Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Dream what you want to dream.

Post 647 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 1st December, 2009.

Hello my Friends ~~ I trust that all is well at your place, as it is here.
I hope the weather is treating you well. I am enjoying the start of our
Summer, today, and the temps are mid 20s, gradually climbing again.
November was too hot too soon. Happily, no fires as yet, or no major
ones is a better word to date.

Tonight I am posting a lovely poem that I often see parts of it here
and there. Not sure of it's title and the author is Unknown. I am sure
you will know some of the lines.

Dream what you want to dream;
Go where you want to go;
Be what you want to be,
Because you have only one life
And one chance to do all the things
You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human and
Enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
Have the best of everything;
They just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
Be based on a forgotten past;
You can't go forward in life until
You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end
You're the one who is smiling and everyone
Around you is crying.


Some more of my friend, Linda's lexiphiles I think she called them.
It's not a word am familiar with.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a Whisky maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said, "Keep off the grass."

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects.


Quote of the day from my good friend Gina. Thanks Gina.

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her
sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries,
she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and
enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her a bit of crap, be ready to receive a ton of s**t.


One from my friend Warren called Oops !!!

Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the
shadows. "Twenty Quid," she whispers.

He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides - what the heck,
it's only 20 quid.

So they hide in the bushes. They are going 'at it' for a couple of minutes
when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.
It's a police officer who says, " 'Ello, 'ello, what's going on here then,
people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love with my wife," Paddy answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Well," Paddy says, "neither did I until you shone that light on her face."

My friend Robyn sent the next ones called "He Said to Me!"
I have seen these before called That's when the fight started.....

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him . . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove and sink
while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.

He said to me . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery
money I gave you?
I said to him . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said to me . . . . How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
I said to him . . . . I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me . . .Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him . . . . They don't have time.

He said to me . . . .Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?
I said to him . . . .They already have boyfriends.

He said to me . . . What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
I said to him . . . .A widow.

He said to me . . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go
to the fridge.

A few quotes to close with . . . . .

By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence.

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just
shows up by itself. ~ ~ Tom Wilson.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie
about your age. ~ ~ Lucille Ball.

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything;
the young know everything. ~ ~ Oscar Wilde.

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch
your heart. ~ ~ Unknown.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind
can see, ~ ~ Mark Twain.

Well it is time to say Goodnight. Enjoy your lives and have a little
fun every day. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 647 ~ ~ Tuesday, 1st December, 2009.


Dave said...

Good day Merle!
Great post as always... and it was nice to see the picture of you over on Peter's blog! *S*

Have a wonderful week...

Patty said...

Dear Merle, great ones as usual. Loved the Paddy one, it was quite cute. Can you imagine his surprise. LOL

Linda's lexiphiles were pretty clever.

Glad all is well at your end of the world. Nothing new around here. Like that expression, same Sh*t, different day. LOL

Another daughter is coming for supper/dinner this evening, so there will be five of us. Have a chocolate pudding pie chilly in the frig. Store bought graham cracker crust, and some instant chocolate pudding, will top with cool whip, how much easier can it get. LOL And of course, since she doesn't eat meat, the old stand by of spaghetti, garlic toast, olives, and salad. I had thought about fixing some deviled eggs, but didn't have any cooked ahead, and I've also been working on laundry. Got my hair cut at 10am, of course for some reason the fellow cutting my hair was running about 15 mins. late, then Abe and I ran to a town close by for his blood work. On the medicine he is on for his arthritis, he's to have it checked every two months.

Time to sign off, have a load in the dryer and one in the washer waiting to go into the dryer.

Have a fantastic evening.
A blogger buddy, Patty

Lady Di Tn said...

Another good one and I am catching up. Those photos of y'all in the previous post are great. It is good to see Jen looking so good. Sounds like some nice summer weather to be had in your part of the world. Peace

Anonymous said...

Merle I love your blog. I sit in here at night and laugh and laugh. I always feel so good. I think the endophrines released by a good laugh are the best moral boosters in the world, That and a good man,

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. Glad it's cooled down for you. Amazing, it was hotter in spring than it is in summer...for the moment anyway.

A friend of mine went to Ballarat the other week and said it was raining and 14 degrees when he got there...about 7 am. I'm not sure how far Ballarat is from Shepparton but I thought it must have been cold for you, too. Obviously not...

Anyway I guess the heat will arrive again. In fact, it's a little warmer today 31 C but not hot enough to put the air con on.

Take care. Hugs.

audrey` said...

Hello Merle. Enjoy the good weather while it's around. Take care =)

Patty said...

Dear Merle, took the granddaughter to school then went directly to the grocery, filled the car with gasoline, only cost $20.50, and I had driven 154.? miles, plus my driving is mostly in town, so I didn't think that was too bad. Got back home and groceries were all part away by 9:45.

So got that done and out of the way. don't have a lot planned for today, but all ready it's 11:15 am, and before I know it, will be lunchtime, then dishes from breakfast and lunch, by the time I get those done, it will be time again to pick up the granddaughter.

But the laundry is done for the week, cleans sheets on ABe's bed and mine is folded to put over the recliner I sleep in, daughter changes her own for herself and granddaughter, groceries are done for this coming week. Now sweeping and dusting will be next, but I can do that tomorrow.

I pulled all of the Christmas tree items out into the garage from the closet, so daughter and granddaughter can sit it up this week-end. I have three fiber optic trees, I put no ornaments on them, they change colors and to me that's enough.LOL Old scrooge here.

It's cool again this morning 38 degrees F, rainy, may have some snow flakes later today.

Take care, enjoy your evening. Love, Patty

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Delightful poem, Merle. Thank you, my friend.

Mountain Mama said...

Hello Merle. You sure have some good ones tonight. I copied a few to send to family & friends, thank you!

You are talking about summer there and I have to say I am very envious. It has been freezing here. In the mornings the frost is so thick it looks like snow. My feet don't want to stay warm when I'm in the office room either. I need to bring an electric heater down and set it by my desk.

Thanks for sharing your jokes with us. I wonder if you know how many of us truly appreciate your thoughtfulness?
You are a very special lady.
God bless!

Jim said...

Well Merle, our weathers have reversed again. We are at 6 C now and snow and much colder is predicted for tomorrow.

"lexiphile - 1 definition - 1: A word used to describe those that have a love for words." on-line dictionary, I forgot which one.

I like Mark Twain. I also like the sayings of his that you found for us. Thanks.


carl h. sr. said...

Hello once again Dear Merle.
You are quite a character!
I enjoyed your funny stories here.
And I'll bet you are not very shy!
Glad I stopped by to see your blog again.
I haven't kept mine up as my children have made so many 'improvements' on my computer that I almost have to learn anew how to use it.
Your posts just made me feel better from half way around the globe. Thank You Merle,

Big Dave T said...

Boy, you're just getting your summer and we'll get our first real snow soon. So says the weatherman. Liked your jokes as always and your inspirational messages. I believe the beginning of that poem comes from a popular Mamas and Papas song.

Ya know, the only time I was approached by one of those "ladies of the night" was when I was visiting London. Crossing a street at a busy intersection yet!

Pearl said...

Wish I was with you visiting and feeling those warm rays of sunshine. This morning it is a very cold 19 degrees.
It feels very good under the electric blanket.
Today the pups and husband will be joining me to visit Santa. We are having our photo taken. Can't wait to see how it all turns out.

Take good care.

Anonymous said...

first catch your hare, then cook him........................................

Gledwood said...

I'm writing my dream down now. It took a ridiculously long time to get round to it but finally I'm getting somewhere!

Margaret Cloud said...

Liked the poem, really liked the ones from Linda, very cute. Another funny post, what would we do without you sharing humor with us, thanks.