Post 571 ~ ~ Monday, 9th February, 2009.
Hello my friends ~~ I hope all is well at your place. I am OK and thank you so much for those showing concern, both for myself and the rest of the people who are affected by the terrible fires we have had, and are still having. The smoke is all over the sky, and tonight the sun was a bright red. There have been 131 lives lost and many, many homes destroyed. I should be safe here in the city of Shepparton as it is an hour or so's drive to
most fires, at Beechworth and Bendigo. And Seymour where the first fire started.
Fortunately my family are not near fires in Princetown and Sunbury.
They expect more deaths when they can get into the areas, and there are over 5000 people homeless and in tent cities and recreational places. The public are being very helpful, which is wonderful and they usually are when there is a disaster. This is the very worst we have had and I guess the heatwave made everything tinder dry and then there was no stopping the huge flames that people had no chance to escape. I have spent most of the two days since Sunday and today watching the TV reports and reading the papers and have shed many tears, I am not ashamed to say. This will not be my usual bright post, I'm afraid.
We have a Birthday Girl among us.The 9th of February is Hootin' Anni's birthday. I truly hope that you have a wonderful day Anni and many Happy returns.
My friend, Warren from Wazzas Place sent me an e mail asking if I was safe and sent me a couple of jokes. Thank you Warren, very much. It is lucky you and Peter visited Victoria in November, because it has changed a lot. No fires down near Kathy's place so that is still OK. It is always cooler there and greener. Thanks for the jokes, and your concern.
Putting Your Affairs in Order.
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer,
and you'd best put your affairs in order." The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter was waiting.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini."
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs
and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends.
who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS.: The friends were
aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS. Why did you do that?"
"Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, Putting your Affairs in Order.
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders. The man said, "A hamburger, fries and a coke, and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke please." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same. Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This became routine until the two enter again, "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same, " says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says "That will be $32.62. Once again the man pulls out the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The witress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well,: said the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered my two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.
"That's brilliant," says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you will always be as rich as you want for as long as you live."
"That's right. Whether it is a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the money is always there."
"What's with the ostrich?" the waitress asks.
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chcik with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
One more from my good friend, Nancy. Thank you Nancy. Lipstick in School.
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with
a unique problem. A number of 12 year old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
He explained that all those lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who has to clean the mirrors every night. (You can just imagine the yawns of the little
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took a long handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet and cleaned the mirror.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers . . . and there are educators.
That is all for tonight. I hope to do better next time. Take good care of youurselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 571 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 9th February, 2009.