Friday, July 17, 2009

You're My Friend.

Post 615 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 17th July, 2009.

Hello my friends ~ ~ The week has just flown by, as they all seem to do these days or
maybe it is because we are getting older. It is not only me either, because every day
we live we are all getting older. The alternative is not attractive, so let's keep going.
Every day above ground is a pretty good day. I am late starting again tonight so will
get on with it. Hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives.

The first item was sent to me a long time ago by my blogging friend Nick. Thank you.

You're . . . . .
My friend,
My companion,
Through good times and bad,
My friend,
My buddy,
Through happy and sad,
Beside me you stand,
Beside me you walk,
You're there to listen,
You're there to talk,
With happiness,
With smiles,
With pain and tears,
I know you'll be there, throughout the years.
<><>

First joke came from my dear friend Patty Lincoln. Maybe not a joke. Thanks Patty.

Forgetter Be Forgotten.

My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may sound funny
But, to me , that is no joke.

For when I'm 'here
' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer !!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say 'what am I here for?'
I rack my brain, but all in vain !
A zero is my score.

At times I put something away
where it is safe, but Gee,
The person it is safest from
Is, generally me.

When shopping I may see someone,
Say 'Hi' and have a chat,
Then when the person walks away
Ask myself, now who was that?

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

Please send this to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I sent this to.

LIVE, LOVE, & LAUGH A LOT.
<><>

Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars at several traffic lights in Sydney.

Ahmed drives a Mercedes and lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money
to spend.. Hamid only brings home 2 to 3 dollars a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he
manages to bring home a suitcase full of Ten dollar notes every day?


Ahmed said, "Look at your sign, it says you have no work, a wife and six kids
to feed.
Aussies that see that do not feel as though they accomplish anything by giving you
money. You will still have no job and a large family whether they give you money or
not. Now look at my sign!!"

So Hamid looks at Ahmed's sign.
"I only need another $10 to move back to Lebanon."
<><>

Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London. Paddy happens to look in one
of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said, "Suits, $5.00
each. Shirts $2.00 each, Trousers $2.50 per pair."

Paddy says to his pal, "Mick, look. We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we
get back to Ireland, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you
be quiet, okay? Just let me do the talking cause if they hear your accent, they might
not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent."

"Right you are Paddy. I'll keep my mouth shut, I will," says Mick.

They go in and Paddy says, "I'll take 50 suits at $5.00 each, 100 shirts at $2.00 ea,
and 50 pairs of trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my truck. . . ."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "You are from Ireland, aren't you?"
"Well. . .yes," says a surprised Paddy, "How the hell did you know that?"

The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners."
<><>

It is the Football Grand Final and a man makes his way to his seat and notices the
seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be
sitting there. "No," the neighbor, " the seat is empty."
The man said, "This is incredible. Who in his right mind would have a seat for the
Grand Final and not use it?"

The neighbor said, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come
with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Grand Final we haven't been to
together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh, . . .I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else,
a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head, "They are all at the funeral."
<><>

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding.
Older Woman : "Is there a problem, Officer?"
Officer : "Ma'am, you were speeding."
Older Woman : "Oh, I see."
Officer : "Can I see your license please ?"
Older Woman : I would give it to you, but I don't have one."
Officer : "Don't have one?"
Older Woman : "Lost it years ago for drink driving."
Officer : " I see . . . Can I see your registration papers, please?"
Older Woman : "I can't do that."
Officer : "Why not?"
Older Woman : " I stole this car."
Officer : "Stole it?"
Older Woman : " Yes and I killed and hacked up the owner."
Officer : You what?"
Older Woman : His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back
up. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle her car. A senior officer slowly approaches
the car, holding his half-drawn gun.

Officer 2 : "Ma'am, could you step out of the vehicle please?"
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older Woman : "Is there a problem, sir?"
Officer: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered
the owner."
Older Woman : " Murdered the owner?"
Officer 2 : "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car?"

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2 : " Is this your car, ma'am?"
Older Woman : "Yes, here are the registration papers." The officer is stunned.
Officer 2 : " One of my officers claims you do not have a driver's license."

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the
officer. He examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2 : "Thank you ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license,
that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."

Older Woman : "Bet the liar told you I was speeding too"

Don't mess with Old Ladies.
<><>

A few quotes before I close for tonight.

The indispensable first step in getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide
what you want. ~ ~ ~ Ben Stein.

The secret of my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as
fast as I could. ~ ~ ~ Paul Hogan.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternising with
the enemy. ~ ~ ~ Henry Kissinger.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have
car windows. ~ ~ ~ Erma Bombeck.

You ain't learnin' nothin' when you are talkin'. ~ ~ ~ Lyndon B. Johnson.

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry. ~ ~ ~ Erich Segal.


My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She is 97 now
and we don't know where the hell she is. ~ ~ ~ Ellen DeGeneres.

Bye for now folks. Have a great weekend. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 615 ~~ Friday, 17th July, 2009. <><><>


11 comments:

Jack K. said...

While age is only a number, we each have only so many numbers. We can choose to lament that fact, or serve with integrity, care about those we serve and share the love in our hearts/souls. You must be serving very well. Thanks for your serving, caring and sharing.

Ten dollars to move back. lol

speeding? lol

Keep on keepin' on.

Christina said...

Great post as usual. LOL at the little old lady speeding!!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. $10 to move back to Lebanon...I really liked that one, plus the little old lady speeding. I'd like to try something like that, though I'd probably get arrested...

Have a good weekend. Hugs.

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

That last joke was very funny!! :)

Junie

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
I loved the Don't mess with old ladies. The poem is beautiful. Been reading blogs but have not had time to comment as I spent most of it caring for Mimi. She is stronger but still has a way to go to get back to where she was. Peace

Patty said...

Dear Merle, once again, you have posted a great blog post. Glad everything is running smoothly where you're at. Same here. I always tell my family, the first thing I do is check our local paper on line to see who's passed away. If my name isn't there, then I know I have another day to keep this ole body moving. LOL

Speaking of ole bodies, I have a date set for Aug. 27th, to go have the cataracts removed from my left eye, the surgeon said it seems to be worse than the right. I had my eye check up on Wed. and my doctor said he didn't think a new prescription would help, he wanted me to see this surgeon. So yesterday from 10:30 until 12:10, we were in his office while they ran different test, did measurements, numbed the eyes for the one test, dilated the eyes for the doctor to take a look. Finally got out of the place. I never dreamed it was going to take that long.

Our one daughter drove me over, since I know Abe doesn't have much patience's to wait around like I figured it would be. Also the 9 year old granddaughter went along, then after the eye exam, we picked up Chinese food and drove to my Mother's and had lunch with her. She had once again made her delicious apricot pie. Mom and I neither one need the pie, she takes medication for her diabetes, I'm suppose to watch my diet. Well I did, LOL while eating the pie.

We're having some cool weather here today, it's only 64 degrees F and it's not humid, In fact, I almost need a sweater this morning with the windows open. But it's nice. They say it will get hot again this coming week, so I figure we better enjoy this now.

Perfect week-end for the Air show going on about 10 miles from us. We have never gone to it, I don't care for all the walking around and the crowds. They say the parade they have before the thing starts is really nice. Our one daughter said she had to go through Vandalia on her way to work, because of road construction, and she couldn't believe all the lawn chairs, laying, folded or sitting all along the curb through Vandalia out to the airport. Apparently people took their chairs out ahead of time to reserve a spot for themselves. Now that would have been a perfect time for someone to have come along with a truck, grabbed up those chairs and taken them to a flea market and make a bundle. LOL Perhaps the local police cruised the area a lot.

Well have to run, take care. Blogging buddy, Patty

Gramma Ann said...

G'day, Merle,

As always I enjoyed your post and jokes, quotes and stories. I can't say I have a favorite today they were all good.

I am glad to hear that your doctor appointment went well, and you are doing so well. It's always good to have a nice visit to the doctors. This week I had a visit with my doctor and he cut a pink thingy off my arm. He doesn't think it is anything to worry about, but we cut it off anyway, he said my arm won't look any worse with a white spot then it did with the pink spot. lol.. I will call him on Thursday and see what the results of the test says it is. He thinks it was just some kind of age spot, but, all my other age spots are brown. LOL!! I am beginning to hate these age spots, pretty soon I will be one big age spot. LOL...

Merle, have a great week-end or what is left of it.

Ann

Winifred said...

Love that one from Patty. Reminds me of me! Every year I go on holiday and I don' take my credit card in case I lose it. I hide it in the house just in case we get burgled. I'm still looking for the one I hid in 2008! True!

Jim said...

Hi Merle, I think I saw that Patty watching me the other day. I do a lot of those forgetful things.
I'm with Winifred, it takes me months to find the things I hide when we go on holiday. I think there are some I can't find still but I am not sure what they were.

You did good again. I like the Hamid/Ahmed joke. That must be a tough life.
Cheers,
..

Dave said...

*S* Great post as always Merle... I hope things are going well with you.
I miss you over at my blog...!

audrey` said...

You're my friend too =)

Take care, Merle (((HUGS)))