Post 548 ~ ~ Wednesday, 17th December, 2008.
Hello My Friends ~~ I am starting late tonight, so I may not get very far - time will tell.
There seems to be lots of extra jobs at this time. I have my last shopping trip tomorrow,
then expect Geoff and Jo on Friday night. Then a couple of days later, Kathy will come to
pick me up. Busy, busy, busy.
I hope all is well at your place and you have everything ready for the holidays. And I hope
you all have a wonderful Christmas, and enjoy the time with family and friends.
Tonight's story is called "Atheist Couple." It has a nice twist at the end.
There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything
about the Lord.
One night, when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the mom right in front of the child.
Then the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all. She was then sent to a foster home. The foster mom was a Christian and took the child to church.
On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mom told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her.
The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?"
The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."
Thank you Margaret for this first joke. All Seniors are not Senile.
An older, white -haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young thing at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweller said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man said, "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by cheque.
I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds are there and I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon" he said.
Monday morning, the jeweller rang the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know" said the old man. " But let me tell you about my weekend. . ."
A TV Program Story.
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL are no longer THE YOUHG AND RESTLESS, but have some
NEIGHBOURS and can now share DAYS OF OUR LIVES and are not HOME AND AWAY so
If they GETAWAY it's to BURKE'S BACKYARD with THE SIMPSONS. They don't have
A DEAL OR NO DEAL with BIG BROTHER or other FRIENDS.
Who wants to be a MILLIONAIRE anyway? Maybe DESPARATE HOUSEWIVES do, as they are not ALL SAINTS, you know. They have plenty of SCOPE in the GREAT OUTDOORS and GO TOTALLY WILD in 60 MINUTES with DOC MARTIN, who can now give us a
7.30 REPORT. As we ROVE around we may see THE VICAR OF DIBLEY, who would be
up at SUNRISE attending SONGS OF PRAISE. Perhaps there will be A TOUCH OF FROST
Beware of BORDER SECURITY, near LANDLINE. If there is ENOUGH ROPE there will be no more TALKING HEADS, but a defininite possibility of an increase in MISSING PERSONS. I would like to be one of the SURVIVORS. However, I won't forget who pays THE BILL.
So HAPPY DAYS to all.
By Pat Down.
Women will never be equal to men untilthey can walk down the street with a bald head,
and a beer gut, and still think thry are sexy.
A lady picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocer store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No Ma'am, they're dead."
A lady goes into a pet shop and sees a Parrot for sale for $50 She asks the owner if the parrot talks and he replies Yes. She asks, why the cheap price, and he asys the bird has a few bad habits because it was brought up in a house of ill repute.
She buys the bird and takes it home. She puts it on a perch in the lounge and the bird jokes around and says, "New premises, new Madam."
At 4 o'clock, the two teenage daughters arrive home from school. The bird looks around and says, "New premises, new Madam, new ladies."
At 6pm the husband arrives from the office and the bird repeats "new premises, new madam, new ladies" and then says "G'day, Kevin."
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, buys me a mood ring the other day
so he'd be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I am in a good mood, it turns green.
When i'm in a bad mood,, it leaves a bloody red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time, he will buy me diamonds.
Well, that's it for tonight. Look after yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Take care, until next time. Cheers, Merle.
Post 548 ~ ~ Wednesday, 17th December, 2008.