Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Child's ABC s.

Post 561 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 21st January, 2009.

Hi Everyone ~~ Another hot day today ~~ enough said. I did some laundry and cooked some meals.
These things have to be done and I was already hot.

Congratulations to President Obama ~~ what a wonderful day for America and the World. I wish
him every success as he has a huge job in front of him. It cannot be fixed in a short space of time
but we are all hopeful that good changes will come in time. He gives everyone a hopeful and optimistic
feeling. Please God, keep him safe and strong.

Almost as important to one blogger friend, Mountain Mama is having her birthday tomorrow,
22nd January. I hope you have a wonderful day Bev and many Happy Returns.

The next day it is time for Jeanette' s daughter, Cazz. Happy birthday Carol for the 23rd.

Tonight's story is a nice short little one, but it is nice. Author Unknown.

A CHILD's ABC.

A grandfather overheard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in
reverent, hushed tones.

"What are you doing ?" he asked.

"I'm praying Grandpa," she said, "I can't think of the right words, so
I just say all the letters. God will put them together for me, 'cause he knows what I'm thinking."
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First joke tonight came from my friend Warren. Thanks mate, I doubt if you will win any
female friends from this little effort.

One day, long, long ago . . . .
there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch


But this was a long time ago . . . .
and it was just that one day.

The End.
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I have posted this one before, but without the picture.

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasion, WHITE baby boy.

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "Well Mr Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I
think we will name him . . .



SUM TING WONG.
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One from my dear friend Lady Di. Thank you Dianne.

TWO LITTLE BOYS.

After a hardy rain storm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window.

The older of the two, a five year old lad, gra
bbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.

As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.

"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?" she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.

"We were just playing 'church' mommy," he said.
"And I just baptized him...in the name of the Father, the Son and in....the hole- he -goes."
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An Irish lady was excited to find out that she was to have twins. Everything progressed smoothly
when unfortunately she had a car accident and had to be put into an induced coma.
During this time, the twins were born. and her brother named them.

Not long after, she came out of the coma, she asked the doctor, "What did he name the girl?" "Denise," came the reply.

"Oh, that's not so bad, I quite like that. What did he name the boy?"
"Denephew."
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A married man left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.

After a few hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. "How woud you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?"... The
husband couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up smiled and said, "That would suit me fine."

Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see his wife.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of his left eye.
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A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas,
playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door of the house. Proceeding into entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was blaring loudly on a cartoon channel, and the family room was
strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was wide open, a broken glass was under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed upstairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for is wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met by a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him and smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes ," was his increulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
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A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to 4, but I counted to 10. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10."
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked. "Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day, the girl came skipping home fromschool.
"MUMMY, Mummy," she yelled. "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said up to G. See A,B,C.D.E.F.G.."
"Very good ," said her mother.
"Is it because, i am blonde Mummy?" "Yes it's because you're blonde."

The next day the giame skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were in the gym class today and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these." She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"No, Honey. It's because you're 24."
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Time to close for tonight. Take great care of yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 561 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 21st January, 2009.
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14 comments:

daffy said...

Good Morning Merle! It's morning here... a chilly one it is too but no snow. (thank goodness!)
I hoe you are well, this post cheered me up no end, I especially loved The Child's ABC.... it got a big 'awwwww' from me.
Stay cool Merle!
love n hugs
Daffy. xx

Dave said...

*LOL* Great post as always Merle... had me laughing hard this morning! *S*

Gina E. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gina E. said...

I liked your congratulatory message to Obama, Merle. We caught him on Fox News in the afternoon (our time) dancing with his lovely wife, and MIL and I both had tears running down our cheeks. We said the same as you - may God keep him safe so he can achieve what he has said he wants to do. If they let him live, I'm sure he will.

Rosezilla said...

Wow, Merle, I had a lot to catch up on. They were great! So many good ones today I hardly know which ones to mention especially! Thanks for the laughs and the thoughtful ones too! And for your well wishes for our country. We can use your prayers, that's for sure!

Winifred said...

I'm always sure of a smile here.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I've post about the Honest scrap award on my blog.

Thank you again for the award.

Janice~

GutsyWriter said...

Hi Merle,

I sent you two awards in my posting today. If you have time to respond, great, if not, don't worry. I just thought you deserved them. Take Care,
Sonia aka GutsyWriter.

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Once again, you got yourself some funnies. LOL Enjoyed them all. Loved the Grandfather listening to his Granddaughter saying her prayers. Sleep well.

Puss-in-Boots said...

That little girl saying her prayers was cute, Merle. Kids have such faith.

However, I'm so glad I'm not a blonde...I reckon I'd end up with quite a complex from all these jokes...lol.

Have a good weekend, Merle.

Hugs.

Jim said...

Hi Merle. Your blonde joke was nice, I had forgotten the punch line. A mother of three should keep busy or get a job, don't you think?

Will wish Cazz a Happy Birthday, I see by the post above that I am already late.
..

Pearl said...

Needed a smile so naturally I came over for a visit. You have a gift of cheering people.
Hope you are doing well. Take good care. Sending you hugs.

Jeanette said...

Gday Dear Merle,,I see your been busy looking up your Birthday Book.. Carol thanks you for her birhday wishes..
Phewwww it has been hot.
Great post, Lots of laughs tonight. loved the Girl saying her prayers and the two boys The things kids do and say..
well my dear im off to get a cuppa and watch some more tennis ..
Love Janxxx

audrey` said...

"Child's ABC" is so encouraging. God always knows about our hearts'desires. All thanks be to God =)