Post 594 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 30th April, 2009.
Hi Everyone ~~ We have had some very cold weather down here, coldest days for fifty years, Zero to -3 below and some frosty starts to the days. Top temps around 12 C.
There has been an early start to the snow season up on the mountains, so they are happy
at the chalets. I hope your weather is being kind to you, wherever you are.
This Swine flu sounds awful, so I hope it won't get to the pandemic stage. Let us all be
very careful and wish those affected all get well soon.
I have the story about the Goldberg Air-Conditioner. My friend Jim sent this to me.Thanks.
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram and Max, invented the first automobile
airconditioner. On July 17th, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary
into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exiting innovation in the auto
industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air-
conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them
$3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused. saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the
recognition by having a label, "The Goldberg Airconditioner," on the dashboard of each car
in which it was installed.
Now the old man Ford was more than just a little anti- Semitic, and there was no way he was going to the Goldbergs name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about 2 hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And to this day, all Ford air conditioners show == Lo, Norm, Hi and Max on the controls.
One from my friend Warren. Thanks for "Gotta love Drunk People."
A man and his wife were awakened at 3.00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man
gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pounding rain,
asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, it is 3.00 am in the morning. He slams the door and
returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3.00 am in the morning and pouring rain."
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months
ago when we broke down, and those people helped us" "I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out in the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband, soaking wet.
"Yes, please." .comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing." replies the drunk.
Thank you Patty for the next joke.
Upon reaching 65, Dick decided to retire. After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitatedd with him, She suggested he go and do something to occupy
his time, ike join a club or get a hobby.
Dick abliged and went out for a couple of hours. When he got home, his wife asked about
his day and he repied, "Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys.
Oh, and yeah, I joined a parachute club."
"What? Are you nuts? You are 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of
"Yeah, I even got a membership card."
"Old man, you need glasses. This is a membership card in a Prostiute club, not a
"Oh, great. Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week."
My mother began getting calls from men who misdialled the similar number of an escort service, Mum who had had her number for years asked the telephone company to
chanfe the organisation's number, They refused. The calls kept coming.
Finally, Mum began telling the gentlemen who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the escort service voluntarily changed its number.
Soon after we were married, my husband Paul, stopped wearing his weddng ring.
"Why don't you ever wear your ring?" I asked.
"It cuts off my circulation." Paul replied.
"I know," I said. "It's supposed to."
A friend got into a hospital lift with a porter wheeling an elaborate machine. The device
had several pipes , dials and gauges. My friend remarked that she would hate to be
connected to such a machine.
"So would I," said the porter. "IT's a carpet shampooer."
Sign in a Police Station __ In God we trust -- Others we polygraph.
Bye for now my friends. Take good care of yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle,
Post 594 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 30th April, 2009.