Thursday, May 08, 2008

Ten Commandments of Success.

Post 448 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 8th May, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ ~ I hope all is well with you. I have
had some problems here. Like, I typed a post and was
ready to publish and it disappeared. I tried to retrieve
it but gave up at 2 am. Sooooo-- starting over with what
I can remember. My phone is not working at present
so it has been a lot of fun around here lately. Phone
should be fixed this afternoon. (I hope.) It was.!!

An update on my niece Vicki. The medication she is
on is helping, but she still has far too much pain and
headaches. She is looking better and has lost some of
the weight she gained. We are all hoping and praying
the meds will eventually correct the imbalances in her
body and get rid of the Cushings Syndrome. We all
very much appreciate the thoughts and prayers who
have kept her in mind. Thank you all so much.

I came across an old wall hanging that I have had for
years with "The Ten Commandments of Success " on
it and I will post it for you. Why shouldn't we all be
Successful ??

10 Commandments of Success.

1. Speak to people : There is nothing as nice as a cheerful
greeting. . . . .

2. SMILE : It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile. . .

3. Call people by name : Everyone is pleased when you
remember their name...

4, Be friendly & helpful : and others will respond in like
manner. . . .

5. Speak & act : as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure....

6. Be genuinely- interested in people. . . .

7, Be generous - with praise - cautious with criticism . . .

8. Be considerate -with the feelings of others, it will be
appreciated. . . . .

9. Be thoughtful -- of the opinions of others, there are 3 sides
to any argument, - your side, the other persons and the
right one. . . .

10. Be willing -- to give service, what counts most in life is
what we do for others. . . .
<><><>

My friend Lorraine gave me this one.
. Thanks Lorraine.

"The Test for Dementia." Which is scary !!
Below are four questions and a bonus question. You have
to answer them instantly. You can't take your time. Let's
find out how clever you really are . . . . .

First question: You are participating in a race. You over-
take the second person. What position are you in ?

Answer : If you answered that you were first, then you
are absolutely wrong. If you overtake the second person
and you take his place. You are second.


Second Question : If you overtake the last person, then
you are ?

Answer : If you answered that you are second last, then
you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the
LAST person ?


Third Question : Very tricky arithmetic ! This must be
done in your head only Do not use pen and paper or a
calculator.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add
another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total.

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe
it, check it with a calculator.


Fourth Question : Mary's father has four daughters :
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3.Nini, 4. Nono What is the name of
the fifth daughter ?

Did you Answer Nunu? Her name is Mary. Read the
question again.


Okay, now the bonus round :
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a tooth-
brush. By imitating the acton of brushing his teeth he
successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the
purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a
pair of sunglaasses; How does he indicate what he wants?

He just has to open his mouth and ask . . . .
<><><>

A few jokes from my friend, Barbara. Thanks Barbara.

SERENITY.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up
to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband ?" "98," she replied, "Two years older than me."
So you are 96 ?" the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it ?"

Reporter interviewing a 104 year old woman,
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"
She simply said, "No peer pressure."

The best thing about being senile is you can hide your
own Easter eggs,

I've sure gotten old!! I've had two bypass surgeries,
a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer
and diabetes, I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter
than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts of dementia, Have poor circulation, hardly
feel my hands and feet any more. Can't remember if
I'm 85 or 92, Have lost all my friends.
But Thank God, I still have my driver's license.


I feel my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got
my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start
exercising. I decided to take an aerobic class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and
perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards
on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
pastor she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be
cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes to be scattered
over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart ?" the preacher exclaimed.
"Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I will be sure my daughters visit
me twice a week."


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be . . .
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff in my shoppind cart says,
"For Fast Relief."

THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked
anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.


Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because tou stop laughing.
<><><>

THE NEW BABY.

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs
have a new baby . . .
The nurse brings a lovely healthy, bouncy, but definitely
a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
"Well, Mr Wong, what will you and Mrs Wong name the baby ?"

The puzzled father looks at the new baby boy and says,
"Well, two Wongs don't make a white. So I think we will name
him - - - - - Sum Ting Wong."
<><>

A few sayings to conclude with ~ ~ ~

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach him to
fish and he'll eat forever. Chinese proverb.

Half the world knows not how the other half lives.
~ ~ ~ George Herbert.

Having two ears and one tongue, we should listen twice
as much as we speak. Turkish.

However long the night, the dawn will break. African Prov.

Health is better than wealth. ~ ~ ~ Unknown.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. ~ ~ ~ American Saying.
<><><>

Well that is enough , so let's hope this will publish.
Take care and enjoy your lives. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 448 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 8th May, 2008.
<><><>





12 comments:

megz_mum said...

I didn't do too well on your dementia calculator - a tad concerning!

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

That has happened to me, a post I typed just disappeared and I had to start over. A bit frustrating, but we just start over and do it again. I'm glad it was successful the second time, for it's a great post!

I'm glad the medication is helping Vickie, and I will continue to keep her in my prayers.

I love the Ten Commandments of Success. And the Test for Dementia is scary! I got most of them wrong. Yikes! Good jokes, as always. I like the Senility Prayer. The advice not to stop laughing. So true. And the quotes are so good, especially Health is better than wealth!

We are having more rain in the Ozarks, and I feel like I live in a Rain Forest, these days. But everything is very green and growing like mad, and the lawnmower gives me lots of exercise!

Have a wonderful day, dear Merle.

Love and Hugs,

Renie

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Thanks for the update on Vicki! It sounds GOOD! ~ As four the Old Age test (Q#4) Shouldn't it be corrected? Mary is number 4 (not Nono) and there is NO FIFTH daugter (at least) according to the question. May be that I really AM GETTING OLD? ~ jb///

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Dear Merle, don't you just hate that when it happens, I've also had it happen when I leave a comment. But I know what I do, I click to preview and then forget to say publish, and click the thing shut and the comment is gone.

Like all the jokes and one liners about us all getting older. Esepcially this one, Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

Have a great evening.
Patty

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Your post posted!

I took your dementia calculator, hmm, I'm little worried.

Great jokes,
Take care,
Janice~

Dave said...

Your posts never fail to make me smile and laugh Merle!!!

Have a wonderful weekend. *S*

Sioux said...

Glad your received your package ok. Our grandson is in China now, and we are waiting to hear from him. There's an 11 hour difference in time. Love your blog, as usual. The jokes are precious and the 10 commandments are right on the money!

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Great post and I had to read two at once. Maybe when I get everything planted, taking care of them will not be as much of a chore. I planted ten geraniums and some impatiens in the pots on the porch after I went down and washed windows at the cabin. Did not get done as the painter came earlier than usual. Took Mimi back to the Doctor for a recheck on the surgery and everything is great, he wants her to come back in six weeks to check both legs again. I was so sure we were finished with him that I did not take my calendar along so now I need to check to make sure the day is open. Sorry to hear about Ken eating your post. I am sure he is blonde too. Glad your phone is back in service. Have a wonderful Mothers Day. Peace

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

:) lots of funnies here today!

I enjoyed them.

Oh!! I've been having a lot of trouble getting things to post , too! Also- a lot of other problems!

A mouse in my house, for one! :(


Take care,


June

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Yes, we're still keeping Vicki in prayers and thoughts. Our Lord is in complete control.

A missing post had happened to me before. I'm so happy that you managed to post it again. This is a very good post.

A Very Happy Mother's Day to you my dear friend =)

(((HUGS))) and love and much blessings to you too =)

Take care, Merle.

wazza said...

Gidday Merle,

I must admit losing a post hasn't happened to me (fingers crossed), although if it did I'm sure I would be a little peeved, as you would know most of my posts are usually quite long. I guess or don't really know if there is a way one can try and find a lost post. As blogger now has autosave wouldn't your post have been saved, if not what's the point in having autosave??

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