Post 589 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 10th April, 2009.
Hello Everyone ~~ I hope this finds you all doing well and enjoying your lives. I am still
going OK, but due to the pain and the medications, I tend to go to sleep anytime and anywhere
sometimes for a short nap to a couple of times for over an hour. So when I have some time,
I probably don't get far before I fall asleep in my chair. Doctor told me to be patient. Just as
well I am not the violent kind. I asked if I should rest or force myself to walk. He said that
was a very good question, but didn't give me the answer, so I only walk when necessary.
As you know I have had a lot of visitors lately. Peter was the first and I was sorry he couldn't stay longer. He has been over three months in Adelaide with his daughter, Vicki. I am so very happy
to know she is well enough for him to leave, and can understand he was anxious to get home to
Queensland and his home.
Next came 2 of my granddaughters ~~ Kate who is 21 and Kristen who is 16 and she is driving
with Kate and also her Mother Kathy, getting ready for her P plates next February.
They were a big help and Kate cooked a leg of lamb and did all the vegies for me and I didn't wash
a dish while they were here. Krissy cleaned out a cupboard for me. It was great to have them.
They also visited some school friends at a nearby town.
This is Peter, Merle and Kate. She is the one who spent a month in France, as she is going to be
a chef, among other things.
Kristen and Kate. They left on Sunday.
My cousins, Gordon and Phyll who came for tea Sunday night, and Phyll brought the tea
Cousin Gordon, Phyll's sister Edna, Merle, and Phyllis.
So we had a lovely evening together. These 3 people used to take me to Queensland
almost twice every year while my Dad was alive and then to see my stepmother, Ada.
So they are very close to my heart. They were pleased to see Peter was here.
Last time they called was the night of my accident and Gordon said I looked better now.
Peter took me to the hospital on Monday, for X-rays and said did I want to look at TVs as
mine was getting fuzzy, so it was a High Definition Box or a new one. So we went and bought
one which is bigger and I can read the words without having to get up and see them. But the
stations are different and I am learning how to work it now. It is so clear that I can even watch
the ads at present, but will get over that very soon. I am anxious to watch my football team
tomorrow night. I must mention that Peter was here to see my team beat his last Saturday.
He set up the TV and then left to go to see our dear friend Jeanette on the way home.
On Tuesday I had a TV man come and teach me all about it and sell me a Power surge plug.
However I have missed blogging, but I could not type anything without making mistakes, and
I will be very surprised if I get most of this right. John has been very good and came in each day Peter was here as they get on well. He has been several times since Peter left. He buys lunch and comes here to eat it and check on me. I am so grateful for his help. He even pegged out my
washing one day and another day brought it in for me. I think the latest tablets are helping, but
as I said they make me very sleepy. OK so far today. So I had better find some jokes.
Thank you to my dear friend Sherrill for this one. A.A.A.D.D.
Thank goodness there is a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it.
Recently I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. --
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests :
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start towards the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail-box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
So I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway.
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table.
and see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my cheques,
But first I need to push the Coke aside
So that I don't accidently knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye -- they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table.
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs.
But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So I set down the remote on the table.
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day :
The car isn't washed.
The bills aren't paid.
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter.
The flowers don't have enough water.
There is still only one cheque in my cheque book
I can't find the remote.
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with my car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today.
I'm really baffled because I know that I was busy all damn day.
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it,
But first I'll check my e-mail .......
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.
Next one from my good friend Linda May. Thank you my friend.
Baptizing an Irishman.
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a
preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and
accidently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, where
upon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk shouts, "Yes, oi am."
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls the man up and
asks, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, oi haven't found Jesus." The preacher shocked at his answer
dunks him again into the water for a little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks, Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, oi haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wit's end and dunks the drunk in the water again --
- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his
arms and legs, he pulled him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of
God have you found Jesus?"
(Are you ready for this???)
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure dis is where he fell in?"
Next one from my friends in the U.K. Sue and Bob. Thanks folks.
A country Bar.
A chicken farmer went to a local bar....He sat next to a woman and ordered a
glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of
"What a coincidence," the farmer says, This is a special day for me and I am
"This is a special day for me too. I'm also celebrating," says the women.
"What a coincidence." says the man.
As they clinked glasses, the farmer asked "What are you celebrating?"
My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and just today my
gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant."
"What a coincidence," says the man, "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all
my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great, " says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different cock." he replied.
The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."
The local news station was interviewing an 84 year old lady, because she had just
gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked questions about he life,
about what it felt like getting married at 84, and then about her husband's
"He's a funeral director." she answered "Interesting" the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three
husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused a few moments, needing to reflect on all those years. After a short
time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she
first married a banker, when she was in her early twenties. and then a circus
ringmaster when she was in her 40s. later on a preacher in her 60s and now'in her
80s a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married
four men with such diverse careers.
"Easy, son," she smiled. "I married one for the money. one for the show,
three to get ready, and four to go."
Well, time to close. Please forgive any typos. I wish you all a very Happy
Easter and hope you enjoy a few days off work.
Thank you to everyone who has stayed with me and left comments, all
of which are appreciated. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 589 ~~ Friday, 10th April, 2009.