Monday, June 01, 2009

Time is such a Precious Thing.

Post 603 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 1st June, 2009.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is well with you. I am fine and getting back to normal after a
very fun and happy week. It has been a drizzly rain day today without a lot of actual rain.
I made a large steak and kidney casserole and did heaps of vegies, so no more cooking
for a few more days. I may even catch up on my replies tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Today is the first day of our Winter, so Autumn and the leaves are nearly all gone.
We have had lovely weather - around 18 C to 20 C which is 66 F to 68 F. Guess it will
get cooler from now on. The nights have been cooler, already.

I have a very small poem from a Friendship Book, which I hope you may enjoy.

Time is such a precious thing,
It's more than wealth untold!
It's something that we cannot store
And nobody can hold.

Life goes by so speedily,
Before we scarce can taste it,
And time can never be regained . . .
So why do people waste it?

John finally sent me the two pictures he took during our lunch
on Sunday 24th May.

L to R Back of Scotty. Bec. Me , Heather and Geoff.

L to R Geoff, Scott, Joanne, Bec and a bit of me, Heather in Front.

And a nice time was had by all !!!

Now to find some jokes for you...

No Speak English . . .
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However the lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to
communicate with her husband. The real problem arose when she had to go shopping.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how
to put forward her request, and in despeeration, clucked like a chicken and lifted her
skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her chicken legs.

Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it and so
she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.
The butcher understood again and gave her chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady wanted to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brouht her husband to the shop . . . . .
Please scroll down . . .
What were you thinking? Hellooooo, her husband speaks English !!

A few more Whys of Men. Thank you Linda.

Q What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A. A Rumor.

Q Why do little boys whine ? A. They are practicing to be men.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e mail?
A. Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name?
A. You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength. I'll beat him to death. Amen

Life may not be the party you hoped for. . . .but while you are here, you may as well dance.

Overheard: "My greatest fear is that I will be standing behind Mother Teresa in the
Final Judgement line and I'll hear God tell her. "You know, you should have done more.'"

You Know You Are Living in 2009 when . . . . . Thank you dear Robyn.

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have
e mail.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home
to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to
go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back to check there wasn't a #9 on this list.

One from my dear friend, Barbara. Thank you so much Barbara, I hope all is well.
Bran Muffins.
The couple were 90 years old, and had been married for 70 years. Though they were
far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's
insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their
plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly
gates, and St Peter escorted them inside. He took them to
a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your
home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter
replied, "Remember this is your reward in Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course,
finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?"

"This is Heaven," St Peter replied, " You can play for free, every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable
cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic desserts and free flowing

"Don't even ask," said St Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously
at his wife.

"Well where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven."

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure?"
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have
been here twenty years ago !!"

Some Bible Riddles . . . . .

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharoah's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little

Q. What sort of man was Boaz before he married. A, Ruth-less.

Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible.
A. Nebuchadnezzar. He was on grass for seven years.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A. 2 Cor.48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagon Beetle: "We are pressed in
every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Q. Who was the greatest commedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.

Q. What excuse did Adam give his children as to why they no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought never entered his head before.

Q. What do they call Pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible.
A. It's in Kings, where it says David sat on the Throne for forty tears.

Q Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Well, time to get off to bed for me. I hope you found something of interest here.
Take very good care of yourselves and each other. Enjoy every day of your lives.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 603 ~~~ Monday, 1st June, 2009.


Patty said...

Dear Merle,
Glad you ahd such a wonderful time for your birthday, with family and friends.

Yes, time is precious and I find as I get older, it certainly goes faster.

Enjoyed you blog this morning, still chuckling over a couple of the items. Have a great day. I'm doing laundry and on my last load at the moment, plus one in dryer. Trying to think what to prepare for dinner/supper this evening. Daughter will be late, she has class after work, granddaughter doesn't like some things, Abe and I will eat about anything that is set on the table. LOL

Have a great evening, Love, Patty

Dave said...

Great post as always Merle.. *S*

BTW, I posted something on my blog for you...

Granny on the Web said...

Lot of fun in your post as usual Merle. I always enjoy a trip here. You look great in the photo's.
Love Granny

Mountain Mama said...

Your week sure went great. The photos show what a good time you all had. I haven't been out for lunch or dinner in so long I can't even remember when. I think I need to do something about that!

Love the jokes Merle.

Margaret Cloud said...

You are right time is precious and boy does it fly by, I think yesterday I was 18 years old, ha, ha, ha. You are cooling down and we are heating up, but you know so far we have not seen too hot of a day. Very funny stories, enjoyed them all. Have a great week my friend and be safe.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. Yes, it's turned really chilly up here. Have you sent the cold weather up to keep me from becoming too complacent about living in a warm(ish) climate?

Like those Bible someone to find those.

Hope you don't freeze too much down there. You'd probably find it quite pleasant here...I don't!


Lucy Stern said...

Hello Merle: This is a scary thought. Overheard: "My greatest fear is that I will be standing behind Mother Teresa in the
Final Judgement line and I'll hear God tell her. "You know, you should have done more.'"

We are in the beginning months of summer here in the states... June 1st is also the first day of hurricane season so we need to keep our eyes open.... Hope you have a great day.

Linda said...

Hi Merle,
Your blog is like a breath of fresh air, a smile within my day. Thanks for the interesting tidbits and jokes. I enjoyed the beautiful poem from the Friendship book as well.

It's odd for me to think about Winter right now, but of course our seasons are switched with yours; I had forgotten. It was 95 degrees here yesterday in East Central Illinois. Today it's sunny and presently 85. Yet, as the poem reminds us, time is ever moving along...

Hope you have a blessed remainder of the week.

Rosezilla said...

Wow, lots of good stuff to catch up on! I'm so glad you are doing better. You are right, time is precious, so many interesting things to do too! I loved the Living in 2009 stuff, that made me laugh, also the Bible riddles. good stuff, Merle!

Christina said...

Hi Merle, I'm glad you had a great week and good weather. It has been hot here in Florida!

Time certainly does fly by, doesn't it? And we do waste a lot of it.

Good jokes as always!


Gramma Ann said...

Hi Merle,

I've been a lazy blogger lately, taking a summer break. Enjoyed your post today and see you had a visit from family and all had a good time. How wonderful.

The weather today here was a bit cool and rain showers off and on. Sounds like my weather is about the same as yours this week.

Well, Merle, have a splendid rest of the week.


Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I'm glad you had a good time on your B-day week, you looked real happy in the photos.

I liked the Why's of Man and your are living in the 2009 and copied them, I may use them for my Thursday's thirteen.

Have a great week.

Lady Di Tn said...

Howdy as our beloved Minnie Pearl was famous for saying. All the photos of you and your family are great and what a wonderful surprise that Bec got to come down for a week. The flowers are pretty and it is hard to believe it is the first day of winter as we have now turned on the air as it was 94 degrees the first day of the month. We have the southern humidity which makes it really muggy when the temp goes up.
I am so glad you had such a wonderful burpday as you are very dear to us out here in blogland. Peace

linda may said...

Yes Merle, I always find something interesting in here,
Something to make me go aww. Something to make me grin.
Something to make me giggle.
What a clever little blogger you are.

Yes we are trying.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Hi Merle. My daughter Christina sent me over. Enjoyed the Bible jokes, but you left out two of my favorites:

Q. Who was the shortest man in the Bible? A. Bildad the Shuhite

Q. Who was the SECOND-shortest man in the Bible? A. Knee-high-Miah.



Jim said...

Hi Merle, this is a nice post. I am glad you had company and really glad that they took you out to eat. You have a nice family.
That eating picture shows the bottles of table water, I miss that in the states.

My favorite was the man gasping and the woman who let up on the pillow too fast. Ha ha! LOL!

audrey` said...

HaHa! The jokes are so funny especially the Russian wife who was learning on how to communicate in English =)

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