Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Atheist Couple.

Post 548 ~ ~ Wednesday, 17th December, 2008.

Hello My Friends ~~ I am starting late tonight, so I may not get very far - time will tell.
There seems to be lots of extra jobs at this time. I have my last shopping trip tomorrow,
then expect Geoff and Jo on Friday night. Then a couple of days later, Kathy will come to
pick me up. Busy, busy, busy.

I hope all is well at your place and you have everything ready for the holidays. And I hope
you all have a wonderful Christmas, and enjoy the time with family and friends.

Tonight's story is called "Atheist Couple." It has a nice twist at the end.

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything
about the Lord.

One night, when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the mom right in front of the child.

Then the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all. She was then sent to a foster home. The foster mom was a Christian and took the child to church.

On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mom told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her.

The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?"

The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."
Author Unknown.
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Thank you Margaret for this first joke. All Seniors are not Senile.

An older, white -haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young thing at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweller said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man said, "We'll take it."

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by cheque.
I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds are there and I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon" he said.

Monday morning, the jeweller rang the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know" said the old man. " But let me tell you about my weekend. . ."
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A TV Program Story.
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL are no longer THE YOUHG AND RESTLESS, but have some
NEIGHBOURS and can now share DAYS OF OUR LIVES and are not HOME AND AWAY so
often.
If they GETAWAY it's to BURKE'S BACKYARD with THE SIMPSONS. They don't have
A DEAL OR NO DEAL with BIG BROTHER or other FRIENDS.

Who wants to be a MILLIONAIRE anyway? Maybe DESPARATE HOUSEWIVES do, as they are not ALL SAINTS, you know. They have plenty of SCOPE in the GREAT OUTDOORS and GO TOTALLY WILD in 60 MINUTES with DOC MARTIN, who can now give us a
7.30 REPORT. As we ROVE around we may see THE VICAR OF DIBLEY, who would be
up at SUNRISE attending SONGS OF PRAISE. Perhaps there will be A TOUCH OF FROST
before MIDDAY.

Beware of BORDER SECURITY, near LANDLINE. If there is ENOUGH ROPE there will be no more TALKING HEADS, but a defininite possibility of an increase in MISSING PERSONS. I would like to be one of the SURVIVORS. However, I won't forget who pays THE BILL.
So HAPPY DAYS to all.
By Pat Down.
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Women will never be equal to men untilthey can walk down the street with a bald head,
and a beer gut, and still think thry are sexy.
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A lady picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocer store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No Ma'am, they're dead."
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A lady goes into a pet shop and sees a Parrot for sale for $50 She asks the owner if the parrot talks and he replies Yes. She asks, why the cheap price, and he asys the bird has a few bad habits because it was brought up in a house of ill repute.

She buys the bird and takes it home. She puts it on a perch in the lounge and the bird jokes around and says, "New premises, new Madam."
At 4 o'clock, the two teenage daughters arrive home from school. The bird looks around and says, "New premises, new Madam, new ladies."

At 6pm the husband arrives from the office and the bird repeat
s "new premises, new madam, new ladies" and then says "G'day, Kevin."
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My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, buys me a mood ring the other day
so he'd be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I am in a good mood, it turns green.
When i'm in a bad mood,, it leaves a bloody red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time, he will buy me diamonds.
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Well, that's it for tonight. Look after yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Take care, until next time. Cheers, Merle.

Post 548 ~ ~ Wednesday, 17th December, 2008.
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27 comments:

Sioux said...

Hi, Merle. The Atheist Story is lovely. Sounds like you have been having a very busy pre-Christmas time. I have passed along the award, and I thank you very much for it!

Gramma Ann said...

Hello Merle,

I remember the mood rings, I even had one myself. But I never left a red mark on his forehead. hee, hee.

The women and equal until bald head and beer belly, made me a chuckle.

Have a nice visit with your family this week.

Ann

Dreadnought said...

Hi Merle, thanks for telling me about the Tomatoes, I will look out for that variety here. I hope you have a great Christmas too. Best wishes, Bob.

Winifred said...

Thanks for these, they're very nice stories.

Well first day of summer, that's nice. We never got one. A summer that is! We always manage to have a winter though, funny isn't it!

Margaret Cloud said...

Merle you are the best, I love to read your post it always makes me LOL. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a safe one.

Gledwood said...

Have a brillant Xmas if I don't see you before then...

Jack K. said...

Maybe the chap with mood rings on his "mind" should have visited with the chap at the jewelry store. Or not.

Very funny stories.

Have a good visit with all.

linda may said...

Yes I know those rings, you can buy them for $1 at the $2 shop. He he, and that is probably why they leave a red mark. Very good.
The atheist story is lovely. Hey! according to my spell check that word is another one breaking the I before E rule of spelling. I have found a few of those. :)
Merry Christmas mate.

Beth E. said...

Thank you so much for commenting on my blog! I enjoy the opportunity of meeting new people. What a treat to have you visiting from Australia!

This is a great post...I really got a chuckle out of the mood ring joke and the expensive ring story.

Please visit me again, anytime!

Blessings to you...

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yes, The Atheists is a nice story. The jokes are great, as usual, especially the one with all the tv show titles...someone with lots of spare time??

Rhi said...

Thanks for the laughs, as always. I know you have a great many awards, but I'd love to pass on another to you. It's called the "Honest Scrap Award" and the rules and information can be found at My Blog. Thanks for sharing, and hope to hear from you soon.

Peter said...

G'day Merle, I thought I'd better say hello in case I missed you later on, thanks for the good thoughts for Vicki, and the rest of us, I hope you have a great Christmas... chances are I won't be seeing you any where near as soon as I'd thought.
All the best, see you when ever.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Very nice and inspirational story, Merle. Thank you.

Dave said...

*laughing* Great post Merle.... Happy Summer to you! *S*

lili11 said...

Wow ... I love what you posted here. Nice!

Nancy said...

Hello dear Merle!

Loved the atheist story! Very touching! As always, I enjoyed all of your jokes!

Sounds like you will have a happy, busy holiday! Enjoy!

Merry CHRISTmas to you and yours!

(((((( HUGS ))))))

carl h. sr. said...

Hi Merle,I enjoyed your post.
And I hope you will not be too busy to enjoy your Christmas Season!

Lady Di Tn said...

Merry Christmas to you too.
I guess young women should not mess with old men. LOL
Great story. God does work in mysteries ways. Peace to you and yours.

Michelle said...

Hi Merle hope you are well :) just stopping by to wish you a merry christmas and happy new year

M :)

xx

wazza said...

Gidday Merle,

I've been away from blogging for a while now, but when I heard that Van Johnson had recently passed away I thought I should do a post as I quite enjoyed his movies. Now that I've re-started I'll next do a couple of posts on Peter and my trip to Victoria. Have a lovely Xmas.

carl h. sr. said...

Merle,I'm a little worried after hearing about that plane crash.
I saw some photos and they have the nice fences like you do.
Just a hello to say you are OK would be very nice!
Peace to you and yours,
carl

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle.. Hope your having a lovely time with your Visitors. and have now finished your shopping. Ive only got to get fresh veg. and salads will do that early in the week.
The Atheists is a nice story.. and plenty of laughs,, gosh I had a mood ring many moons ago along with many others.. Take great care dear Merle and have a lovely Christmas with the family... Love Janxxx

Christina said...

I love the atheist story, and LOL at the parrot joke! Have a great day!!

Mountain Mama said...

Love the little girl story. And the jokes are great. I especially like the one about the dead turkey. HAHAHA
Time is passing quickly and it seems you have things under control for Christmas. It's so nice to have family come.
I've been baking cookies the past few days and have more to do tomorrow but at least my shopping and wrapping are all done.
We have about 8 inches of snow and more expected throughout the next several days. It has been very cold, down to four degrees. I made chicken soup tonight and it's really good.

Take care Merle and enjoy your company.
Hugs

Annie said...

The aetheist story was very moving. I hope some non-believer somewhere, reads this and receives hope that there is a Great Protector out there for all of us. Merry Christmas, Merle, and don't run yourself too ragged.
Annie

GutsyWriter said...

What a great blog you have. Thanks for the lively fell and comments and jokes.

audrey` said...

HaHa! There is a lot jokes =) I love the joke from Margaret. HaHa!