Post 540 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 29th November, 2008.
Hello my Friends ~~ Expect a shorter post tonight as I am tired. All that supervising is
hard to take. My table and chairs are now assembled and sitting in the gazebo. It took
my son John a couple of hours to put them together and now I am very pleased with the results. Thank you very much John, much appreciated. Also Lorraine had a garage sale
over the road, so I went over there a couple of times. She has moved into her lovely new home, and will be sorely missed in this street.
I do hope you all survived Thanksgiving and had a wonderful day with family and friends.
And I hope you are enjoying the weekend. I certainly am, but I am tired.
The new table and chairs installed in the gazebo. The table has a glass top and the chairs
are nice and sturdy, and I can get up out of them, fairly easily.
We decided to leave the chairs in close to the table in case of a lot of rain. It is unlikely
but you never know. We have been fortunate to have had some good rain this month.
My good friend, Sherrill sent me "The Meaning of Life." I hope you enjoy it.
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a lifespan of 20 years.
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10. So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this I will give you a 20 year life-span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this I will give you a life span of 60 years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about 20 and I'll give back the other 40?" And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this I will give you 20 years.
But man said, "Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the dog gave back, and ten the monkey gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat. sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
Some turkey riddles ~ ~ sent to me by my dear friend, Patty. Thank you Patty.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.
What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
Why do turkeys eat so little?
Because they are always stuffed.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What key has legs and can't open doors?
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you at Christmas.
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving."
Little Johnny wrote, "I'm thankful that I'm not a turkey."
Good News and Bad News for a Pastor.
Good News : You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News : You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a Get Well card.
Bad News: The vote passed 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find someone capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same as you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about Ozzy Osbourne, "Desperate Housewives" and "Chainsaw Massacre."
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: She has been appointed the District Supervisor of your denomination's region.
Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to 'decorate' your house.
Enough for this post. Have a great rest of the weekend and I will see you next in December
Take great care of yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all.
Post 540 ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 29th November, 2008.