Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Goldberg Airconditioner.

Post 594 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 30th April, 2009.

Hi Everyone ~~ We have had some very cold weather down here, coldest days for fifty years, Zero to -3 below and some frosty starts to the days. Top temps around 12 C.
There has been an early start to the snow season up on the mountains, so they are happy
at the chalets. I hope your weather is being kind to you, wherever you are.
This Swine flu sounds awful, so I hope it won't get to the pandemic stage. Let us all be
very careful and wish those affected all get well soon.

I have the story about the Goldberg Air-Conditioner. My friend Jim sent this to me.Thanks.

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram and Max, invented the first automobile
airconditioner. On July 17th, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary
into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exiting innovation in the auto
industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air-
conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them
$3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused. saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the
recognition by having a label, "The Goldberg Airconditioner," on the dashboard of each car
in which it was installed.

Now the old man Ford was more than just a little anti- Semitic, and there was no way he was going to the Goldbergs name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about 2 hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And to this day, all Ford air conditioners show == Lo, Norm, Hi and Max on the controls.
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One from my friend Warren. Thanks for "Gotta love Drunk People."

A man and his wife were awakened at 3.00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man
gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pounding rain,
asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, it is 3.00 am in the morning. He slams the door and
returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3.00 am in the morning and pouring rain."
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months
ago when we broke down, and those people helped us" "I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out in the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband, soaking wet.
"Yes, please." .comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing." replies the drunk.
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Thank you Patty for the next joke.

Upon reaching 65, Dick decided to retire. After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitatedd with him, She suggested he go and do something to occupy
his time, ike join a club or get a hobby.

Dick abliged and went out for a couple of hours. When he got home, his wife asked about
his day and he repied, "Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys.
Oh, and yeah, I joined a parachute club."

"What? Are you nuts? You are 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of
airplanes?"
"Yeah, I even got a membership card."
"Old man, you need glasses. This is a membership card in a Prostiute club, not a
Parachute Club."

"Oh, great. Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week."
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My mother began getting calls from men who misdialled the similar number of an escort service, Mum who had had her number for years asked the telephone company to
chanfe the organisation's number, They refused. The calls kept coming.

Finally, Mum began telling the gentlemen who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the escort service voluntarily changed its number.
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Soon after we were married, my husband Paul, stopped wearing his weddng ring.
"Why don't you ever wear your ring?" I asked.
"It cuts off my circulation." Paul replied.

"I know," I said. "It's supposed to."
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A friend got into a hospital lift with a porter wheeling an elaborate machine. The device
had several pipes , dials and gauges. My friend remarked that she would hate to be
connected to such a machine.

"So would I," said the porter. "IT's a carpet shampooer."
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Sign in a Police Station __ In God we trust -- Others we polygraph.
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Bye for now my friends. Take good care of yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle,

Post 594 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 30th April, 2009.
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14 comments:

Margaret Cloud said...

It is still chilly here and rainy. I liked the Henry Ford story. I really lol at the drunks story, that was great. All good as usual. Have a nice weekend my friend, take care and be safe.

Jack K. said...

Spring is here and so are the rain storms. Fortunately, there are a few days of sun between the rainy days. No complaints from me, but the lawn is getting quite long.

Liked the jokes as usual. Thank goodness we don't have a swing in our back yard. lol

Parachute club, Hmmmm?

Puss-in-Boots said...

That Goldberg air conditioner story is a good one, Merle. Our weather has been cold too, not like yours...heavens, I wouldn't survive that. The day temps are beautiful but at night it's rather chilly.

Hope all stays well with you, Merle. Don't freeze your tootsies off in all that cold weather.

Hugs.

Pear tree cottage! said...

Merle, this week has been the coldest ever recorded for the month of April in this part of the woods! gosh even our blue healer is upset with the weather.

I loved the stories and now keep warm and well out of the weather too.

Lee-ann

Dave said...

Great post as always Merle, loved the Goldberg Air Conditioner! *S*

Beth E. said...

These are great jokes...so glad to know the history behind the car air conditioners! Hahaha!

Granny on the Web said...

Great post as usual Merle. So it is chilly down there is it, just warming up here we are all glad to experience!
Love all your jokes.
Love Granny

Christina said...

I love the one about the escort service.

Kila said...

Hello, Merle!

We are just coming out of a very cold winter. I hope yours won't be so bad! It's spring here, with temps in the 50's F during the day. We are now staying above freezing at night.

Take care!

Pamela said...

Kept me laughing here again today lady!!

ps. we had a nasty bug at our house 3 weeks ago. I think we already had that flu. (who knows. My hubby was awful sick.)

Patty said...

Dear Merle,
Sitting here chuckling to myself about the carpet cleaning machine. I also swiped the car air conditioning story and will be using it in the next week or two and explained I swiped it from my friend Merle, and fixed it so they can click and come to your blog.

Today turned out to be a beautiful day. We've had rain off and all all week. Today sounded like an orchestra of lawnmowers going in the neighborhood. Of course I was dumb enough to mow Wed. morn, (front yard) between rains and the back yard Thurs. morn between rains. Of course I then had to clean my mower since it was covered with wet grass. But I didn't have to do it today and could enjoy the nice day. It got up to around 63F, and sun has been shining all day.

My 9 year old Granddaughter is out here in the office, playing, she has about four dolls laying around, she's feeding them and changing their clothes. I heard this loud burp and thought it was her and wondered why she didn't say excuse me, then realized it was suppose to be her dolly she was burping after feeding it. She told ne she has a day care, then she said, well actually their parents were all killed in a car accident, and I said, well then you have a children's home and they can be adopted. And she said no, they aren't for sale and I said, no you're not selling them, they can be adopted, and she said, no I'm keeping them all. So now she's burping them all, she can make loud burps and small burps depending on the size of the baby. She's got quite an imagination.

Well it's almost time for supper/dinner. It will be left overs tonight. Myself, I'm not hungry. Still full from the cook out we had at lunch time. But thank goodness my husband likes a bowl of soup and a sandwich at supper time. Granddaughter will have either left over mac and cheese or spaghetti. Her Mom is on her own. LOL I'm sure we'll be having pop corn later this evening as a snack.

Hope it hasn't been too cold there. And if it is, hope you're able to stay inside and keep warm. Sleep well.

Love,
Patty

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I read the Ford joke to my husband and we both got a big kick out of it.

I saw on the news that Australia was having a record cold temps.

Take care and stay warm.

Janice~

audrey` said...

Wow! The temperature is so cold in May. Please keep yoursself warm, Merle.

Rhapsody B. said...

Blessings Merle, just stopped by to say hello. Take care and stay blessed.

Nice entry