Thursday, June 04, 2009

The Butterfly.

Post 604 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 4th June, 2009.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ I hope all is well with you, as it is with me... I had a visit from 2 neighbors today, so see how I go with this, I may have to finish it tomorrow.

I have a small story called "The Butterfly" tonight and I hope you enjoy it.
The author is Unknown.

A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and
watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force his body through the the
little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared that it had gotten as far as
it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly.

He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly
emerged easily.

Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man
continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would
enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened. In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a
swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of
the cocoon are God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings
so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If God allowed us to go through all our lives without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would never be as strong as what we could have been.

Not only that, we could never fly.

First joke tonight came from my blogger friend Jim. Thanks for this one, Jim.
Golf Nut.

John and Helen met while on vacation, and John fell head over heels in love with her.
And after a couple of weeks in which John took Helen out to various dance clubs,
restaurants, concerts etc., he was convinced that it was true love.

So...on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious
talk about how the relationship would continue. "It's only fair to warn you, I am a total
golf nut," John said to his new found lady friend .. .. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's going to be a problem, you'd better say so now."

Helen took a deep breath and responded, "Since we're being honest with each other,
here goes .... you need to know that I'm a hooker."
"I see," John replied. "That's a problem for sure."

He spent some time looking down at the table, deep in thought. Then he said, "You
know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."

Next one from my friends is England -- Sue and Bob. Thank you.
The Afterlife.

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other
about the afterlife.. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact.
"Mary, Mary." "Is that you Fred?" "Yes, I've come back like to we agreed."

"What is it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, then off to the golf course,
I have sex. I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. Then I have lunch, another
romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon.

After supper, off to the gold course again, Then have sex until late at night. The next
day it starts again."

"Fred, you surely must be in heaven."

"Not exactly. I'm a rabbit in Surrey."

A few from my friend Embee in Britain. Thank you Mike. Hi to your wife Chris B.

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting
and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to Heaven, he said, "Lord take pity on
me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me
life and give up me Irish Whiskey."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said "Never mind, I found one."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you
want to go to Heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then he asked the second man, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die, you don't
want to go to Heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to
go right now."

Paddy was in New York. He was waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, Pedestrians."
Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He had done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians." for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him
and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
<><> There are a few more of these for another time. <><>

My cousin, Bill sent the next few,and there's more of them too. Thanks Bill.

Saturday morning, I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog,
and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat to the truck and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing a 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio
and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there
is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started.

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter for some reason, took my order first. "I'll
have the strip steak, medium rare please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah," I said, "she can order for herself."
And that's how the fight started.

My wife and I were watching "Who wants to be a millionaire?" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No." she answered.
I then said, " Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's how the fight started.

Well it's time to finish this off and retire for the night. Take great care of yourselves and
each other. May the rest of your day be the best of your day. My love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 604 ~ ~ Thursday, 4th June, 2009.


Granny on the Web said...

Oh Merle the last funnies were just great. The piece coming first is very thought provoking; we do think we all should go through life and have it easy, but it is the trials that make us strong. We DO need to realise this.
Thank you my friend, I love your posts.
Love Granny

Pear tree cottage! said...

Merle I sit here and smile........that is a very good thing!!!


Jeanette said...

Dear Merle. I very well Thank you. played bowls yesterday the first time in weeks.Won our 1st game, lost the second on the last end by 1.a very close and good game.

Your jokes gave me quite a giggle Hehehe Father Murphy, got my vote tonight..
well im off to watch the footy and hope Richmond has another win.. Good luck to your team Ccarlton.. take care keep warm sounds like a cold weekend, love Janxxx

Dave said...

Great jokes as always Merle.... it's always nice to start my day off with a smile!

Christina said...

A very nice story and some funny jokes too!

Patty said...

Dear Merle, love the jokes called And That's How The Fight Started.

Busy day, cleaned two commodes, that's always exciting. LOL But occasionally they have to be scrubbed.

Mowed the backyard, fixed a bite of lunch for the four of us. Made a batch of Shoepeg Corn Salad for the reunion on Sunday. It's best if it can marinate a few days. Tomorrow I will make some potato salad and a pan of brownies. I also put icing on my brownies. I like to make the Chocolate Pudding Dessert, but if the weather turns too warm, it doesn't hold up too well. Brownies are good in any kind of weather. And this year instead of buying Kentucky Fried Chicken (that cost an arm and a leg anymore) or making a large pan of Lasagna, I'm going to make a crock pot of sloppy joes. I already have some beets and eggs picking in the frig so they will be nice and red by Sunday. We have fewer and fewer people coming every year. Young ones don't want to bother and the older ones are slowly dying off. Have a great evening and sleep well tonight. I think I will. Your blogging buddy, Patty

Lady Di Tn said...

Great story. Paddy and the cop in New York was a hoot. Peace

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yes, I like those "When the Fight Started" scenarios. I have seen them before, but they are always good for a laugh.

Enjoy the long weekend. Have you got anything planned?


audrey` said...

Thank you so much for your birthday greetings, Merle (((HUGS)))

Margaret Cloud said...

That butterfly story is so true, we do need to have difficult times to make us appreciate what we do have.Merle these were so funny, I had to smile. Take care and be safe. I am not going to be on line too long, I had a bad fall and skinned my knee, my neck and back is starting to hurt. I fell while garage saleing, tripped over a curb.

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- If you didn't get finished then you had way too much to post. That was a blog full!

My vote is for the "that's when the fight started" series. Mrs. Jim and I go to sleep watcing (use the 'sleep timer') the Millionaire. I will think about trying the 'phone a friend' lifeline with her.
It may not work, we might have a fight. But not for long when I tell her it is one of your jokes.


Peter said...

Hi Merle, we are back in Brisbane, it only took about
2 1/2 hours flying time instead of 25 hours driving time, thanks for the good wishes I passed them on to Warren.

Winifred said...

The butterfly story is so true. Thanks for the funnies, you always have such great ones.

Hope you are well Merle.

Fred said...

These are terrific, Merle. It's great to have a joke-sharing group of blog buddies.

Thanks for making my day a little brighter. I hope you had a great weekend!

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I enjoyed and that's how the fight started jokes, very funny.


Linda said...

Merle, you're a hoot. :-) Love these jokes and funnies.

Hope you're having a splendid week!

Linda in Illinois