Monday, September 22, 2008

F R O G.

Post 512 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 22nd September, 2008.

Hello My Friends ~~ I hope all is well with you and your families. I am fine and have had a good weekend and start to the week. On Saturday, my neighbour, Helen took me to an Orchid Show. The flowers were magnificent and some lovely colors. My favourite was a
pale purple one with small white spots on it.

On Sunday, my son John came and he had bought me a new mouse for the computer. I was not really thrilled as I liked my small one with flashing colored lights. However he installed it and then brought up some text on my blog AND then he clicked a small button on the side of it and - - - it magnified the text quite a lot. SO then I could see why he got it for me. The scroll is lovely and smooth also. Thanks John.




Then today, my cousin David rang to say he and his wife Valda would be calling, So that was a nice surprise as it is always great to see them. I am a year older than David and when we were kids, I felt a bit superior about that, but at this stage, I think David has the upper hand. Those two live in Melbourne, but do a lot of travelling in a Motor home and have also made a lot of overseas trips.





One of David and myself. That top goes to an op shop next time I wash it.
It was lovely to see you, David and Val. Short visits are better than no visits.

Now for the F R O G story, sent to me by my dear friends, Gwen and Jeanette. Thank you girls.

F R O G ~~ We all need one.

I was told a story about a lady in the hospital who was near death when an area Chaplain came to visit her. This Chaplain was a very young female with long blond hair. She listened to the lady who was ill and left her a small gift for comfort. It was a tiny ceramic
frog. The next day one of the people from the lady's church came to visit. The lady told her friend about the beautiful young Chaplain who had come to visit her. The friend was so impressed with the way the lady had improved and felt the need to talk to the young Chaplain.

In her search to find the young girl, she was repeatedly reassured that the chaplains are never very young and that there was never a girl that fit the description given. Upon returning to the lady in the hospital, a visiting nurse entered the room and noticed the ceramic frog. The nurse
made the comment - "I see you have a guardian angel with you." as she held the little frog. We asked why she made that comment and we were informed that the frog stood for :

Forever Rely On Good friends.

To the world you may be one person
But to one person you might be the world.

Friends are quiet Angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
<><>
Some ponderings - - -

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Practise safe eating --always use condiments.

A shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek to cheek is really a form of floor play

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle cannot stand on its own because it is two tired.

What is the definition of a will?--it's a dead giveaway.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a man with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back for seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with with your debt if you can't budge it.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted -- it taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A midget fortune teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.
<><>
Speaking of senior moments :
"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Ma'am," said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday . . . The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition . . . As she was heard to mutter: "So that's why no one was at church today."
<><>

Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 storey skyscraper. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."

At the 25th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.


"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car !!"
<><> That one was "borrowed" from my friend Patty.


One from the local paper.
Three women, one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men. . . .that night all three will wear a leather bodice, S & M style, stilettos and a mask over their eyes . . . .

After a few days they meet again . . . .

The engaged girlfriend said: "the other night, when my boyfrien came back home he found me in the leather
bodice, stilettos and a mask. He said, "You are the woman of my life, I love you . . . then we made love all night long."

The mistress stated : "Oh yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, a mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just made passionate love all night."

The married one then said " The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night. I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and a mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, and said, "Hey Batman,
What's for dinner?"
<><>

Times were hard. Keith was sacked from his office job and went to work as a waiter in a restaurant. Soon after, one of his fellow redundant office workers came in.
"Fancy seeing you working in a place like this."

"So?" replied Keith, "Fancy you being reduced to having to eat in a dump like this."
<><>

The happy couple proudly displayed all their wedding gifts at the reception = = with an envelope from the groom's father marked 'Cheque for five hundred pounds.'

"Who is that strange man pointing at your father's cheque and laughing?" asked the bride?"
The groom looked at the offending person, blinked and said: "My father's bank manager."
<><>

It is time to get off to bed now, so look after yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 512 ~ ~ ~Monday, 22nd September, 2008.
<><><>

19 comments:

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
The guy who left the key in the car was one to cry about when LOL. I like your new look but of course I would like purple flowers. hee hee The buy a dog or cat was a cute one and very true. It is the first day of fall in TN but will not feel like it until Friday. Been working on getting a big tree from across the farm road going into the fields that the hay men will need to get to in a couple of weeks and also our frig in the house DIED. NUF SAID WHY I HAVE NOT BEEN LEAVING COMMNETS. PEACE

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Dear Merle,
As usual a very nice post. Good you were able to visit with your son and your cousin. As for the top you had on, it looks great to me, looks very comfortable, I would keep it a while longer. Hope you sleep well my friend. Love, Patty

raccoonlover1963 said...

Hello Merle. I'm glad you are feeling better. I always enjoy your post. Today's is no exception. I have seen the FROG one in an email, but in the e-mail it was posted as Forever Rely On God. Good sentiment either way you look at it.
Lisa

Peter said...

This post looks GOOD Merle,(apart from a couple of typos in the last piece) however you did it keep doing that.

Mountain Mama said...

Hi Merle. How fun that you had family and friends to visit. And you are so right, a small visit is better than no visit.
I loved your jokes and as I usually do I found one to send to family and friends.
It sounds like you are having a great week and I pray the rest of it is just as nice.
Love you

Bear Naked said...

Love the joke about the fellow who left the room key in his car.
That is a good one.

Bear((( )))

desert dirt diva said...

they were all good ,the jokes, i just love reading your posts your so awsome!!!!

Gattina said...

Very nice picture of you and your cousin !
So you got a new mouse, sounds interesting, I have never heard of such one. I am happy with my little wireless mouse and my cat Arthur too, lol !

Dave said...

I have to remember not to drink coffee while reading your jokes Merle! *LOL*

Great post as always.. *S*

And yes, your widget does cut my head off doesn't it!

Gramma Ann said...

Hi Merle,

Nice to meet your son and daughter-in-law. I agree a short visit is better then no visit..

I love senior moment jokes. LOL Actually, they aren't always jokes, sometimes they seem to be describing my life. ;)

Have a good day and evening.

Ann

Jeanette said...

Gday Dear Merle, How lovely of Helen to take you to the orchid show, I hope you had your camera with you.
Great Post like all the ponderings , The sunday paper got me tonight.. Take care dear Merle Hope you didnt get that severe dust storm your way, I think im still tasting Dust.. Im off to bed I bowled again today and feeling rather tired looking forwar to a sleep in tomorrow...HEHeHe,, Janxxxx

Christina said...

Good jokes as always. I will send my dad by to check out the "ponderings" as he is a pun lover!

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed reading your post today- lol- those Ponderings were very good!


Your visit with your cousins sounded fun! Happy they came by to spend a little time with you! I liked seeing the pictures> (LOL- You KNOW how I love photos- right!)


Take care,


Junie

mreddie said...

Sounds like your son did a good thing with the new mouse - I'll have to check into that, the print seems to be getting smaller all the time. Visits from kin are a treat, sometimes they don't happen often enough. ec

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I think it is so nice when family drops by—especially bringing gifts.

Puss-in-Boots said...

How nice to have family unexpectedly visit. I love that when it happens.

I like the story about FROG...nice.

Did you get the dust storm, Merle? I hate those things, so messy and the air stinks of dirt.

As for that guy who left the room key in the car...shoot him!

Take care.

Hugs.

Nancy said...

Aren't sons wonderful? I depend on mine to help me at times, too.

It was nice that you got to visit with your cousin and wife, too!

Loved the Buy a Dog joke!!! LOL

BTW, your top looks fine to me! I like the color of it, too. Looks so comfy and I like the design down the front of it.

Have a great weekend now! I am calling it a day now! TIme for me to get a few hours of sleep before the sun comes up! LOL Oh, I forgot, it's supposed to rain the next couple of days....
(((((( HUGS ))))))

audrey` said...

John is a very caring son =)
He bought the special mouse for you.

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