Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sunday Paper.

Post ~~ 736 Sunday, 22nd May, 2011.

Hello again my friends ~~ It is so good to be back with you all. I am
feeling better each day and can do all I need to do once again, a bit
slower, but hey there is no hurry. Again I would like to thank you all
for the good wishes and comments.
There were two people I could not get to their blogs to thank them for
the comments on Peter's updates and their good wishes. These rwo
were Jan and Michelle (anonymous) So a big thank you to you both,

The first item today is dedicated to all of us seniors, all the seniors you
know and to all of you who will become seniors.



"
WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?"

The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanding to know
where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam," said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday. The Sunday paper
is not delivered until tomorrow SUNDAY."

There was quite a long pause on the other ed of the phone, followed by a ray
of recognition as she was heard to mutter,
"Well, damn, that explains why no one was at church either."
<><>
Next story is rather long, but well worth a read. Thank you to my dear
friend Patty for this one. I really liked this story.

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose
a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do
something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have
decided to choose one of you. " The young executives were shocked but
the boss continued, "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today- one
very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back
here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have
given you.
"I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be
the next CEO.

One man named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a
seed. He went home and excitedly told his wife the story. She helped him
get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day he would
water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some
of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that
were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three, four, five weeks
went by. Nothing.

By now others were talking about their plants. But Jim didn't have a plant
and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by - still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his
seed. Everyone else had trees ad tall plants,, but he had nothing.
Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however he just kept watering
and fertilizing the soil. He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year went by and all the young executives of the company brought their
plants to the CEO for inspection.
Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked
him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach. It was
going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife
was right. He took the empty pot to the board room.

When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other
executives. They were beautiful - in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty
pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed and a few felt sorry for him.

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you
have grown," said the CEO. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next CEO."

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot.
He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He
thought, "The CEO knows I am a failure. Maybe he will have me fired."

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what happened to his seed, and
Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone except Jim to sit down. He looked at Jim and then
announced to the young executives, "Behold, your next Chief Executive Officer."
His name is Jim." Jim couldn't believe it and hadn't even grown his seed.

"How could this be the new CEO?" asked the others.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told
you to take the seed home, plant it, water it and brig it back to me today.
But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead.-it was not possible for them
to grow"

"All of you except Jim, have brought me trees, plants and flowers. When you
found the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I
gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a
pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new

Chief Executive Officer."
<><>

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you reap forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

So be careful what you plant now,
it will determine what you will reap later.

Good one Patty ~~ Thank you so much.
<><>

Next joke is from my friend WARREN. Thanks Mate.

Three drunks hailed a Taxi. The taxi driver seeing they were so wasted
when they got in, he just switched the engine on and switched it off,
and said we are here.

The first guy gave him money, 2nd guy said Thanks but the 3rd guy
slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that
none of them would have realized the car didn't move an inch.

So he asked, "What was that for?"
"Control your speed next time. you almost killed us."
<><>

Next joke was sent to me by my cousin Bill, Thank you.


A father walks in to a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy
3 ten cent coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly the little boy starts choking and going blue in the face. The father
realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the 10 cent coins but is still choking. Looking at his
so and panicking shouting for help.

A well dressed attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit
is sitting at a coffee bar reading her newspaper and sipping her cup of coffee,
At the soud of the commotion, she looks up, puts down her coffee, folds her
newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way
unhurried across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants takes hold of
the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gntly at first and then
ever so firmly... tighter and tighter !!!

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of
the 10 centsch, whih the woman deftly catches in her free hand,
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and
walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes
over to the woman and starts thanking her, saying,"I've ever seen anyone
do anything like that before. It was fantastic. Are you a doctor>"

"No," said the woman, "I'm with the Australian Taxation Office.
<><>

One from my son John named AFL vs NRL the football codes we have

36 have been accused of spouse abuse
7 have bee arrested for fraud.
19 have bee accused of writing bad cheques.
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit.
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have bee arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently are defendants in lawsuits and
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is AFL or NRL>


Neither.

I 's the 535 members of the AUSTRALIAN PARLIAMENT in CANBERRA>

The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year,
designed to keep the rest of us in line.
<><>

Last one for today- I thought I would do this during the day time with
better light etc, But it has been a grey day with pouring rain at times
so I have my light on - so defeated m purpose. I hope there are not
too many errors.

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all the rascally
behaviour going on. He sent one of His angels to earth to look into it.
When the angel returned, he told God, "Yes it's bad on Earth:
95 5 are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God was not pleased so He decided to e mail the 5% that were good
because He wanted to encourage them and give them a little
something to help keep them going.



Do you know what the E mail said?


Okay, I was only wondering. I didn't get one either.
<><>

Well that is enough for today my friends, I hope you found something of interest
and maybe a chuckle or two. Take good care of yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 736 ~ ~ Sunday, 22nd May 2011.
<><><>

16 comments:

audrey` said...

It's very great to know that you're feeling better each day, dearest friend Merle :) Yes, please take it easy and steady.

The story on the CEO and seed is so uplifting. Courage and honesty are so essential nowadays.

Take care. Much love and blessings to you <3

Gledwood said...

Hi Merle, I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm not surprised you're annoyed. I would be annoyed to be 77 too, especially if my kidneys misbehaved on me the way yours have. I think I will be a miserable old so-&-so when I get to your age... I can imagine it now. So I think you've handled yourself with a great deal of dignity. Thanks for the messages
:-)

XXXXXXX

Jack K. said...

Merle, what good news, you are on the mend. Keep it up. We are all pulling for you. (That's American, meaning we all are cheering you on and sending you positive energy.)

Loved the jokes. They are priceless, as usual.

As for the seed story, it shows that Jim knows how to...

Serve with integrity, care about those he serves and share the love in his heart and soul.

What more could one ask?

Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

Hi Merle. I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better.

I loved the story about the CEO. It is such a wonderful reminder of how important honesty is.

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Hi Merle and pleased to meet you,
I see you in Gledwood's comments section often.
You're so cute I wanted to check your blog out.
You seem as sweet as sunshine.
j.

Theanne and Baron said...

And cheers to you Merle, it's so good to have you back! Loved the jokes! Prayers continue for your good health!

Jim said...

Hi Merle ~~ Big day almost here now! Being 77 is not real good but the alternative is more scary.

Speaking of that, and the lady who didn't get her paper and there wasn't anybody in church, our church was not so full today.

I told Mrs. Jim that maybe we had missed the rapture that had been predicted by the California (that explains it) minister. Us and the other few that were there. She smiled.

It's nice to be hearing from you again on Sunday evening.

Cheers,
..

Granny Annie said...

Merle, it doesn't take you long to get back on the horse once you fall off! Good to see your usual form and share your fun posts. Laughter is the best medicine so you keep us all healthy. I especially love the woman who now knows why no one was at church. I actually drove to church one Sunday after failing to remember the time change the night before and it took a minute to realize why no cars were in the parking lot yet.

Dave said...

It's great to see you back Merle! *Smiling*

Great post... lots of chuckles and smiles as always.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm so glad you're doing so well...and feeling back to some normalcy Merle. That's really all we ask out of our days isn't it?

Thinking about you...and sending you much love dear friend... ~Joy xo

Deborah Wilson said...

Dear Merle,

Cruising down here this morning to wish you a Happy Birthday!!

[hugs and kisses]

Lady Di Tn said...

Loved the Senior demanding her Sunday paper. That was really good about the CEO and usually that is the case. one honest man among many. Are you sure that was your parliament and not our US government (just pick a section). BTW I didn't get an email either. Peace

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Happy (belated) birthday Merle!!!!

Merle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Dave T said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes, Merle. All the best birthdays are in May, I think. Your's too. So happy birthday to the both of us.

Loved that story about the Sunday paper. I'm sure I've done something similar though; I do remember dressing up for Halloween on the wrong day when I was in grade school. Very embarrassing.

Glad you're feeling better. Seventy seven is getting up there but my father is 81 and my mother is close behind. Then there's my dad's mom who is 99. So you're the youngster in that bunch.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I'm so glad you back and feel a little better at least. Please take it easy and I hope your well soon.

I enjoyed the seed story.

Janice~