Thursday, July 03, 2008

A Hug Certificate For You.

Post 474 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 3rd July, 2008.

Hello my friends ~ ~ I hope all is well with you. I am fine
and all is well at my place. It has been cold here lately -
around 13 degrees C which is about 55.4 F. but not a
lot of rain, which would be most welcome.

A very Happy Independence Day tomorrow for all the
American friends. Hope you have a great holiday.

I am posting some photos that we took while Kathy
and kids were here for their very short visit.

This is my youngest granddaughter, Jorja who is 10 and is now taller than me.
Darn it. Only my Great granddaughters are shorter than I am. I think I am
helping them a bit by shrinking !!!

This is Kathy and her younger son, Nick who is now a dreaded teenager, 13.

Kristen 15 and Jorja 10. Can you read Jorja's top, it has a warning on it.

This is all of us, Nick, Jorja, Kristen, Merle and Kathy. Taken by my
Home Care lady, just before they left for home.

Tomorrow, my cousin, Bill turns 80. Have a great day Bill, and many,
many more of them. ( None of this aiming to be the star attraction.)
You have always been a star to many of us, and well loved.

Tonight I have a short poem called a Hug Certificate for you.
My other daughter, Julie sent this one to me. Thanks Julie.

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.

Time for some jokes ~ ~ ~

One from my friend Barbara with the unlikely name of
Four Worms and a lesson. Thanks Barbara, once again.

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would
add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed in four separate jars.

The first worm was put in a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put in a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the
following results :

The first worm in alcohol -- Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke -- Dead
The third worm in chocolate syrup -- Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil -- Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - - -
What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand
and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you
won't have worms."

That pretty much ended the service. . . . . . .

This next one was sent by my friend Gina. Thank you.
My Living Will.

Last night, my sister and I were sitting in the den and I
said to her:

"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on
some machine,
And fluids from a bottle to keep me alive,
That would be no quality of life at all,
If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out
my wine. She's such a bitch,

And one from Warren called "An E Mail from God."
Thanks Warren.

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all the
rascally behaviour that was going on. So He called one
of His angels and send the angel to earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95 % are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better
send down a second angel to get another opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth also.

When this angel returned he went to God and said,
"Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving,
but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased.

So He decided to email the 5% who were good, because He
wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to
help keep them going.
"Do you know what the email said?"
Okay, just wondering. I didn't get one either.

Flying Start.

It seems that a young man volunteered for military
service during World War II.

He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was
sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot camp. The very
first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on
the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings
and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in
the Pacific.

On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly
shot down 6 Japanese Zeros. Then climbing up to
20,000 feet, he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot
them all down, too. Noting that his fuel was getting low,
he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect
landing on the deck. He threw back the canopy, climbed
out and jogged over to the captain..

Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my
very first day?"

The captain turned around, bowed and replied, "Aah soo,
you only make one velly impoltant mistake."

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

A blonde calls Jet Star and asks, "Can you tell me
how long it'll take to fly from Sydney to Brisbane?"

The agent replies, "Just a moment, madam."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "I can't stop
singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' "

That sounds like 'Tom Jones syndrome," the
doctor says.
"Is that common?" the man asks.
:It;s not unusual."

A few fun sayings ~~ ~~

Those who jump off bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle--in a manor of speaking.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Dijon vu -- the feeling you've experienced this mustard

What's the definition of 'hangover' ?
It is the wrath of grapes.

Time to close for tonight. Enjoy the last day of the
week and have a wonderful weekend. Again a very
Happy Independence Day. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 474 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 3rd July, 2008.


Bear Naked said...

Loved the e-mail from God joke.
Iam going to pass that one on to my daughter.

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Very nice post as usual. Laughed out loud at several of the jokes and read the flier one to Abe. He also chuckled. Don't feel bad, my two youngest grandkids 8 and 9 are almost as tall as me. The 15 year old has to laugh, when he hugs me goodbye, he has to really lean over. I have shrunk about two inches since we got married, and I was short then. Last time I had my physical they claimed I was 4' 10" but I think I'm more like 5 feet, use to be 5'2 1/2 " tall. But what can you do? my daughers keep telling me if I keep on shrinking I'll have to set in a kids booster seat when riding in the car. LOL Will probably swipe the hug poem your daughter sent you and use one day on my blog. Have a great evening. Our temp here this morning at 10:45am is 68F and raining. More later. Very nice photos.

Rosezilla said...

What a lovely family you have! I love your grand-daughter's tee shirt saying. Only I'm old enough I should probably have one that says, "Help me! I'm talking and I can't shut up!" Loved the worm joke!

Big Dave T said...

Yeah, the e-mail said, "Keep up the good work. We're counting on you down there." I'm surprised you didn't get one.

Hea Merle, that is one GREAT looking family you have there. No wonder you're smiling.

We're having a picnic for the Fourth. Believe it's Kentucky Fried Chicken. But I'm thinking of one of your crockpot dinners. Mmmmmmmm.

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
Loved seeing some more of your family photos! Your granddaughters are just beautiful young ladies!
Loved the hug certificate and the worm story!

mreddie said...

Great family photos! The message on Jorja's shirt would fit for both of my granddaughters. :) ec

linda may said...

G'day Merle,
I would love to be thought of as worthy of the hugs poem you posted.
I have another saying for you"Lady who fly upside down have crack up" He He.
Isn't it lovely to see your family. One day if I am lucky I will have grandchildren too.

Nancy said...

Hi Merle!

Looks like you have a very loving family! The girls are all so pretty! It's fun to have them visit, I'm sure. I have no grandchildren but maybe someday!

I loved the Hug Certificate and the jokes were all too funny! I got a few laughs already today. Thank you!

Also, thanks for dropping by my blog. You're up early this morning! Oh, but then you're in a different time zone, being in Australia. I forget about that! I haven't even gone to bed yet myself! Got behind in my job this week running kitties to the vet and such, so I am trying to catch up by staying up all night....crazy, huh? I'm about ready to get me a few hours of sleep now!

Til next time....keep on posting those funny stories!!!


Anonymous said...

Merle you all look beautifula dn very happy and smiley.
THe poem is lovely, I'm so pleased you shared.
Have a great weekend.

Sioux said...

Hi, Merle. Wish we had some of that cool weather on this side of the world...100˚F right now!

Love ya!!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thank you, Merle. Alex and I had a grand Independence Day! And thank you for sharing the lovely photographs!

Blessing to you for a lovely weekend.

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I love the pictures of Kathy, your grandchildren and you. Beautiful! I am sure you really enjoyed their visit. And happy birthday to your cousin Bill!

I love the Hug Certificate poem. It's beautiful. The four worms and a lesson was good. And, oh, dear, I don't know what the email said either.

Dear Merle, I enjoyed the funnies as always. And I am glad your blood test results were good. We have had nice weather for Independence Day, but it might rain today. But rain is always welcome. I hope you're having a lovely weekend, and all continues well in your world. Take good care, my friend.



Lady Di Tn said...

I love the hugs poem and you saved the best joke for last. Not unusual. LOL The grandaughters are beauties and the young man a nice looking for a teenager. I always told Puppy that teenagers were the age of useless and worthless. I came to that conclusion when my oldest nephew was one. Thus the term was created. I am glad you had that time with family. I know the visit was fun. Peace

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

The pictures are very lovely =)
You're so blessed by our Lord.