Beautiful Women's Month.

Post 455 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 22nd May, 2008.




Hello Everyone ~~ Nice to be with you all as we get
close to another weekend. These weeks sure do slip
by, don't they? I hope the week is going well for all
of you. It has been a different sort for me.

I saw my Eye Specialist last Friday, who told me I
have had a small haemorrhage in my eye, which
explains my worsening eyesight. He sent me to have
an ultra scan on my carotid arteries (one either side
of the Adam's apple), as he thought I had some small
clots in that artery. I had that done yesterday, totally
painless, and with great results. It has proven to be
satisfactory and I can stop worrying now about the
possibility having a stroke or at best an operation.

My son, John came from work and took me, although
I could have got a taxi. Anyway it was good to have
moral support, and then John, Heather and I went
out for dinner, which I enjoyed muchly. Not sure if
that is a word, but after the few days of worry I have
had, I feel as if I'm entitled. Hi Jim.

My niece Vicki sent me the following article, so I
have decided to share it. Vicki is still having severe
pain, but we are still hoping and praying for a good
outcome. Thank you Vick for the e mails.

Beautiful Women's Month.

Age 3 She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8 She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15 She looks at herself and sees an Ugly
Sister,(Mum, I can't go to school looking like this.)

Age 20 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat/ too
thin/too short/ too tall/ too straight/ too curly'
but she decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat/ too
thin/too thin/ too short/ too straight/ too curly' -
but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's
going out anuway.

Age 40 She looks at herself and sees 'clean' and
goes out anyway.

Age 50 She looks at herself and sees 'I am" and
goes wherever she wants to.

Age 60 She looks at herself and reminds herself
of all the people who can't even see themselves in
the mirror any-more - so she goes out and
conquers the world.
Age 70 She looks at herself and sees wisdom,
laughter and ability and goes out to enjoy life.

Age 80 Doesn't even bother to look - just puts
on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with
the world.


Maybe we should put on a purple hat (see above pic)
earlier. . . .

Pass this on on to all the women you are grateful to
have as friends. If you do, something good will
happen. You will boost another woman's self esteem.
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Now to find some jokes for you ~ ~ ~
First ones from Lady Di. Thanks again Dianne.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a
cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto ! The
blockage will instantly disappear.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while
you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting
the toilet seat - use the sink.

4. For High Blood pressure sufferers - simply cut
yourself snd bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct
tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD 40. If
it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember - Everyone seems normal until you get
to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an
electrical problem.

Daily thought: some people are like slinkies - not really
good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face
when pushed down the stairs.
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Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare
species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla
became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined
the problem, The gorilla was on heat. To make matters
worse, there were no male gorillas of the species
available.

While reflecting on their problem the zoo management
noticed Rick, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing
the zoo's machinery. Rick, like most Kiwis, had little
sens but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to
satisfy the female of any species.

So the zoo administrators thought they might have
a solution and approached Rick with a proposition

Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla
for $500? Rick showed some interest, but said he
would have to think it over carefully.

The following day, Rick announced he would
accept their offer, but only with three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss her."
Secondly, you must niver tull anyone about thus."

The zoo administrators quickly agreed to these
conditions, then asked about his third condition.
"Well," said Rick, "You gotta give me another wik
to come up with the $500."
<><>

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They
lit a fire in the craft, it sank. Proving once and for
all, you can't have your kayak and heat it.
<><>

Better move to another book I think.
Ned took a job in Canada's far frozen north
"Here's your emergency survival kit," said his
boss. "It contains a box of flares, a radio and a
pack of cards."
"What are the cards for?" asked Ned.

"In case the flares don't work, and the radio
freezes up," replies the boss. "Just take out the
cards and play Solitaire. In about ten seconds
someone will tap you on the shoulder and say,
"Put the red nine on the black ten." "
<><>~ ~ ~ Kevin Hilders.

Sign on company notice-board: "This firm
requires no physical programme. Everyone
gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions,
flying off the handle, running down the boss,
flogging dead horses, knifing friends in the
back, dodging responsibility and pushing
their luck." ~ ~ Financial Times.
<><>

When her husband's will was read, a widow
learned that he had left the bulk of his fortune
to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to
change the inscription on her spouse's tomb-
stone.

"Sorry lady," said the stone-cutter, "I have
inscribed "Rest in Peace' on your orders. I can't
change it now.:

"Very well, " she said grimly, "Just add "Until
We Meet Again." ~~ Robert E. Cantell
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Two church members were comparing the
sermons of the vicar and the curate.
"Personally, I prefer the curate," said one.
"Why is that?" asked the other.

"Well, he always says 'in conclusion' and
concludes," replies the first , "and the vicar
always says, 'lastly' and lasts."
~ ~ ~ Beverley Powell.
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A New South Wales fisherman lost his dentures
over the side of the boat in rough weather, so
his prankster friend removed his own false teeth,
tied them to his line and pretended he had
caught the missing gnashers.

Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried
putting them into his mouth, then hurled them
into the sea with the disgusted remark, "They're
not mine. They don't fit."
~ ~ Column 8, Sydney Morning Herald.
<><>

And a few sayings to finish with ~ ~ ~

It is said that you can't take it with you; I say
there are two things you can take with you,
The things you do for others and the things you
do to others, ~~ Harold H Cornett. Jnr.


Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their
echoes are truly endless. ~ ~ Mother Teresa.

Knowledge is power. ~ Francis Bacon.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and
you cry alone. ~ ~ ~ Horace.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that take our
breath away. ~ ~ Unknown.

That is it for tonight, my friends, Keep on
smiling and love one another. Love and
best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 455 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 22nd May, 2008.
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