Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Just Do It.

Post 545 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 10th December, 2008.

Hi Everyone ~ ~ I am late starting tonight, so I hope I can stay awake enough to do a decent post. Thank you for the comments, which I will get around to, hopefully, tomorrow. I hope you are all keeping well
and enjoying your lives and your week is going well for you.

I have a short piece tonight called "Just Do It." Author Unknown.

Just walk it.
Just talk it.
Just preach it.
Just teach it.
Just tell it.
Just live it.
Just give it.
Just wear it.
Just share it.
Just shout it.
Just sing it.
Just proclaim it.
Just prove it.
JUST DO IT.
Live for Jesus.
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First joke tonight was sent by my dear friend, Linda. Thank you.

It is called "First Time Sex."
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out
and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic. but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he would like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or the family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be busy, it being his first time and akk,

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I am so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over to the boyfriend and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."
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A woman went to her doctor's office where she was seen by a new
young doctor. After about four minutes in the exzmination room, the
doctor tells her she is pregnant. She bursts out, screaming and rad down the hall-way.

An older doctor stops her and asks what the problem was. She told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax
Then he marched down the hallway to the first doctor and demanded:
"What's the matter with you? Mrs Smith is 63 years old, has four grown children, seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued writing on his clipboard and without lookeing up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
<><>

An Australian and a Kiwi man were having a drink at the bar, when the Aussie asked the Kiwi, "If I went to your house while you were at work and slept with your wife, and she has my baby, would that make us related?"

The Kiwi thought for a moment then replied, "Mate , I don't know if it would make
us related, but it would make us even!"
<><>

Fifty years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man was
drafted by the Army. On the first day of Basic training, the army iaaued him a comb. That afternoon, the army barber sheared off all
of his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years,
<><>

Well, as expected, the sandman is catching up with me, so I will get off to bed, so until next time, take great care, my friends,
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.


Post 545 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 10th December, 2008.
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12 comments:

Jack K. said...

Hope you slept well.

Dave said...

*LOL* Loved the last joke Merle (and the rest)

Sleep well dear friend.

Rosezilla said...

Poor Herman! Thanks, Merle, for the laugh today. and i love the Just Do It poem too! The pharmacist dad was great.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yes, I can understand why Herman would disappear.

BTW Merle, I must apologise for not acknowledging the award you gave me. Thank you so much, it's a kind thought but very remiss of me not to have thanked you sooner. Mea culpa...grin.

It's a very hot one here today...storm tonight for sure.

Take care. Hugs.

Sioux said...

Hi, Merle. Hope all is well. Here in Texas we are experiencing winter with lots and lots of wind...30 mph. And we're getting ready for Christmas! And our grandson's college graduation!

Pearl said...

Hope you had a restful night. Spring and Summer sound so wonderful right now...It is a bit old here.
Love your jokes. The one about the boy and the pharmacist was a hoot.

Take good care,

Jeanette said...

Gday dear Merle, Hope you got a good nights rest, Great jokes Dont get the Hiccups. hehehe.
Oh poor Herman ...
Take care Merle dont stay up too late. im off to bed now....Nightxxxxx

Jim said...

Happy Summer Merle! Our summer, spring, fall, and winter always come on the 20th, 21st, or 22nd of the month with a solstice or _______(?)____ .

They cut my hair and did a root canal when I first went into the army. They weren't issuing those jock straps way back then.
:-), cheers,
..
BTW, lots of snow in Houston and east and north, but none to stay around up here (I blogged a bit about that this morning).
..

Rhi said...

So glad I stumbled upon your blog! Thanks for the laughs, I'll be back to visit soon.

Rinkly Rimes said...

A good laugh (and poetry inspiration) from you again today.

linda may said...

G'Day Merle,
Michael just put that award you gifted me with up on my blog. Thanks muchly.You always make me smile.
Love Linda

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

I love your title "Just Do It" =)
Take care (((HUGS)))