Friday, January 18, 2008

Puppies For Sale.

Post 396 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 18th January, 2008.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope you have all had a good week, and
it is over for us, as it is Friday night - 9.30pm. It is raining very
gently which is terrific as it seem to soak in better than the
heavier rain. And we are in need of it. My lawn has brown grass
which is not the color I aim for.

Couple of photos tonight ~ ~ ~

This is a new Hoya which is actually more pink than it looks here

These are a couple of the prickly balls from the tree that was removed next door.
My friends, Mr. Eddie and Deborah both said it looked like a Sweet Gum. Well,
it seems it was, BUT we call them Liquidambers over here. Pic is blurry - sorry.

First tonight, I have a nice story called "Puppies for Sale." Thank you Barbara.

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign
advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the
edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he
felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little
boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of
his neck. "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good
deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep
into his pocket, he pulled out sa handful of change and held it
up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer and with that he let out a whistle.
"Here, Dolly," he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly
followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.
His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy
noticed something else stirring inside the dog-house.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticely
smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat
awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward
the others, doing its best to catch up . . . .

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the
runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,
"Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able
to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that, the little boy stepped back from the fence,
reached down. and began rolling up one leg of his
trousers. In doing so, he revealed a steel brace running
down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially
made shoe.

Looking back at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't
run too well myself and he will need someone who
understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked
up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the
little boy.

"How much ?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered
the farmer. "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who
understands.
<><>

First joke tonight came from my friend, Sandy. Thanks.

A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a
larger congregation that will pay him more. There
was a hush within the congregation as nobody wanted
him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the
city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays,
I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and
his wife with a Honda Mini=van to transport their
children."

The congregation sighs in relief and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and
investor, stands up and says, "If the Preacher will
stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and
establish a foundation to guarantee the college
education of all his children."

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a
smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex."

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones,
Whatever possessed you to say that? Sadie's 90 year
old husband Jake is trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his
head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well,
I just asked my husband how we could help, and he
said, "Screw the Preacher !"

P.S. Isn't senility something else?
Like Sandy said she didn't want to offend anyone and
neither do I.
<><>

Things My Mother Taught Me.

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you are going to kill each other, do it outside, I've
just finished cleaning."


She taught me religion. You better pray that comes out
of the carpet.


My mother taught me about time travel. "If you don't
behave I'll knock you into next week."

She taught me about logic. "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear
clean underwear in case you're in an acciden."

She taught me irony. "Keep laughing and I'll give
you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

She taught me about being a contortionist. "Will you
look at all the dirt on the back of your neck."

My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there
until all that spinach is finished."

She taught me about the weather. "It looks like a
tornado went through here.

My mother taught me about hyperbole. "If I've told
you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate."

She taught me about behaviour modification. "Stop
acting like your father."
<><>

Driving to the office this morning on the motorway, I
looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand
new Mercedes doing 110 km per hour with her face up close
to her rear vision mirror putting on eyeliner. I looked away
for a couple of minutes and when I looked back she was
half-way over in my lane still working on her makeup.

It scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which
knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand. In all the
confusion of trying to straighten up the car, using my knees
against the steering wheel. It knocked my mobile from my
ear, which fell into my coffee, between my legs, causing it to
splash and burn me, causing me to scream, which made me
drop my cigarette from my mouth, ruined my shirt and
disconnected an important call !!!

B****y women drivers !
<><>

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells
the blonde to look out for cops -- especially cops with their
lights on/ After they had been driving for a while, the brunette
asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.

"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on ?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says,
"Yes, No. Yes. No..Yes..No."
<><>

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily
married and about to have a baby. One day, his wife
started having contractions, so the husband rushed
her to hospital. He held her hand as she went through
a trying birth. In the end, there were two baby boys.

The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said,
"All right, who's the other father ?"
<><>

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like
he'd just been run over by a train. His arm in a sling,'
his nose is broken, his ace is cut and bruised and he's
walking with a limp.

"What happened to you? asks Sean, the bartender.
Jamie O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"O'Connor couldn't do that to you, he must have had
something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible licking he gave me with it."

"Well, " says Sean, you should have defended your-
self, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy . . . Mrs. O'Connor's breast,
and what a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.
<><>

A few quotes to finish with ~ ~ ~

Respect is worked for
Trust is earned
Friendship's hard to find
Miracles are easy, AND
Life is full of small surprises.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way
to the grave. ~ ~ ~ Quentin Crisp.

What is this life if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. ~ William H. Davies.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
~ ~ ~ Charles Dickens.

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast.
~ ~ ~ W. C. Fields.

Large streams from little fountains flow.
Tall oaks from little acorns grow. ~~David Everett.

That is it for tonight folks, Enjoy the weekend that
is coming uo. Look after yourselves and each other.
Keep on smiling. Love and best wishes to you all.
Take care, Cheers, Merle,

Post 396 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 18th January, 2008.
<><><>










12 comments:

Duxbury Ramblers said...

Hi Merle,

Great Blog as usual, loved all the jokes and I am still chuckling about the things my Mother taught me. Take care and God Bless.

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

lol- I liked the jokes as always...that driver one was a hoot for sure....and pretty close to the truth!


Love that little pink flower. It's one I don't know.

Hope you're having a good day.


June

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- I had trouble with your blog today. Then I figured out it was my Kiddie Filter stopping it. OK after I bypassed that!

We have one of those trees, it belongs to the neighbor also, but the sticky balls and leaves really invade our place.

I liked your dog story, it was predictable and I hadn't heard/read it before.

How about that, a blonde guy joke. These should be banned.
Maybe that's what bothered my filter.
..

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Have a good night rest listenin to the soft rain. The flower was very pretty.
Have a great weekend. lol at "Shut up and eat".
Peace

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle:-)

Gosh, I hadn't realized I had missed so many of your posts...blame it on being very busy and not having time to visit everyone. Once I've got my computer room all redecorated and put back together, I'll become a regular blogger again:-)

It's -6C here right now and supposed to get down to -24C by Sunday so we're gearing up for a frigid few days again. This is when I envy you your 30C temps! lol

I so love that flower, it's not one I'm familiar with but it's so pretty! Of course I don't have any flowers blooming outside but I noticed today that my Flaming Katy is starting to bloom...I have it hanging in the basement in front of the window and it really seems to like it there. Nice to see some colour during the middle of winter:-)

Loved the jokes...I'm still laughing over the preacher one! lol Have a wonderful weekend, dear friend, and know that I'm thinking of you! xoxo

Patty said...

Ok Merle, first you have me with tears in my eyes about the little boy, farmer and puppies, I've read this many times, but it still seems to bring a tear to my eye. Then I was laughing reading the next one about the preacher, then the woman and man driving to work. You do post some jolly jokes. Glad you are getting a gentle rain. We had some rain last evening coming back from the Dancing With the Stars, but it's turning really cold now. At the moment is is 26 above zero and suppose to get colder. So tomorrow I'm making a big pan of vegetable soup. That should keep the chill away. Sleep well my friend.

deborah wilson said...

Dear Merle,

I love the story about the puppy. Now I want a puppy. A little puppy.

The pic of the tree balls are just like the ones off my tree - what we call sweet gum. Those things do hurt the feet!

Take care for the weekend..:)

Alice said...

I hope that good rain continued all night and through today for you Merle, as it did here. The garden is loving it.

I always love that story of the little boy and the puppy. Your jokes are great, too.

I hope January is being good to you.

Take care.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle, here I be...not before time, too.

I've read that puppy one before but it still made me juicy eyed.

I loved the one about what mothers say...sounds like my mum...lol!

Hope all is well with you and yours and I wish we could send some of our rain down to you. We have heaps of water now, thank goodness, at home, that is. The dams, especially Wyvenhoe, need lots more water.

Hugs xoxo

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle. Oh Glorious rain It will help my very patchy brown lawn. A few green spots were a hose attached to washing machine reaches, loved the farmer and puppy story. great jokes and very good quotes. im off to finish watching lleyton hewitt, hope he can win..love janxxx

Kerri said...

Lovely to hear you're getting a bit of rain Merle.
I love the puppy story. It always puts a tear in my eye.
Ross and I especially enjoyed the Belfast pub joke :)
Sounds like you're doing well and I'm very glad to hear it!
Hope you're having a lovely weekend!

audrey` said...

Hi Merle

"Puppies For Sale" is so touching.
God bless the little boy.

(((HUGS)))