Post 639 Tuesday, 27th October, 2009.
Hello Everyone ~~ I hope you all had a great weekend, because I did.
I had a house full of visitors and a wonderful time. My daughter, Kathy
and her three daughters arrived on Saturday about lunch time, so we
ate and talked and sat out in the gazebo, and then her son Joh and his
girlfriend Stevie arrived from Deniliquin, NSW. so more eating and more
talking and catching up and the obligatory photographs.
Then we all went out for a meal, including my son John and his friend
and a school friend of Kathy's, Sherrill who haven't seen each other for
a long time, and they talked and talked and enjoyed seeing each other.
We all had a really nice time. Now for some pictures, John took for me.
Kathy, who turned 48, cutting her cake and we sang Happy Birthday.
Her youngest child, Jorja who is 11 years old, taken at home.
Her second daughter, Kristen who will turn 17 in February. She drives the
car (Mercedes) at every opportunity. She drove all the way here and back.
Her eldest daughter, Kate who will be 22 in November. She has been
to France to work for a month in a restaurant and is now a chef, and
is such a help whenever she visits. Isn't she beautiful?
John took both sides of the table (and I forgot to take one of him). Sorry John.
From front -- Merle, Kathy's son Joh and his girlfriend Stevie, and Kate.
From the front, Heather, Sherrill, Kathy, Jorja and Krissy.
Kathy's other son Nick is 14 and was playing cricket, and helping his
Dad with the milking of the cows etc.
Now for a few jokes -- thanks to some friends of mine.
First one from my friend, Mike Burridge from England. Thanks, Mike.
London Lawyer versus Glasgow Cop.
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow cop.
He thinks he is smarter than the cop, because he is a lawyer from
LONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Jock cop.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow
Glasgow cop says, "License and Registration, Please."
London lawyer says: "What for?"
Glasgow cop says: "Ye didnae come to a complete stop. License and
London Lawyer says: "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Glasgow cop says: Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and
London Lawyer says: "What's the difference?"
Glasgow cop says: "The difference is, ye huvte come to a complete stop.
That's the law. License and Registration please."
London Lawyer says: "If you can show me the legal difference between
slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you
give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me a ticket."
Glasgow cop says: "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, Sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the heck out of
the lawyer and says, "Dae you want me to stop or just slow doon?"
My good friend Linda L sent the next three jokes. Thank you Linda.
An 86 year old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 86 year old man
said "Things are great and I've never felt better."
I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child, so
what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to
tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you who is an avid
hunter and never misses a season."
"One day he was setting off to go hunting. He was in a bit of a
hurry, he accidently picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.
As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver
sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home
and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were
his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
"Now what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86 year old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody
else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
A man is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a
sign in front of a broken down shanty style house. "Talking dog
for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the
dog is in the backyard.
The man goes into the backyard and sees a nice-looking Labrador
retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a talking dog, he
says, "So what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when
I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the
CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured
a dog would be eavesdropping."
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But
the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the air-
port to do some under-cover security, wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and
was awarded a batch of medals. "I got married had a mess of puppies,
and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog. The guy said, "Ten dollars."
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why are you selling him so Cheap?
Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh*t.
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation
was sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appearded at the front of the church. Everyone
started screaming and running for the back entrnce, trampling
each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who
sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the
fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence,
So Satan walked up tothe man and said, "Do you know how I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't" said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," the old man replied calmly.
"Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony
for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you are still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years. . ..
Time to close as I am fighting off the sandman. I hope you are all well
and enjoying your lives. My love and best wishes to you all.
Post 639 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 27th October, 2009.