Post 695 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 3rd August, 2010.
Hello again my friends ~~ It is nice to be back with you, and I trust that
all is going well with you all. I went shopping today with my carer lady,
so we are all stocked up again and put away. My back and leg were aching
after it, so I sat down after lunch to have a rest - - and went sound asleep.
However, I feel much better now, so here I am.
We had quite a bit of rain over the last week which freshens everything up
and it hasn't been as cold. Yay!!
I also had a surprise visit from Geoff and Jo. They got a trailer load of
wood, and then came and stayed on Saturday night. Next day Geoff
did a lot of tidying up around the place. Much appreciated, as always.
First item tonight is called "All the time in the world." Author Unknown.
While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench
near a playground. "That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a
little boy in a red sweater who was going down the slide.
"He's a fine looking boy," the man said. "That's my son on the swing in the
blue sweater." Then looking at his watch, he called to his son. "What do
you say we go Todd?"
Todd pleaded, "Just five minutes more, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes."
The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content.
Minutes passed and the father stood and called to his son again, "Time to
Again Todd pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes." The
man smiled and said, Okay."
"My, you are certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.
The man smiled and then said, "My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk
driver last year when he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much
time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five minutes more
with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd.
"He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is . . . . I get
five more minutes to watch him play."
One from my son Geoff -- Thanks Geoff. "Never argue with a woman."
One morning, the husband returns their boat to their lakeside cottage
after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up and begins to
read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside
the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you sexual assault," she said.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment."
"Have a nice day Ma'am and he left.
Moral : Never argue with a woman who reads.
It is likely she can also think !!!
A couple from my son John -- "Free Kittens." Thanks John.
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her
home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures;
in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out steps a tall
"Hi there little girl, I'm the Prime Minister. What do you have in the basket?"
"Kittens," said little Suzy.
"How old are they?" asked Julia.
Suzy replied, "They are so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."
"And what kind of kittens are they?"
"Labor supporters," answered Suzy with a smile.
Julia was delighted. As soon as she returned to her car, she called her
PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.
Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the Prime
Minister should return the next day; and in front of the assembled
media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her
basket of "FREE KITTENS." when another motorcade pulled up, this
time followed by vans from ABC, Channel 7, SBS, Ten and Nine,
Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Julia got out
of her limo and walked over to little Suzy.
"Hello again," she said. "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out
there what kind of kittens you're giving away."
"Yes, ma'am," Suzy said "They're Liberals."
Taken by surprise, the Prime Minister stammered. "But yesterday you told
me they were Labor supporters."
Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open."
"The Haircut." Thanks John.
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot
accept money from you. I am doing Community service this week."
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went too open his shop the next morning, there was
a Thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later a cop comes in for a haircut and when he tries to pay hi bill,
the barber again says "I cannot accept money from you because I am
doing community service this week." The cop was happy and left.
The next morning when he went to open his shop, there was a Thank
You card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at the door.
Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went
to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from
you as I am doing Community Service this week." The MP was happy and
left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open his shop, there were a
dozen MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that my friends, illustrates the fundamental differences between the
citizens of our country, and the politicians who run it.
One evening during a violent thunderstorm. a mother was tucking her
young son into bed. She was about to turn out the light when he asked
with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy,, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't darling," she
said, "I have to sleep with Daddy."
There was along silence, but at last the little boy's shaky voice said,
"The big sissy."
A man and a woman who have never met before, are assigned to the
same sleeping compartment on a transcontinental train.
After the initial embarrassment, and uneasiness, they both go to sleep -
yhe man on the upper berth, the woman in the lower one.
In the middle of the night, the man leans down, wakes the woman and
says, "I am sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was
wondering if you could possibly reach over and get me another blanket?"
The woman leans out and with a glint in her eye, replies, "I have a better
idea, just for tonight, let's pretend we are married."The man's eyes light up.
"All right," he cries happily. "Awesome idea."
"Good," says the woman, "Go get your own blanket."
Customer: How do you know it's my first visit to the car wash?
Attendant: We don't get many through on motor-bikes.
Q Where does Thursday come before Wednesday?
A In the dictionary.
Q. Why is that man on the roof?
A. Someone said that drinks were on the house.
Q. Why did the child keep staring at the orange juice container?
A. Because it said "Concentrate."
My sister and her family were on their way to Albury in southern
New South Wales. One hour into the 3 hour trip, her four year
old son asked, "Mum, are we in Strawberry yet. Who wouldn't
be in a hurry to get there.
If you want someone to remember you, borrow something from them.
A balanced diet is a chocolate bar in each hand.
Time to say Goodnight my friends, Look after yourselves and
each other. Love and Best Wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 695 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 3rd August, 2010.