Sunday, August 19, 2012

Please Keep it Going.

Post  796  ~ ~ ~ Sunday,  19th  August,  2012.

Hello Everyone ~~ Well yesterday was so cold here it wasn't funny.  Our top temp reached only 10 C which is about 50 F and it rained heavily all day and looked so dreary.  I had the heater on full blast with a rug on my shoulders as well.  The wind was so strong it was blowing things around and even rattling doors. Today was much better, thankfully.  

I felt so sorry for my little granddog Fluff who I am minding while John rides to Alice Springs with about 400 other riders in support of the Black Dog which is the name of a group that supports mental depression. John doesn't have Fluff inside, so that means I can't either.  That wouldn't be fair to either one of them. She has a nice warm bed and plenty of food and drink and doesn't even look like tripping me.  I love having her and it will be for a week.

There are about 400 riders going to Alice Springs which is a long way away in the Northern Territory and is probably best known for the case of the Chamberlain baby being taken by a dingo many years ago now.  It is almost 6000 kilometers from here and they stay a couple of nights each way along the way. The idea is to raise money but also to make awareness of depression and where to get help for it.

I hope all is good in your lives and your health as good as can be expected.  Mine is good
at present and I am getting around quite well for which I am eternally grateful.  It still takes me ages to get all my meals into me and my shower takes awhile. Seem to always be eating
so that is finished for the day.  Actually it is 11.30  Saturday night. 

So Onward and Upward !!!  First item from Warren called "PLease Keep it Going. Thanks.

 Please keep it going

This has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 22
million people.

If you don't want to sign that's fine, but in order not to lose any names, just hit forward and send it on.

Please keep it going!

To show your support for Prime Minister Gillard and the great job she
is doing please go to the end of the list and add your name. ..

1. Tim Mathieson

<><>He is the "First Bloke" as he is Julia's partner for those overseas readers.<><>

 Next one from my cousin Karyn in New Zealand called "Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns".  Thanks  Karyn.

 Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no
debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is
faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,

 Some Blonde Men jokes from my friend Lee in Queensland.  Thanks Lee.


A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a
police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains
the next time you & your wife are having sex.

The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because
I wasn't even at home yesterday."

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the

He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and
I've just got mine wet."

A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.

"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".

The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone

"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"

A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to
swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in
the road.

The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.

His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy!" he replies.

A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by
his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"It should be around your neck" says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".

(This one actually makes

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall
backwards off their boats?"

To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be
in the boat."


General Eisenhower Warned Us.[It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General  Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all  possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding  villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the  dead.

He did this because he said in words to this effect:

'Get  it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere  down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never  happened.'

This week, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust  from its school curriculum because it 'offends' the Muslim population which  claims it never occurred. It is not removed as yet. However, this is a  frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each  country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years after the  Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial  chain, in memory of the, six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million  Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests Who were murdered, raped, burned,  starved, beaten, experimented on and humiliated' while many in the world  looked the other way!

Now, more than ever, with Iran , among others,  claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it is imperative to make sure the world  never forgets.

This e-mail is intended to reach 400 million people! Be a link in  the memorial chain and help distribute this around the world.

How many  years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center


because it offends some Muslim???

Do not just delete  this message; it will take only a minute to pass this  along.
Last one tonight as I need my beauty sleep.
Sent by my friend Jeanette called "New Shop"Thanks Jan.

Two businessmen in the centre of Perth were sitting down for a
break in their soon-to-be new shop...

As yet, the shop wasn't ready,
with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, 
"I bet any minute now some pensioner 
is going to walk by, 
put their face to the window, 
and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth
when, sure enough, 
a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, 
and in a soft voice asked,

"What are you selling here?" 
One of the men replied sarcastically, 
"We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, 
Must be doing well... 
Only two left."  <><>

Well it is Sunday now, so I am off to a nice warm bed, my friends. I hope you found something of interest.  Take good care of yourselves and each other.
My love and best wishes to you all.  Cheers,  Merle.

Post  796  ~ ~ ~ Sunday,  19th  August,  2012.



jel said...

DH and I got a good laugh out of some of them. :)

wish it was 50, and raning !

take care

Granny Annie said...

It is great to finally have some blonde man jokes:)

Glad the visiting grand-dog is not tripping you.

This sign you mentioned was indeed posted on the door of a shop at Harwin Central Mall in Houston, Texas in September 2009. However, aside from the date, the sign has no relationship whatsoever with the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Imam Ali, the person named on the offending sign, was not one of the September 11 hijackers as claimed in the protest message. In fact, Imam Ali is a holy man much venerated in the Islamic religion and he is viewed by Muslims as the successor to Muhammad himself. Imam Ali died hundreds of years ago in the year 661 AD.

Jim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim said...

Oh yes, stay warm. And poor Fluff.

But then 50/13 really isn't too hard on him. As the vet told Mrs. Jim when she worried about Adi getting too cold, the vet said, "it's okay, after all she IS a dog."

Jim said...

Hi Merle ~~ I like your blonde man jokes. Well, pretty well but of course they are never as good as your blonde (lady) jokes.

I like Karyn's contribution. I might add it to my Ask Dr. Jim (blog) if it would be okay. I am not sure though I might not or might change it some.
BTW, thank you for peeking in on me and for leaving your nice comment about the Legos.

That comment was my 200,000th recorded comment. The first recorded was on December 1, 2005.
By recording, I mean that I save the e-mailed copies of every one. Some are my own when I answer. It includes all of the blogs I have ever written except two which had a total of eight comments that I didn't save.

Mountain Mama said...

I'm glad to hear you are doing well. Love your jokes too, especially the blonde guy, hahaha.
We are having a cool down after several very hot days. It feels nice actually.
I had a big deer get into my garden a few nights ago. It ate my green beans and my shell beans and destroyed a little Honey Crisp apple tree. I put some fish net up over the gate it had come over and it tried again around 2am this morning. I was awakened by a loud bang and crashing sound on the side of my house and I know what it was. The deer didn't see the fishnet and rammed into it. It tore the net but I was able to get it back up. I hope the beast will stay away now.
Keep on being well Merle.
Love you

Merle said...

Thanks to Granny Annie for advising the article Posted about Iman Ali was incorrect, It has now been removed.

Lee said...

I hope you and Fluff are having a great time together, Merle! And I hope all is well with you.

You are sounding great! Hugs!

audrey` said...

It's very good to know that you're getting stronger each day. Please keep yourself warm during the cold weather, Merle. Take care, my dear friend. God bless! :)

Dave said...

Sorry I'm so late this week Merle... but I'm sorry you were so cold, hopefully it's warmer this weekend for you and the dog.

Loved the jokes, especially the blonde scuba diving one!

Gina E. said...

looking forward to your weekly post tomorrow night, Merle - you always seem to find some good stuff to post! Love the 'keep it going' joke - but you knew I would, lol!
It's still cold, but hey, we are still in winter mode. Ken has been in hospital for a few days, but is home now. Not good news about his lungs...aren't you glad you never smoked? Well I'm assuming you didn't!
Take care ;-)

Big Dave T said...

Not sure I've heard blond men jokes before. They were funny though, even if my wife, my son, his wife and my grandson are all blond. Not me.

I think I heard about that dingo story just recently, something about how they now believe it happened just like the mother said.

It's very warm here today but I suspect soon we'll be getting some colder weather. But right now down south they're worried about a hurricane.

Politics is politics no matter what country you're in. I hate them politicians.