Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Whisper or Brick.

Post 694 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 27th July, 2010.

Hello My Friends ~ ~ How are things at your place? All going well I hope and
I hope your lives are happy. All OK here, though I am still having trouble to
walk comfortably. The severe pain has gone, but my legs are being stubborn.
We have had some lovely days with top temps about 15 C, about 60 F.
So it looks as though Spring won't be too far away. I'm an optimist. Sometimes.

Unfortunately, I can't do much outside, apart from hanging washing and then
getting it in to air. I feed the birds in the back yard, and get the newspapers
and the mail. I wash the bird-baths, back and front. The one at the back had
a nice (?) sheet of ice over it. Frosty mornings always mean a nice day.

My Home Care lady came this morning so we are all tidy again. It always feels
nice after the floors are cleaned and my bed has fresh sheets on it.

First item tonight was sent by Mountain Wings. I have posted it before, but
it is worth another run I feel. They called it "Whisper or a Brick."

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighbor street,
going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.

He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed
down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead a brick smashed into the
Jag's side door. He slammed on his brakes and spun the Jag back to the spot
where the brick had been thrown. He jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid
who was standing there and pushed him against a parked car.

"What do you think you are doing, boy?" Building up a head of steam, he went
on, "That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money,
"Why did you do it?"

"Please sir, please. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do," pleaded the boy.
"I threw the brick because no one else would stop . . ."

Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car.
"It's my brother, sir," he said, "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheel
-chair and I can't lift him up."

Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him
back into his wheelchair, sir? He is hurt and he is too heavy for me."

Moved, beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump
in his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out
his handkerchief and wiped the cuts and scrapes, checking everything was
going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you, sir," the grateful child said to him. The man
then watched the little boy push his brother toward their home.

It was a long walk back to his Jaguar . . a long slow walk.
He never did repair the side door.

He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone
has to throw a brick to get your attention.

God whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart.
Sometimes when you don't have time to listen,

He has to throw a brick at you.

It is your choice:
Listen to the whisper . . .
Or wait for the brick. Author Unknown.

First joke tonight is called "The Falling Plane."

On a trip to the States on a private [lane, there was a lawyer, who worked
for a big firm in New York. A doctor from D.C, and elderly Jew from a small
town and a little boy from Chicago.

On their way back to the States, one of the engines blew out and the plane
began rapidly falling over the Atlantic, so the pilot said in a panic state of
mind. "There's only 4 parachutes available and we will have to jump." but
without thinking of how many parachutes and people there was, the pilot

Now in the midst of all the chaos the doctor grabbed one of the chutes and tells
all of them, "I hope everyone understands why I'm taking one. There are few
doctors in the world, and America needs people like me to save people's
lives." After his speech he jumped and landed safely.

Now there are only 2 parachutes left with 3 people on board the falling plane...
Without a thought the lawyer raises up and grabs the parachute from the little
boy's hands and tells them. "Listen, I work for a major firm in New York, and
handle all sorts of disputes in the court. Besides I have a lot to live for and the
people of this world need people like me who are smart to teach the not so
smart people." Then after he was done, he jumped.

Now the God fearing old Jewish man looked at the little boy and said, "My son,
I have lived a life of righteousness and of faithfulness to my God, and He knows
all my deeds. I know He is pleased with me, besides I am now old
and have
lived long enough. I have no regrets, so please take this parachute and save
yourself for you are the future of this world."

As the tears ran down the little boy's face, the old Jewish man told him, "Don't
cry for I will be safe in the Father's arms. Here take the parachute."

The little boy replied, "No, sir that's not it."

So the old Jew asked, "Then why are you crying?"

The little boy replied, "Because the toy, my Mommy gave me was in my Book Bag.
The smart man with the tie and shirt snatched it out of my hands and jumped with it.

Next one is called "Virginia Hunters."

Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to
where they want to be and started walking.
After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest.

Bob says to Fred, "I'm not feeling too good."

Fred says, " Well we can walk back to the truck."
Bob says, "Yeah, let's do that."

So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics
and calls 911.

The operator answers and says, "911, what's your emergency?"

Fred says, "My friend fell over with a heart attack. I think he's dead."

Operator says, :Well first make sure he's dead."

Fred says, "OK."

The operator listens and hears a BANG !!!

Fred gets back on the phone and says, "OK, He's dead.... now what?"

Next one is called "TWO WORDS."

A prince had a curse put on him when he was a little boy. He could only
speak two words every year. But if he didn't speak for a whole year, he
would then b e able to speak 4 words the next year and so on.

One day, he met a Princess named Josie and he wanted to say, "My

The next year he saw her and wanted to say, "My princess, I love you"

The third year he saw her he wanted to say, "My princess I love you,
Will you marry
me?" But the young prince, now growing older knew he
would have to wait a couple more years.

So on the fifth year, excited, to finally present his question, he visited
the princess.

He approached her respectfully and asked, "JOSIE, MY PRINCESS, I

And the princess said, "Pardon?"

A riddle for the day.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one/

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims she took on three.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it????

The answer is: "A Last Name."

Sorry folks . . . NO dirty jokes here.

Last one for tonight is "I Life were like a Computer" :

You could add or remove someone in your life using the control panel.

You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel
like it.

You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

You could click on "find" (Ctrl F) to recover your lost remote & car keys.

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run."

If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete> and
start all over again.

Have you heard this one?

Q How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced>

A. A buccaneer.

Well, time to close for tonight. Enjoy your lives and take care of yourselves
and each other. Love and Best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 694 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 27th July, 2010.


Sharon's Cottage Quilts said...

Hello Darling Merle! I love the pirate joke! Just cracked me up! I'm so happy that you are getting around now, and still keeping your good humor in tact!! I think of you so much, and send prayers for your good health each day. You are so dear, Merle.
Be well~Hugs,

Jack K. said...


Kerri said...

Hello dear Merle,
I finally made it over to thank you for the happy birthday wishes. You're so sweet to remember :)
I'm glad to hear your severe pain is gone but sorry your legs are still not up to par. I hope and pray they will be soon!
Enjoyed your jokes as usual and I always love reading "Whisper or Brick".
Sending a big hug xox

Dave said...

Great post as always Merle, I especially loved the last snippet, a buccaneer! *L*

Puss-in-Boots said...

A buccaneer...lol. Where did you get that one, Merle?

I know what you mean when the house is clean. My cleaning lady came today and now the floors are clean, the dusting's done and the bathroom is pristine...what a lovely feeling to come home to a lovely fresh smelling home.

Glad to hear things are gradually improving for you, Merle. But just take things carefully...


Big Dave T said...

My wife starts swimming therapy for her bad knee next week. If that doesn't work, maybe she could borrow your home care helper for some chores.

I need that "control f" key, especially to find my reading glasses. I have two pair but I'm always searching for one of them (I used to have three pair, but one has been missing so long I've given up on ever finding them).

Gledwood said...

Hi Merle!

Feeding the birds in Melbourne must be a v different experience to here in London. Instead of a blackbird, a couple of blue tits, a sparrow, two magpies, a crow and naughty squirrels trying to steal it all, you got parrots, lorikeets, kookaburras, cockatoos ... wow!

PS: Hey thats a point, my nom-de-bloggeur is single barrel too...


Rob said...

I'm pleased to hear that things are hotting up for you a little over there Merle and I'm glad to see you are managing to do some pottering around.

Rhi said...

Even when I have been gone a long, long while, it is always nice to come back and share a few laughs. I'm glad things seem to be going okay, and I hope spring comes swiftly your way. Take care!

Margaret Cloud said...

That was a touching story sent by Mountain Wings, yes we do tend to go through life fast at times. Very nice stories, enjoyed the falling plane. Have a nice weekend my friend.

Granny said...

I'm sorry about your legs. Glad you're enjoying cool weather and maybe the beginning of an early spring.

I'm so far behind. Didn't know about Peter's surgery. I'll try to get over to his site; meantime, will you send him my best wishes for a speedy recovery?

Much Love

Jim said...

Hi Merle ~~ I am amongst the living again as far as blogging.
I am sorry that I missed Peter's eye surgery. When I leave here I will lurk around his blog a little. Or leave a note.

I like your pirate joke. I'd like to steal it.

And your legs? I do hope they get better and for sure not worse. I don't do much outside here either because of our weather. It is supposed to get over 100 this weekend. It seems terribly hot after coming back from the Baltic Sea and London.

Mrs. Jim will be home Wednesday (from London). I have my cardiology six month's check up Monday. That involves purging because they will do a sonogram to check on a possible endoleak.

mreddie said...

We sure could use some of your cool weather here - it has been over a 100F to many days here. Hope you do better with the legs. ec

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle,
Good selection of reading tonight. I've just deleted about 20 emails from my Outlook Express account. They might have been good jokes or whatever, but honestly some people don't know when to stop! It is much better to visit your blog and scroll slowly through your jokes and anecdotes.
I'm sorry to hear you have had problems with your legs. Do hope your doc. sorts it out for you sooner rather than later.