Saturday, September 01, 2012

Letter from Scout Camp.





Post  798 ~ ~ ~ Sunday,  2nd  September,  2012.

Hello my friends,  I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives. I am well and content. I enjoyed having Fluff for 2 weeks, and I miss her now. She sure was happy to see John, so she will be back to her normal routine and home.
My lady who takes me shopping had a dental appointment on Tuesday morning and as a result my shopping was put off until Friday afternoon.  So I was very tired, going from . 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. and was tired before we went. After I had everything put away, I was very tired, so had a lazy day on Saturday.
 Well, Spring has sprung and we have had a couple of nice days. I am hoping we get a lot more and some warmer ones as I feel the cold very much now. I shivered all day on Friday as it was a cold day. I was glad to get home to my heater.I have to make some more meals tomorrow.  I bought a cooked chicken and have to do lots of veggies. Also some nice pies, with mashed potato on top, so there is my meat and potatoes, so will cook some pumpkin broad beans and brussell sprouts, 
My dear friend Jeanette sent me this first one - an oldie but a good one. Thanks Jan. It is called  "A Letter From  Scout Camp."
Dear Mum,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue helicopters. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put petrol on a fire, it will blow up?
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.
 Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a super bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast , so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. 
He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and
 buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
<><>

Montain Wings provided the next one.

   Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-----------------------------------

The Weakest Link
=================

Below are three questions.
Answer them instantly.
You can't take your time.
Answer them immediately.
No pencil or paper!

OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever you really are.

Ready?

GO!!!

FIRST QUESTION:
You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?

ANSWER: If you answer that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place,
you are second!

Try not to mess up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you
took for the first question.  (You know you took too much time.)

SECOND QUESTION:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

ANSWER: If you answered that you are second to last, then you
are wrong again.

Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!

LAST QUESTION:
Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

ANSWER: Nunu? Nana? Nene? NONO!  Of course not.
The fifth daughter's name is Mary.  Read the question again.

You ARE the WEAKEST LINK!!

Pass this along to someone else who could stand a little fun and
a challenge today. 
<><>
 
My good friend Lady Di sent the next one. Thank you Dianne
for  "To Stimulate Your Thinking."
 
 
 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first
 child was named April.The second child was named May. What
 was the third child's name?

 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five
 feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What
 does he weigh?

 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest      mountain in the world?
              
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measurestwo feet by three feet by four feet?
 
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
 
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthdayis always in the summer. How is this possible?
 
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a
        man with a wooden leg. Why not?
 
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
 
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the
        person in second place, what place would you be in now?
 
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg
        are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
 
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4
        haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he
        have if he combined them all in another field?

Here are the answers

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May.What was the third child's name?  Answer: Johnny of course

 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five
 feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?  Answer: Meat.

 3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the
 highest mountain in the world?

 Answer: Mt. Everest ; it just wasn't discovered yet.
  [You're not very good at this are you?]

 4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet
by three feet by four feet?      
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
 
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled
incorrectly?      Answer: Incorrectly
 
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is
always in the summer. How is this possible?      
Answer:
Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
 
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? 
     
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg.You need a camera (or a cell phone) to take pictures.
 
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?      
 Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ....]
 
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in
second place, what place would you be in now?      
Answer:
You would be in second.. Well, you passed the person in
second place, not first.
 
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are
white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?      
Answer:
Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
 
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4
haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he
have if he combined them all in another field?      Answer:
One. If he combines all of his haystacks,they all become
one big stack.
<><> 
 
My cousin Karyn in New Zealand sent me this quickie Thanks Karyn. 
 
Subject: Sex at 75

I just took a leaflet out of my letterbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 75!


  
I'm sooooo happy, because I live at number 67
.....and it's not far to walk!
<><>
 
My good friend Patricia sent this next one called 
"Thinking About Your Health".  Thanks Patty.
 
This is alarming!
Beer contains female hormones!....................
Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!    
 
Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. 
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.  
 
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period. 

 It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,  yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously 
wrong. 
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally,and
8) Had to sit down while urinating.  
No further testing was considered necessary! 
Cheers!
<><>
 
Finally from the newspaper a recipe for a Banana and Strawberry 
Smoothie.   Serves 1.
 
Ingredients
100 grams reduced fat strawberry yogurt
1/2 cup of reduced fat milk.
1 medium banana, chopped
1/2 cup strawberries
 
Method
Process all ingredients in a blender until smooth.
Pour into a tall glass and serve.
<><>
 
Time to close now my friends until next week. I hope you found
something of interest, and maybe a laugh  or two.  Take great care of yourselves and each other. Enjoy all the beautiful things provided for us in this wonderful world.
My love and best wishes to you all.  Cheers, Merle.
 
Post 798 ~ ~ ~Sunday,  2nd  September, 2012.
<><><>

  

8 comments:

Nicholas Temple said...

Thanks for giving me some smiles, Merle. If I received that letter from camps as a parent I'd be in my car heading for the camp grounds faster than a woodchuck can chuck wood. BTW, I git all of the Weakest Link questions correct in the less an second each.

Theanne said...

Hi Merle...I loved them all...especially the boy scout camp one! I laughed through the whole thing...I'd have been in my car on the way there after the first disaster reported ;)))) LMAO

happy Sunday, love and hugs, Theanne

Big Dave T said...

Love to hear you cook. Those meat pies sound scrumptious. And I remember from reading what your granddaughter cooked that you make good use of pumpkins as well.

I read that some Australian heiress, very rich, said that if we want to become as rich as she is we need to work harder and drink less. Wonder if that's true.

I did okay on those quiz questions, but some I missed.

audrey` said...

Yes, spring is here finally. The temperature will get warmer. Then it'll be more comfortable for you, my dearest friend. Take care, Merle (((HUGS)))

Lady Di Tn said...

KJ is back and I did so enjoy your post. Sounds like you have had a fun 2 weeks with Fluffy. The leaves on the trees are being to fall here so as we head into fall your spring is arriving.You need to practice pointing so the kids will know exactly where you wish things to be planted. LOL Peace

Lee said...

John is just going to have to go away more often, Merle...so you can have Fluff! ;)

That smoothie looks yummy! Take care, Merle...keep warm. :)

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm so glad Spring has finally come your way Merle....I don't take the cold weather as well as I use to either. We still have some pretty hot weather right now, but also some nice 70's days too.

I can imagine how you miss Fluff...kind of keeps things busy. Stay well and happy dear friend. Much love, Joy

Granny Annie said...

I had to steal the "Sex at 75" joke for my facebook page.