Hello to my friends ~~ It is good to be with you again and I hope this finds you well and
happy with your lives. I am well and content. Still sleep a lot, but manage to do the necessary and just leave the other jobs for "tomorrow". Oh boy is that going to be one
very busy day -- that tomorrow. I am very late starting tonight, so won't dilly- dally any longer. Let's just get on with it.
There are three from Mountain Wings, the title one and a couple of quickies. Enjoy.
Someone Was Watching ====================== We live in a small town in Northumberland, near the sea and right next to the woodland. Sounds great eh? It was until our recent addition. Our baby is now one year old. Around a month ago, someone knocked on my door holding my baby boy and telling me that he was standing in the road, waving at the cars. I was devastated; the thoughts of what could have been tortured my imagination. We built a fence. Two weeks ago, I was in the hallway talking on the phone when someone knocked at my door. They were holding my son, who, we now discovered had learned how to open the front door. We put an extra latch lock onto the door. Tonight, we went shopping; we came home and were unloading the car. My husband brought the baby in. As usual, everyone thought someone else was watching him, someone was. A man knocked at our still open door and handed to us our baby boy, gurgling and laughing at us, saying "CAR." I can not tell you how small I felt, devastated yet again. We are now selling our house and hoping to move to a house where there is no busy road outside. We have all learned a lesson, we need to be more vigilant; three times lucky, our luck is running out! What about next time? Even if we were stupid, a family of five and our precious baby escaping! Someone was watching, and I think you know who kept him safe. ~A MountainWings Original by a MountainWings subscriber in the United Kingdom~
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T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak
============================
Think gefore you speak
is it True?
is it Helpful?
is it Inspiring?
is it Necessary?
is it Kind?
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HONKING.
Honking ======== A church board member was driving home when he came up on a heavy traffic jam. Even though traffic was at a standstill, the driver behind him kept honking and honking. In the tension of the moment, the board member gets out of his car, walks to the car behind him and punches the driver in the face. Walking back to his car, he walks by his own bumper and his eyes glance down upon a bumper-sticker stuck to his own car that read, "Honk if you love Jesus!"
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Next one from my good friend Jan called "Heaven". Thanks Jan.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'
The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book....
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump,' said the man.
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
Soooo. Now you see, sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how.... you forward stuff.
A 'forward' lets you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for.
So, next time if you get a 'forward', don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are welcome at my water bowl anytime !!
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My dear friend Karen in the U.S. sent me a list that her Mom has. Thanks Karen and Karen's Mom..........
LAWS.....
1.
Law of
Mechanical
Repair - After
your hands
become coated
with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every
time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones
who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the
toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game
is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have
long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and
cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make
an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
If you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes
your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.
Really.... It's true
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every
time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones
who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the
toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game
is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have
long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and
cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make
an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
If you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes
your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.
Really.... It's true
I have my doubts about that last one, but let's not take any chances !!!!!
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A couple of Pearly Gates ones. First "Caught Deacons".
Here is today's PearlyGates item. Caught Deacons Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make? God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon answered, "Yeah, but God won't tell my wife."
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Here is today's PearlyGates item. The Next One After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
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One from my good friend Patricia in the U.S. Thanks Patty.
Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large -
break dancing, moon-walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says:
"Looks like he's still celebrating!!!
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Well my friends, it is time to close tonight as it is officially 12.30 am on Monday here, so I had better get to bed. I will get to replies tomorrow I hope.
Sunday was Remembrance Day here and many other countries.
We will never forget those who paid the supreme price for our freedom. R.I.P.
Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. My love and best wishes to
you all. Find some joy in each day. Cheers, Merle.
Post 808 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 11th November, 2012.
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7 comments:
Thanks for the smiles this Sunday morning. I have been absent due to surgery. Well actually two surgeries. The first planned, the second due to heart attack while in recovery from the first. It is nice to be back in blog land and doing some catch up. Glad to hear you are well.
Hi Merle! It's so nice to read your weekly post every weekend. Glad to know that you're doing well.
Someone once told me that our household chores are endless. We just need to take care of ourselves first. Some of the chores can wait :)
Love and (((HUGS))) to you my very dear friend!
Thanks for the smiles as I sure needed them. I am still running a gambit of emotions from our horrible election. Take care of yourself and keep pretending to be Scarlet O'Hara. I for one dust if I must but it will be here after I am gone. Peace be with you. Wishing you ENOUGH. LOVE
It's good to be a Mexican every so often, Merle...when you can put things off until manyana! I'm always an inhabitant of "South of the Border"! ;)
As Lady Di says...one day you can be Scarlett and the other you can don your sombero and do the Mexican Hat Dance...or perhaps you could do it tomorrow! ;)
Take good care, Merle...I'll cease my nonsensical rambling for now! Hugs!
Hi Merle, loved the stories and jokes. Very true laws too, especially that law of probability. I can illustrate that one myself. I went to vote for President at the very crowded gym. Had to pass by many stations where folks were sitting too. Didn't realize till I got back home that my fly was undone on my trousers. Terrible!
Hi Merle ~~ Good ones as usual. And I am glad that the world is treating you well.
Your laws were all good. I think true too. I was in the my hair lady today all covered with wrap and everything and my head started to itch. I had to uncover and scratch it.
My folks had to put an extra latch lock onto their porch door. That was my sleeping room after my sister was born and got the second bedroom (two bedroom, four room, house).
I am not sure how or why they did, but my folks would find me sleepwalking in the barn. The new latch was a high hook and I guess it wasn't where my mind remembered in my sleep.
Cheers,
..
Great post as always Merle... hope your computer is fixed soon!
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