Friday, December 03, 2010


Post 715 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 3rd December, 2010.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope all is well with you and you are enjoying your lives.
I am doing OK here and plodding along (slowly). A friend who used to live in
my street took me shopping for the last things I needed for Christmas.
Thanks Lorraine, who not only took me but carried everything for me.
Truly appreciated.

I am pretty tired, so don't expect this will be a great post, but here goes.

The first item tonight is called "Worry" and my friend Linda in Canberra sent
it to me. Thanks Linda.

Is there an imaginary cut-off period when Offspring become accountable
for their own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when parents can
become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug,
"It's their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors
to put a few stitches in my daughter's head and I asked, "When do you stop
worrying"? The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage.."
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard
how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was
headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a
teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you
can sit back, relax and enjoy them."
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're
trying to find themselves. Don't worry. In a few years they will be adults.
"They'll be off on their own and they'll be out of your hair."
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was fifty, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable, I was still
worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle... Even though
they were on their own, I continued to anguish over their failures, be
tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments...
and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

My friends said that when my kids got married, I could stop worrying
over my children and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I
was haunted by my parent's warm smiles and their occasional, "You
look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are
you depressed about something?"

My friends said that when I became a grandparent, that I would get to
enjoy the happy little voices yelling, "Grandma! Papa!" But now I find
I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones.
How can anyone cope with all this Worry?

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern
for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human
frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a
virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?

Recently, one of my own children became quite irritable, saying to me,
"Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days and no one answered.
I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

Next one was sent by my son Geoff called The Talking Centipede.
Thanks Geoff.

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went
to the pet store and told the owner he wanted an unusual pet. After
some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede (100 legged bug.)

It came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back
home, and found a good spot for the box and decided he would start by
taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box,
"Would you like to go to church with me today. We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he
waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church
with me and receive blessings?"

But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a
few minutes more, thinking about the situation. The guy decided to invite
the centipede one last time. This time he put his face up against the
centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there. Would you like to go to
church and learn about God?"...

You are going to love this.....





This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time.
I'm putting my shoes on!!!"

One from Mountain Wings called "10 Reasons God created Eve."

10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden, because
he wouldn't ask for directions.

9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV
remote. (It has been noted that men don't want to see what is ON TV;
they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.)

8. God knew Adam would never make a doctor's appointment.

7. God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy
a new one.

6. God knew Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.

5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but He knew Adam would
never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.

4. As "Keeper of the garden" Adam would need help finding his tools.

3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident and for anything
else that was really his fault.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."

1. And the No. 1 reason of all
(Tada, drum roll, fanfare etc)

God stepped back, looked at Adam and declared: "I can do better than that."

Mountain Wings note: I don't know who wrote this, but I don't think this
joke was written by a man.

One from my friend Sharon K. "Grandmas don't know everything..."
Thank you Sharon.

Little Tony was 7 years old and was staying with his grandmother for
a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while
when he came inside and asked her:

"Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room
and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. It's
called sex, darling."

Little Tony said, "OH. OK" and went back outside to play with the others.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,

"Grandma, it isn't called sex. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's Mom
wants to talk to you."

One from my good friend Barbara called "Childbirth at 65." Thanks Barbara.

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65 year old
friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from
hospital and went home, I went to visit.

"May I see the new baby?" I asked.
"Not yet," She said I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed and I asked, "May I see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," she said. After a few minutes had elapsed, I asked again,
"May I see the new baby now?" "No, not yet," replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES." she told me.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" I demanded. "Why do I have to wait until he cries?"


Last two also from Mountain Wings. First called "TURKEY LEGS."

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect
a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and
there were never enough legs for everyone.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his
efforts to his friends at the general store get together.

"Well, I finally did it. I bred a turkey that has 6 legs."
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know," said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing."

Last one is a quote about Diet . . . .

When diet is wrong, medicine is of no use.
When diet is correct, medicine is of no need.
~ ~ Ancient Ayurvedic Proverb.

Time to call it a day my friends until next time. Take good care of
yourselves and your loved ones. Give a smile to someone who doesn't
have one. Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 715 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 3rd December, 2010.


Rob said...

Hi Merle, I'm pleased to read that you are getting out and about. I enjoyed reading the article about worry, The thing that struck me was that we do all this worrying about our kids and they turn round and tell us to stop worrying!

Lady Di Tn said...

Glad to hear you got your Christmas shopping done but sorry to hear you are so tired. Mother always told me that you worry more when children get older and grow into adults. With Puppy at 23, she was absolutely correct. I think the jokes are the best one yet especially the ten reason God created Eve. heehee.

Big Dave T said...

You can't be too tired if you have all your Christmas shopping done already. I haven't even started mine. So true about being parents. I know Wendy is always worried about her twenty-something sons. I'll have to forward that story to her.

jel said...

sending ya a early christmas hugg

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I loved the one about passing the torch! A little poetic justice on the kids! ~ jb///

Sissy said...

I borrowed one of the jokes. When one laugh bursts from a body, it has to be shared. One day I hope to see the whole world bursting with explosive laughter. Just doing my part. Thank you Merle et al.

Jim said...

Merle, I envy you being finished with getting things for Christmas. That is nice!

Your "I'm putting my shoes on" joke reminded me of the football player who was an octopus.


Sissy said...

'et al' = 'and others'

Dave said...

Great jokes Merle... and I wish I had my Christmas shopping done yet! I haven't even started yet!

Mountain Mama said...

Hi Merle. Loved your post, as usual. I especially enjoyed the first one about worry. It really is true. I still worry about all my kids, grands and great grands. Not as much as I used to though. I usually just pray it up to the Lord these days and let Him take care of it. He does a much better job than I ever did anyway.
Take care dear.

Margaret Cloud said...

Glad to hear you got your Christmas shopping done. It seems when you are older it takes longer. The worring about our children never ends . The one from your son Geoff is so cute. I enjoyed your post, it always makes us smile. Have a nice week.

Gina E. said...

Funny jokes as always, but don't like hearing that you are very tired. Could it be the weather? The humidity is horrible; makes sleeping at night almost impossible.
Stay cool, drink plenty of water!

Pearl said...

Hope the centipede didn't have tie shoes...maybe slip ons would help.
Love that little joke.
Winter is definitely here and the house is feeling more comfortable than stepping outside.
Take good care of yourself.
Sending you hugs,

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