Puppies For Sale.

Post 396 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 18th January, 2008.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope you have all had a good week, and
it is over for us, as it is Friday night - 9.30pm. It is raining very
gently which is terrific as it seem to soak in better than the
heavier rain. And we are in need of it. My lawn has brown grass
which is not the color I aim for.

Couple of photos tonight ~ ~ ~

This is a new Hoya which is actually more pink than it looks here

These are a couple of the prickly balls from the tree that was removed next door.
My friends, Mr. Eddie and Deborah both said it looked like a Sweet Gum. Well,
it seems it was, BUT we call them Liquidambers over here. Pic is blurry - sorry.

First tonight, I have a nice story called "Puppies for Sale." Thank you Barbara.

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign
advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the
edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he
felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little
boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of
his neck. "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good
deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep
into his pocket, he pulled out sa handful of change and held it
up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer and with that he let out a whistle.
"Here, Dolly," he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly
followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.
His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy
noticed something else stirring inside the dog-house.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticely
smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat
awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward
the others, doing its best to catch up . . . .

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the
runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,
"Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able
to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that, the little boy stepped back from the fence,
reached down. and began rolling up one leg of his
trousers. In doing so, he revealed a steel brace running
down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially
made shoe.

Looking back at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't
run too well myself and he will need someone who
understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked
up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the
little boy.

"How much ?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered
the farmer. "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who
understands.
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First joke tonight came from my friend, Sandy. Thanks.

A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a
larger congregation that will pay him more. There
was a hush within the congregation as nobody wanted
him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the
city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays,
I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and
his wife with a Honda Mini=van to transport their
children."

The congregation sighs in relief and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and
investor, stands up and says, "If the Preacher will
stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and
establish a foundation to guarantee the college
education of all his children."

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a
smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex."

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones,
Whatever possessed you to say that? Sadie's 90 year
old husband Jake is trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his
head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well,
I just asked my husband how we could help, and he
said, "Screw the Preacher !"

P.S. Isn't senility something else?
Like Sandy said she didn't want to offend anyone and
neither do I.
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Things My Mother Taught Me.

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you are going to kill each other, do it outside, I've
just finished cleaning."

She taught me religion. You better pray that comes out
of the carpet.

My mother taught me about time travel. "If you don't
behave I'll knock you into next week."

She taught me about logic. "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear
clean underwear in case you're in an acciden."

She taught me irony. "Keep laughing and I'll give
you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

She taught me about being a contortionist. "Will you
look at all the dirt on the back of your neck."

My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there
until all that spinach is finished."

She taught me about the weather. "It looks like a
tornado went through here.

My mother taught me about hyperbole. "If I've told
you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate."

She taught me about behaviour modification. "Stop
acting like your father."
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Driving to the office this morning on the motorway, I
looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand
new Mercedes doing 110 km per hour with her face up close
to her rear vision mirror putting on eyeliner. I looked away
for a couple of minutes and when I looked back she was
half-way over in my lane still working on her makeup.

It scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which
knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand. In all the
confusion of trying to straighten up the car, using my knees
against the steering wheel. It knocked my mobile from my
ear, which fell into my coffee, between my legs, causing it to
splash and burn me, causing me to scream, which made me
drop my cigarette from my mouth, ruined my shirt and
disconnected an important call !!!

B****y women drivers !
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A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells
the blonde to look out for cops -- especially cops with their
lights on/ After they had been driving for a while, the brunette
asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.

"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on ?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says,
"Yes, No. Yes. No..Yes..No."
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A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily
married and about to have a baby. One day, his wife
started having contractions, so the husband rushed
her to hospital. He held her hand as she went through
a trying birth. In the end, there were two baby boys.

The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said,
"All right, who's the other father ?"
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Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like
he'd just been run over by a train. His arm in a sling,'
his nose is broken, his ace is cut and bruised and he's
walking with a limp.

"What happened to you? asks Sean, the bartender.
Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"O'Connor couldn't do that to you, he must have had
something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible licking he gave me with it."

"Well, " says Sean, you should have defended your-
self, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy . . . Mrs. O'Connor's breast,
and what a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.
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A few quotes to finish with ~ ~ ~

Respect is worked for
Trust is earned
Friendship's hard to find
Miracles are easy, AND
Life is full of small surprises.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way
to the grave. ~ ~ ~ Quentin Crisp.

What is this life if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. ~ William H. Davies.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
~ ~ ~ Charles Dickens.

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast.
~ ~ ~ W. C. Fields.

Large streams from little fountains flow.
Tall oaks from little acorns grow. ~~David Everett.

That is it for tonight folks, Enjoy the weekend that
is coming uo. Look after yourselves and each other.
Keep on smiling. Love and best wishes to you all.
Take care, Cheers, Merle,

Post 396 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 18th January, 2008.
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