings to you, Merle.

Granny said...

Loved the joke about the sewing machine. It's so true that we often make things worse when we try to fix them.

Enjoy your lovely weather. It's pleasant this afternoon but may drop to freezing tonight along with our usual heavy fog.

Sorry I've been absent. We're finally in better health so I'm playing catchup once again.

You've disappeared from Bloglines. I'll see if they moved you to the letter "M" instead of "T".

Gattina said...

You lucky girl ! 30° ! it's not cold here either quite unusually warm (9°C) but we had a bad storm, 100 km/h ! No victims though. I had a bronchitis, but today I feel much better.

deborah wilson said...

Dear Merle,

86 degrees is a little cooler than what is has been for you, I've been reading about the heat wave that has been going on in Australia.

The tree that was cut down, that sounds like a sweet gum tree. I have one in the back of my house, next to my patio, and it produces those little prickly balls. They hurt your feet if you step on them barefoot! I have to keep the balls raked up. The tree is growing in the most ridiculous place, but I leave it alone, I discovered that in the US, Luna moths breed and such around the sweet gum (as well as other trees, such as Oak, etc.) In 2006, I saw a Luna for the first time in many years, and didn't see one at all last year. Here in US, Luna's are endangered.

I don't think that you have Luna's in Australia?? They are a beautiful huge, green silk moth, with what looks like little eyes on their back wings.

I'll post a picture later today for you.

Take care and try to stay out of the hot weather!

Jim said...

Merle, I sure am glad you have plenty of friends. You all seem to enjoy each other's company.

The jokes were really good. Thank you for the blonde one.

Cheers,
..

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle. Doesn't It always Feels nice after the cleaning Lady's been. Mine was in wednesday. More great jokes . had quite a chuckle at the sewing machine ad .and the Blonde. HEHEHE...Were getting a nice shower of rain at the moment hope it keeps up during the night it will do the garden good.Take care dear Merle im off to finish watching Tennis Casey the Aussie Girl hope she gets and wins . Jan