Post 647 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 1st December, 2009.
Hello my Friends ~~ I trust that all is well at your place, as it is here.
I hope the weather is treating you well. I am enjoying the start of our
Summer, today, and the temps are mid 20s, gradually climbing again.
November was too hot too soon. Happily, no fires as yet, or no major
ones is a better word to date.
Tonight I am posting a lovely poem that I often see parts of it here
and there. Not sure of it's title and the author is Unknown. I am sure
you will know some of the lines.
Dream what you want to dream;
Go where you want to go;
Be what you want to be,
Because you have only one life
And one chance to do all the things
You want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human and
Enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
Have the best of everything;
They just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
Be based on a forgotten past;
You can't go forward in life until
You let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end
You're the one who is smiling and everyone
Around you is crying.
Some more of my friend, Linda's lexiphiles I think she called them.
It's not a word am familiar with.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a Whisky maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said, "Keep off the grass."
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects.
Quote of the day from my good friend Gina. Thanks Gina.
Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her
sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries,
she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and
enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her a bit of crap, be ready to receive a ton of s**t.
One from my friend Warren called Oops !!!
Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the
shadows. "Twenty Quid," she whispers.
He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides - what the heck,
it's only 20 quid.
So they hide in the bushes. They are going 'at it' for a couple of minutes
when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.
It's a police officer who says, " 'Ello, 'ello, what's going on here then,
people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love with my wife," Paddy answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," Paddy says, "neither did I until you shone that light on her face."
My friend Robyn sent the next ones called "He Said to Me!"
I have seen these before called That's when the fight started.....
He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said to me . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him . . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove and sink
while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.
He said to me . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery
money I gave you?
I said to him . . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
He said to me . . . . How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
I said to him . . . . I don't know; it has never happened.
He said to me . . .Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him . . . . They don't have time.
He said to me . . . .Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?
I said to him . . . .They already have boyfriends.
He said to me . . . What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
I said to him . . . .A widow.
He said to me . . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go
to the fridge.
A few quotes to close with . . . . .
By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence.
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just
shows up by itself. ~ ~ Tom Wilson.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie
about your age. ~ ~ Lucille Ball.
The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything;
the young know everything. ~ ~ Oscar Wilde.
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch
your heart. ~ ~ Unknown.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind
can see, ~ ~ Mark Twain.
Well it is time to say Goodnight. Enjoy your lives and have a little
fun every day. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 647 ~ ~ Tuesday, 1st December, 2009.