Airline Lunches.

Post 660 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 27th January, 2010.

Hello my friends ~~ I hope you are all doing well and enjoying life. All is well
here and reasonable days are helping -- 33 C is 91 F and so pleasant.
Well it was Australia Day yesterday and I spent most of it cooking and also
watching cricket. Tonight's story is worthy of Australia Day, and any other
allied Country. Just change a few words and it's your country.

The story of Airline Lunches was sent to me by my good friend Linda L, so
thank you. It is a good one.

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned
seat. It was going to be a long flight from Perth. I thought, "I am glad I have
a good book to read, and perhaps I'll get a short sleep.

Just before take-off, a line of diggers came down the aisle and filled all the
vacant seats -- totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation.
"Where are you blokes headed?" I asked the Digger seated nearest to me.
"Puckapunyal. We will be there for two weeks for special training, and then
we will be deployed to Afghanistan."

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that lunches
were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached
Melbourne and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time.

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask a mate if he planned
to buy lunch. "No, that seems like a lot of money for just an airline lunch.
Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to Pucka."
His mate agreed.

I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked
to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar note.
and said, "Take a lunch to all those soldiers."

She grabbed my arm and squeezed tightly, her eyes wet with tears, She
thanked me saying, My young bloke was a digger in Iraq, it's almost like
you are doing it for him." Picking up ten lunch boxes, she headed up the
aisle to where the Digs were seated.

She stopped at my seat and asked, "Which do you like best - beef or
chicken?" "Chicken," I replied wondering why she had asked. She turned
and went to the front of the plane, returning a minute later with a dinner
plate from first class. This is your thanks." After I finished eating, I went
again to the back of the plane heading for the rest room. An old bloke
stopped me and said, "I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here
take this." He handed me twenty-five dollars.

Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Captain coming down the aisle
looking at the aisle numbers. I hoped he wasn't looking for me, but
noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane.
When he got to my row he stopped, smiled and held out his hand and
said, "I want to shake your hand." Quickly undoing my seat belt I stood
and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice, he said, "I was an Army
pilot a long time back.. Once someone bought me lunch. It was an act of
kindness I never forgot."

I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.
Later I walked to the front of the plane to stretch my legs. A kid who looked
about 18 was sitting about six rows in front of me reached out his hand,
wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.

When we landed, I gathered my belongings and started to depart. Waiting
just inside the aeroplane door was a man who stopped me, put something
in my shirt pocket, turned, walked away, without saying a word. Another
twenty-five dollars.

Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to
Puckapunyal Army Camp. I walked over to them and handed them the
seventy-five dollars. "It will take some time to reach Pucka. It will be about
time for a sandwich. God Bless you Blokes."

Ten young blokes left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow
Aussies. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their
safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country.
I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little.

A digger is someone, who at some point in his life, wrote a blank cheque
made payable to "AUSTRALIA" for an amount of 'up to and including my
life.'

That is Honour and there are way too many people in this country who
don't understand it.

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Thank you Barbara for the first joke tonight.
It was a Dark and Stormy Night.

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens
near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a deserted road.
It was late and raining hard. Bob could hardly see the road in front of him.
Suddenly the car skids out of control and smashes into a tree.

Moments later Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over
at the passenger seat and sees his wife, unconscious, with her head
bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has
to get his wife medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks up his wife and begins trudging down the road. After
a short while he sees a light. He heads towards the light which is coming
from a large old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes, then a small, hunched man opens the door. Bob
immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty.
We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt.
Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master
is a doctor; come in and I will get him." Bob brings in his wife.
An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have
misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However it is many
miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see
what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the labority."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following
closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses with exhaustion
and his own injuries. Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried, "Things are serious
Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to
no avail. Bob and Betty are no more.
The Hills deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the stairs
to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano.

(You are going to be mad at me when you get to the punch line.)

Meanwhile Igor is still in the lab tidying. His eyes catch movement, and he
notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time with the music.
Stunned he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat. He is
further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight.

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master. . . .The Hills are alive with the sound of music."
<><>

Next one is from my friend Robyn who must be still celebrating.
It is called "The Conspiracy."

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper.

Groceries are heavier.

And everything is further away.

Yesterday, I walked to the corner and I was dumb-founded to discover
how long our street had become.

And you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones.
They speak in whispers all the time. If you ask them to speak up, they
just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent
message until they are red in the face. What do they think I am -- a
lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the
other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into
an old friend the other day and she had aged so much that she didn't
even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this
morning and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection . . . . . Well,
REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be.

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today.

You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in
front of them. All I can say is their brakes must wear out awfully fast
the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear-view mirror.

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but
in reverse. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that
dial? HA !! I would never let myself weigh that much. Just who do these
people think they are fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -but
the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too. They've printed the
phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number.

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack. Unless
something drastic happens, pretty soon every one will have to suffer
these awful indignities.
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Last joke tonight comes from Linda - - Thanks again my friend.

The usual threesome of an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman
were drinking at a bar in Wales and comparing it to their own local
drinking establishments,

"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back
home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord
goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy
the fifth drink."

"Well Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local in London, the Red Lion,
the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the
moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another,
all the drinks you like actually. Then when you have had enough drinks,
they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house."

The Englishman and the Scotsman were suspicious of the claims, But the
Irishman swore every word was true.

"Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to
my sister quite a few times."
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I found a really nice quote and would like to share it with you :

Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another

special gift from our Creator, another golden opportunity to complete

what we were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self starter.

Let our first hour set the theme of success and positive action that

is certain to echo through your entire day.

Today will never happen again.

Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all.

You were not born to fail. ~ ~ ~ Og Mandina.
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That's it for tonight my friends. Take great care of yourselves
and your loved ones. Be happy and enjoy your lives.
Love and Best wishes, cheers, Merle.

Post 660 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 27th January, 2010.
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