Thursday, May 22, 2008

Beautiful Women's Month.

Post 455 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 22nd May, 2008.




Hello Everyone ~~ Nice to be with you all as we get
close to another weekend. These weeks sure do slip
by, don't they? I hope the week is going well for all
of you. It has been a different sort for me.

I saw my Eye Specialist last Friday, who told me I
have had a small haemorrhage in my eye, which
explains my worsening eyesight. He sent me to have
an ultra scan on my carotid arteries (one either side
of the Adam's apple), as he thought I had some small
clots in that artery. I had that done yesterday, totally
painless, and with great results. It has proven to be
satisfactory and I can stop worrying now about the
possibility having a stroke or at best an operation.

My son, John came from work and took me, although
I could have got a taxi. Anyway it was good to have
moral support, and then John, Heather and I went
out for dinner, which I enjoyed muchly. Not sure if
that is a word, but after the few days of worry I have
had, I feel as if I'm entitled. Hi Jim.

My niece Vicki sent me the following article, so I
have decided to share it. Vicki is still having severe
pain, but we are still hoping and praying for a good
outcome. Thank you Vick for the e mails.

Beautiful Women's Month.

Age 3 She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8 She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15 She looks at herself and sees an Ugly
Sister,(Mum, I can't go to school looking like this.)

Age 20 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat/ too
thin/too short/ too tall/ too straight/ too curly'
but she decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat/ too
thin/too thin/ too short/ too straight/ too curly' -
but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's
going out anuway.

Age 40 She looks at herself and sees 'clean' and
goes out anyway.

Age 50 She looks at herself and sees 'I am" and
goes wherever she wants to.

Age 60 She looks at herself and reminds herself
of all the people who can't even see themselves in
the mirror any-more - so she goes out and
conquers the world.
Age 70 She looks at herself and sees wisdom,
laughter and ability and goes out to enjoy life.

Age 80 Doesn't even bother to look - just puts
on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with
the world.


Maybe we should put on a purple hat (see above pic)
earlier. . . .

Pass this on on to all the women you are grateful to
have as friends. If you do, something good will
happen. You will boost another woman's self esteem.
<><>

Now to find some jokes for you ~ ~ ~
First ones from Lady Di. Thanks again Dianne.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a
cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto ! The
blockage will instantly disappear.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while
you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting
the toilet seat - use the sink.

4. For High Blood pressure sufferers - simply cut
yourself snd bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct
tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD 40. If
it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember - Everyone seems normal until you get
to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an
electrical problem.

Daily thought: some people are like slinkies - not really
good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face
when pushed down the stairs.
<><>

Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla

became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined
the problem, The gorilla was on heat. To make matters
worse, there were no male gorillas of the species
available.

While reflecting on their problem the zoo management
noticed Rick, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing
the zoo's machinery. Rick, like most Kiwis, had little
sens but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to
satisfy the female of any species.

So the zoo administrators thought they might have
a solution and approached Rick with a proposition

Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla
for $500? Rick showed some interest, but said he
would have to think it over carefully.

The following day, Rick announced he would
accept their offer, but only with three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss her."
Secondly, you must niver tull anyone about thus."

The zoo administrators quickly agreed to these
conditions, then asked about his third condition.
"Well," said Rick, "You gotta give me another wik
to come up with the $500."
<><>

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They
lit a fire in the craft, it sank. Proving once and for
all, you can't have your kayak and heat it.
<><>

Better move to another book I think.
Ned took a job in Canada's far frozen north
"Here's your emergency survival kit," said his
boss. "It contains a box of flares, a radio and a
pack of cards."
"What are the cards for?" asked Ned.

"In case the flares don't work, and the radio
freezes up," replies the boss. "Just take out the
cards and play Solitaire. In about ten seconds
someone will tap you on the shoulder and say,
"Put the red nine on the black ten." "
<><>~ ~ ~ Kevin Hilders.

Sign on company notice-board: "This firm
requires no physical programme. Everyone
gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions,
flying off the handle, running down the boss,
flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the
back, dodging responsibility and pushing
their luck." ~ ~ Financial Times.
<><>

When her husband's will was read, a widow
learned that he had left the bulk of his fortune
to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to
change the inscription on her spouse's tomb-
stone.

"Sorry lady," said the stone-cutter, "I have
inscribed "Rest in Peace' on your orders. I can't
change it now.:

"Very well, " she said grimly, "Just add "Until
We Meet Again." ~~ Robert E. Cantell
<><>

Two church members were comparing the
sermons of the vicar and the curate.
"Personally, I prefer the curate," said one.
"Why is that?" asked the other.

"Well, he always says 'in conclusion' and
concludes," replies the first , "and the vicar
always says, 'lastly' and lasts."
~ ~ ~ Beverley Powell.
<><>

A New South Wales fisherman lost his dentures
over the side of the boat in rough weather, so
his prankster friend removed his own false teeth,
tied them to his line and pretended he had
caught the missing gnashers.

Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried
putting them into his mouth, then hurled them
into the sea with the disgusted remark, "They're
not mine. They don't fit."
~ ~ Column 8, Sydney Morning
Herald.
<><>

And a few sayings to finish with ~ ~ ~

It is said that you can't take it with you; I say
there are two things you can take with you,
The things you do for others and the things you
do to others, ~~ Harold H Cornett. Jnr.


Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their
echoes are truly endless. ~ ~ Mother Teresa.

Knowledge is power. ~ Francis Bacon.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and
you cry alone. ~ ~ ~ Horace.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that take our
breath away. ~ ~ Unknown.

That is it for tonight, my friends, Keep on
smiling and love one another. Love and
best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 455 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 22nd May, 2008.
<><><>






14 comments:

linda may said...

Poetic justice on the false teeth eh. He He.

Alice said...

Great news on your medical tests, Merle. The relief after the worry is always worth a dinner out, isn't it?

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Really great, terrific, fantastic news. So glad to hear your reports were all good. That's always nice to have nothing new show up on a report. Glad your son showed up for morale support. Sorry Vicki is still having pain. Our one daughter was having severe headaches and they found she has something they call Pseudotumor cerebri here's a web site that talks about it.
http://www.umm.edu/ency/article/000351.htm
Take care.

Jim said...

Hi Merle, I'm ready to eat again! We did Wednesday, two times, Saturday is Mrs. Jim's family reunion with lots of food!

I lost a ... overboard once. That was the beginning of the end for ..
Cheers,
..

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle im over the Moon with your good results..
It was lovely for John to take you to dinnerI know you would have enjoyed that..
I had quiet a laugh at your jokes.
Well my friend have a wonderfull birthday on Saturday and hope you get lots of Pressies.. Take great care im off to Melbourne soon..Love Jan xoxoxo

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

Oh, I am so glad your ultra scan on the carotid arteries was satisfactory, and you won't have to worry about it. And that is so nice that John took you and then you all went out to lunch.

Beautiful Women's Month is beautiful! How very nice Of Vicki to send it. My prayers continue for Vicki.

WD-40 and Duct tape do come in handy, don't they? Haha. The jokes are all so funny, dear Merle, and the quotes are great. I have enjoyed my visit with you "muchly!"

It is Memorial Day weekend in the USA and we have wonderful weather in the forecast, so it should be good for grilling and picnicking. Have a great weekend, my friend. Stay well and happy.

Love and blessings,

Renie

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Yeah! God is so good. Your check-up and results are very satisfactory. I'm so happy for you.

Yes, Vicki is still in our prayers.

Beautiful Women's Month is so true. I'm who I'm and I can go out as I'm. HaHa!

Take care =)

audrey` said...

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to Merle
Happy Birthday to You!!!

(((HUGS)))

Much love and blessings to you my dearest friend =)))

(((HUGS)))

SMA said...

Hugs Merle!
I'm glad you are OKnow. I have a busy week-end but hope to read more from you on Sunday.
Bless you,
Sma

Christina said...

I'm so glad to hear your carotid test came back normal. I work for an ophthalmologist and we send people out for the same tests with bleeding in the eye. i hope there was no permanent damage and your eyesight returns to normal.

good post, enjoyed the jokes as usual!!!

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm so glad your ultra sound came out find Merle. I have a good friend that hasn't been so fortunate. She has one of her arteries that has an 80% blockage. She has already had a stroke about 6 years ago, so she needs to have it taken care of very soon. I'm very happy that you are okay sweetie. Good reason to celebrate for sure. I'm still trying to get my exercise and trying to eat well....Oh Poop. Stay well my friend...Have a great weekend....

mreddie said...

So glad the results on the arterys were good. Muchly has got to be a word because I hear my sister-in-law using it a lot. :) ec

deborah wilson said...

Merle,

I'm glad that your tests came back ok - it was nice of your son to take you to eat. Keep us posted about your eyes.

smilnsigh said...

Happy Belated Birthday Wishes to you, Merle!

PEA reminded me, so I came over to wish you well. Sounds like you had a lovely time. Grrrrreat!

Happy Birthday hugs,
Mari-Nanci
'Smilnsigh'