Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Meadow Lark Sang.

Post 575 ~ ~ Wednesday, 18th February, 2009.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope all is well in your part of the world. The fire situation has settled
down al lot. There are still a few fires burning in inaccessible areas, like forests, but no towns threatened at the moment. Unfortunately, a vlounteer fire fighter who came from Canberra was killed when a big tree fell on him, so that has been sad for the firies. There was a huge fire in Canberra about 4 or 5 years ago and we sent Victorians to help, so he wanted to repay us. So sad for his wife and 3 kids. That brings the death toll to 201, and they don't expect that to rise much higher. Thank God for that.

I posted my last post about 10.30pm, and John rang at 11pm to say he was home, so that is always a relief. He came for his dogs the next day and was very tired.
Yesterday was my shopping day and I made the mistake of doing heaps of cooking in the
afternoon and was washing dishes at all hours of the night. SO I have decided not to cook after shopping any more as I was really beat and could hardly walk. I am OK today.

My story tonight is called "A Meadow Lark Sang." Author Unknown. I hope you enjoy it.

The child whispered, "God, speak to me." And a meadow lark sang. The child did not hear.

So the child yelled, "God, speak to me." And the thunder rolled across the sky. But the child did not listen.

The child looked around and said, "God, let me see you." and a star shone brightly, but the child did not notice.

And the child shouted, "God, show me a miracle. And a life was born but the child did not know.

So the child cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here."
Whereupon God reached down and touched the child.

But the child brushed the butterfly away and walked away unknowingly.
First joke came from my dear friend Linda May. Thank you my friend.

Please be advised that as your wives age, it is harder for them to maintain the same quality of house-keeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Dave. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Martha. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took early retirement in April, it became necessary for Martha to get a full time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually got home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work, and although she knows how hungry I am, she rests for an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically
reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. Telling people what they ought to do is one of my strong points.
(note from Merle - - I think he is living dangerously.)

Also now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement, and sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this, just as long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening. I'm willing to overlook her shortcomings in this area. Unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to the Wednesday and Saturday poker club, or to Tuesday's and Thursday's bowling. I'll tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming and dusting. If I had a really bad day on the course and it was wet and muddy and my clubs are a mess, I let her clean them, you know, getting the grit off the
grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces. Since my golf bag is heavy, I lift it out of the trunk for her.

Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I had
to tell her that I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished. Another symptom of aging is
complaining I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.
But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her anyway (if you know what I mean.) I like to think that tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass if fresh squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while, And as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock. That way we can talk until I fall asleep. I know I probably look like a saint in the way I support Martha, but I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult, some will find it impossible. Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this letter, I will consider it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Regards, Dave.

Dave died suddenly Thursday, May 19th. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Golf Driver rammed up his rectum with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Martha was arrested, but after the jury read this letter, they accepted her defense that he accidently sat on it. She was released from custody on Friday.
Have to find some short jokes after that.
These were sent By my dear friend, Pauline, Jeanette's sister.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetary plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year."
And that is when the fight started . . . . .

My wife walked into the den and asked "What's on the TV? I replied, "Dust."
And that's how the fight started . . . .

A woman is standing nude , looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's when the fight started . . . .

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, " I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started. . . .

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time,she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started . . . .

My wife and I are watching "Who wants to be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No." she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I saidm "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then that's when the fight started . . . .

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started . . . .

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He asked, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started. . . .

A woman was standing in before the bedroom mirror, admiring herself in her new outfit before going out. She posed this way and that, befroe her husband who looked on with disinterest, then remarked : "Your butt is size of a three burner barbacue."

Later that evening tucked up and cosy in bed, he leant over and tapped her on the shoulder, and said, "How about it?" She replied, "No thanks, it's not worth lighting up the whole barbecue for half a sausage."

What do you call an intelligent, goodlooking, sensitive man?
A rumour.

A few quotes sent by my good friend Nancy. Thank you very much dear Nancy.

The best mirror is an old friend. ~ ~ George Herbert.

You can always tell a real friend: When you've made a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. ~ ~ Laurence J. Peter.

A true frien is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked. ~ ~ Bernard Meltzer.

Well, time to say Goodnight for now if I am to get to bed by midnight. I hope your week is going well and life is good. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 575 ~ ~ Wednesday, 18th February, 2009.


Winifred said...

Love that barbecue story. Take care of yourself Merle, don't overdo it. There's always tomorrow!

Gramma Ann said...

G'day Merle,

I am glad to hear the fires are under control, but sad to hear about so many deaths.

As always you started my day with a smile and a some chuckles.

Have a great week-end!


Nancy said...

Hi Merle!

Glad the fires are dwindling. What a senseless loss of so many lives!

I do the same thing you do, Merle! I shop and then come home and cook or work til I caxn barely walk! When will we learn? ha-ha

I loved the Meadow Lark story! How true it is! God is all around us if we just open our eyes, ears and hearts to Him.

Your jokes crack me up, especially that BBQ one!!! LOL And I don't even remember sending you those quotes. Guess I am getting forgetful....LOL

Have a great week now!

((( HUGS )))

Jim said...

Wow! You sure had it out for us guys on this post!
That Nicole is really cute. I can see that I would need to be reincarnated as a hunk like grandson Scotty to ever get to know someone like her. Better stick with what I've got.
BTW, I like your 'new' header picture.

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
So glad to know the fires are now under control. Such a totally senseless loss of life. That firefighter is a true hero.
I'm sure you were relieved to know John got home safely.
Thanks for all you share to brighten our days with a smile. Love the Meadowlark story!
love and ((hugs))

caspersmom said...

Well, it looks like I'm not the only one that really liked the barbecue joke. That was really good.

I also say that the Lord is always around us and shows us His beauty if only we look at it.

So glad to hear the fires are getting more under control. It is always so sad the amount of homes destroyed and the loss of life. Will Pray for the families of the ones who lost their lives.

bigbikerbob said...

Hi, Great to hear the fires are more or less under control now. As usual a great post with more good jokes.

Patty said...

Good afternoon Merle,
Yes, shopping and going home to cook some extra items for later is too much in one day. Anymore by the time I grocery shop, haul them to the car, unload my cart into the trunk of the car, drive home, unload the bags, put the items away, I'm ready for a short rest before tackling lunch. I'm like poor Martha. But believe me he would have set on that golf club sooner then that if he lived around here. LOL

I myself have all ready been so tired, I felt like I couldn't take another step, knees and hips were hurting so bad, but amazing enough after a few hours sleep, they usually feel so much better.

Enjoyed your post again, but then I usually do. So sorry to hear about the fireman. I do hope they find the person or persons that have caused all of this damage and give them some sort of punishment that will make someone else that might be thinking of doing something so stupid to think twice.

Good night, stay cool and sleep well tonight. Love, Patty

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle,Take your own advise and Please dont cook after you have been shopping put it all away and start cooking your lovely meals the next morning while you still feeling fresh as a daisy..
Giggle Giggle!!! to all the jokes.. Im still feeling tired after the early morning start yesterday was up at 6 to get the club bus 7.30 to go to the Australian Bowls open In shep. was a great day and a long day we saw a lot of good bowlers didnt get back to club to near 7.30pm ,,
Take care dear Merle Love Janxxxx..

By the way the Aust bowls Open will be shown live on ABC channel 2 Saturday the paper say 2pm till 6pm the bowls web site list it as starting at 1pm live..
so my seat is booked in front of the my lounge.A relaxing day comming up...

linda may said...

G'Day Merlie Girl,
That fire fighter lived in the suburb next door to mine (Gilmore). So sad loosing him like that. After the Junee fires , about a month later, one of the water bomber pilots who saved our town crashed his plane and was killed while fighting another fire near Junee. Terrible.
And then the fight started... I have read some of those before, but not these ones, v.funny.
Take it easy, there is no hurry and no rule that says you have to do everything at once. ;)Though I should talk I am guilty of overdoing it at times too. Usually results in me getting unstoppable cramps in my legs at night and/or not being able to sleep.

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle,
I do my weekly Safeway shopping after 11 pm on Wednesday nights, because there is hardly anyone in the store, I can park right outside the door, and there are no queues at the checkout. But when I get home, I have to unpack everything, and I'm stuffed by the time I've finished! Every week I wonder why I do this to myself, but the following week, I'm there again!
I smiled at your jokes as usual, but am still sad at tonight's news update about Wilson's Prom National park. How much more of Victoria is going to go up in smoke? :-<

Big Dave T said...

So glad to here the fire threat has subsided over there. That was quite the news worldwide.

I was hoping you would give us a hint as to what you were cooking up. It usually sounds so good.

Sometimes I have to be careful what I say to the missus here about her own cooking. Like when I say, "Are you making anything good?" That's how the fight usually starts.

Lady Di Tn said...

The long joke had a perfect ENDING. lol
One of the comedians I believe it is Bill Inval(misspelled) does a comedy routine with thats when the fight started. But I never heard him tell the Barbacue one. heehee
Glad John is back safely and has picked up his fuzzies. Peace

Jack K. said...

None are so blind as those who will not see.

raccoonlover1963 said...

Hello dear Merle.
Glad to hear that the fires are finally under control.
Love the jokes, especially the ones that end with and that's when the fight started! Dave was pretty funny too!
Take care my friend.

Lucy Stern said...

Merle, so glad that the fire threat has subsided...and so sad to hear about the fireman's death...We had an ice storm in the US about a month ago and a policeman was killed by a falling tree....Those trees are dangerous!

Sounds like Dave got what he I would have killed him a lot sooner.

Margaret Cloud said...

Glad the fire is settling a little. That over=sensitive wife one, I would of stuffed it up there sooner. nice jokes as always, take care friend and have a nice weekend.

Pamela said...

You could have just posted the first one about the meadowlark etc - and I would have been a happy camper. That was beautiful.

Mountain Mama said...

Thank GOd the fires are contained. I pray they are soon completely done.
I feel so bad for the families who hav elost s much, especially those who have lost loved ones. What a heart ache!

Your story and jokes are great Merle.
I think you are right about not shopping and cooking on the same day.
Thats too much for us these days!
I canned applesauce today. I had some Fuji's left from last years harvest that needed to be used so I am pretty worn out tonight myself.
You take care now and get some rest. That's what I'm going to do.
Love you dear

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yes, there are some men around like the fictitious Dave, Merle. Fortunately not as many as nice helpful guys.

Glad the fires have retreated but the Victorian Coroner has ordered another search for bodies and more remains have been who knows what the final count will be. So sad.

Take care. Hugs.

audrey` said...

You've the perfect plan, Merle. Do less cooking on your shopping days. Please take very good care of yourself, my dearest friend (((HUGS)))

Dave said...

*ROTFL* No, that Dave is definitely NOT me!!!