Mid--Life Thoughts.

Post 390 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 7th January, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ How is the world treating you? I am fine and
have just come inside from the garden at 9 pm. I like daylight
saving ! I have been pruning a few things, as far as I can reach
that is. And I picked another lot of tomatos, they have been
bearing well and of course doing some watering etc.

I am interested to know if you people who read this prefer this size
print or the larger one I used to use. It seemed to be getting too big,
but say the word and we will go back to it.

I think for awhile, I will post on alternate days, and read and reply
on the days I don't post. I will see how that goes; it's not written in
blood. I will probably change that from time to time.

My first item tonight was sent to me by a friend Linda L. so I
hope you will enjoy it. Thanks Linda.

I can almost feel myself losing weight . . . By forwarding this to you!
You will understand at the end.

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is
a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on
how great menopause will be . . . Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few
thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether
you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck),
you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives
us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired moustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We
are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can
see your rear end without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is
the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top
and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us a few curves and we're
sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper wearing teenager
and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can
retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body by Jake now includes Legs by Rand
McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map
of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective . . . You start
pondering the " big" questions. What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice-cream can I eat before it's no
longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our
loved ones make the journey worthwhile.

Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body
you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand
to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy
and I'm sticking to it.

Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds.
Send it to all the women you know and you will lose ten pounds.

If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.
That's why I had to pass this on - - I didn't want to risk deleting it.
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Now for some jokes, but what was that previous item if not a joke?

Timothy Tattle, a rather shy middle-aged man, got lost in the back
streets of Soho one day. Suddenly a furtive looking man in a shabby
raincoat slipped out of a shop doorway and sidled up to Timothy.

"Want to buy any pornographic pictures?" asked the man.
"Certainly not!" replied Timothy. "I don't even own a pornograph."
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Father to small son: "How many millions of times have I told
you not to exaggerate?"
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My neighbor asked me to drive him to the airport where he
wanted to greet his brother who had been in America for the last
30 years, in fact since they were both boys.

:Will he know you?" I asked him.
"He should do," said the neighbor, (I haven't been away.)"
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I hear that your first two wives died of mushroom Poisoning.
And now you tell me your third wife just fell off a cliff.
A bit strange, isn't it?"

"Not really, She refused to eat the mushrooms?"
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A husband went off to see a rugby match and he hadn't been gone
long when an old flame of his wife called. This chap was on a hike
and wearings shorts and a tee shirt, and as it had started to rain,
being in the district, he had looked her up.

They were talking about old times when suddenly a key was heard
turning in the lock -- the husband had returned. Quick as a flash
the woman said, "You'd better hide, for you remember he never
liked you." So the chap ducked down behind the rather large
television set that was in the room.

When the husband entered he said, " It has raining very hard, not
nice at all, and I found out that the second half is televised, so I've
come back to watch it in comfort."

After a time the chap behind the television set was getting cramp,
so he decided to make a bold gesture, and he rose up and walked
out of the room without a word.

Then the husband turned to his wife and said, "Funny, I never saw
the ref send him off."
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Grandma was nearly 90 years old when she won the Lottery. Her
family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that
the news of her large win would come as too much of a shock to her.

"I think we had better call the doctor to tell her the news," suggested
the eldest son. The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained
to him.

"Now, you don't have to worry about anything," said the doctor. "I am
fully trained in such matters and I feel sure I can break the news gently.
I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health.
Everything will be quite safe if left to me."

The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the
conversation around to the Lottery.
"Tell me," said the doctor, "What would you do if you won a million
dollars on the Lottery?"

"Why," replied the old lady, "I'd give half of of to you, of course."
The doctor fell down dead with shock !!
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The tea manufacturers wanted a new advertising gimmick, so the
senior creative man at the advertising agency decided to go to
Rome to see if he could persuade the Pope to make a TV
commercial.

The pope gave the ad man an audience and he made his request.
"We will give you $100,ooo for a ten second commercial. All you
have to say is "Give us this day our daily tea."

"I'm sorry," replied the Pope, "but I cannot do as you request."
"$5o0,000," offered the man.
"I'm afraid not," said the Pope solemnly.
"All right , $1,000,000. And that's our last offer."

But still the Pope refused to make the commercial and the ad man left.
On his way home the ad man turned to his secretary and said : "That's
odd. I mean, the Pope refusing to do a commercial for tea.
I wonder how much the bread people are giving him."
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More from my Friendship Calendar ~ ~ ~

Friendship can start in childhood and follow you all through life.

Friends are there for those times
When you feel you are about to lose your way
They cheer you up and show you
That there's still joy in every day.

Friendship is someone visits for no other reason than to see you.

It brings along such comfort knowing that should trouble ever fall,
We have a very special friend Who will always hear our call.

A true friend is always loyal and shows a sense of care,
And with whom our hopes and dreams we may always share.

A friend is someone you trust with your
innermost thoughts and feelings.

Enough for tonight folks. Take care and enjoy your lives
as much as possible. They are the only ones we have.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 390 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 7th January, 2008.
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