Friday, March 09, 2007

Someone Else.

Post 161 - - - - - - Friday, 9 th March, 2007.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope the world is treating you nicely and that you are looking forward to the weekend. It is Friday night here, so my weekend is almost here.
Mind you, the days are mostly the same for me, so I guess I am lucky. I must
remember to get that Lottery ticket !!

The first item tonight is called "Someone Else." Hope you like it.

Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued
member, Someone Else.

Someone's passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Else has been with us for many years and for every one of those years, Someone did more than a normal person's share of the work. Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a
meeting to attend, one name was on everyone's list, "Let Someone Else do it." Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for
inspiration as well as results; "Someone Else can work with that group."

It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the most liberal givers in our church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed Someone Else would make up the difference.

Someone Else was a wonderful person; sometimes appearing superhuman. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else. Now Someone
Else is gone ! We wonder what we are going to do.

Someone Ese left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it ? Who
is going to do the things Someone Else did ?

When you are asked to help this year, remember - - - we can't depend on Someone
Else anymore.
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The first joke is called " Ten Dollars."

Every year, Smitty and his wife Martha went to the State Fair. And every year, Smitty
would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year, Martha
would reply, "I know Smitty, but that airplane costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

This one year, Smitty and Martha went to the Fair and Smitty said, " Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year, I may never get another chance."

Martha replied, " Smitty, that there airplane costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten
dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, " Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up
for a ride. If you can stay quiet the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge
you, but if you say one word, then it's ten dollars." Smitty and Martha agreed and up
they went.

The pilot performed all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He even does a nose dive, pulling up 15 feet above the ground, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Smitty. "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Smitty replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, . . . . . but.. .
ten dollars is ten dollars."
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An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both
church members, to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered into his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The preacer grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a while no one said anything.

Both the banker and the lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed,
covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come ?"

The old preacher mustered up all his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died
between two thieves; and that's how I want to go."
<><><>

A little guy was sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink for about a half-hour. A big
trouble making truck driver comes up to him; takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here I will buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late
for an important meeting and my boss fired me."

When I left the building to go to my car, I found it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I had paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I had left my wallet in the cab.

I got home, only to find my wife with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
<><><>
Well, that is it for tonight. Take great care my friends and enjoy your lives.
Be happy , Bye until next time, Cheers and Love to all, Merle.

Post 161 - - - - - - Friday, 9 th March, 2007.
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14 comments:

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

very funny jokes. I think I like the one about the preacher best! :)


Junie

Tammy said...

I'm glad it's Friday and didn't have any luck with my lotto ticket...dadgumit!!
I need that money...don't they know that???
:-D

Big Dave T said...

Hee, hee. Ten dollars is ten dollars. I liked that one.

Hea, I wanted to tell you that I was checking the sitemeter on my blog the other day and I had a visitor from Kazakhstan (formerly part of Russia).

Wow! Never had a visitor from there before. Anyway, I checked to see what brought him to my blog and I found out he was looking for "European swingers." Yikes. I did a blog on my old Poloroid Swinger camera once and it has been drawing folks looking for "swingers" (not cameras either) ever since.

Anyway, he was on my blog for a few minutes and outclicked on YOUR blog. So you had a guy from a former Russian state probably checking your blog over for swingers too.

Christina said...

love the airplane joke, and the "someone else" thing was really good too!

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- I liked the "Someone Else" story the best. It seems there is always a Someone Else someplace around, maybe we shouldn't worry.

Something happened to your link list, it got to be big type and I'm not on it anymore? @!%!**#~@#!!
A string of them:
@!%!**#~@#!!;
@!%!**#~@#!!;
@!%!**#~@#!!; and
@!%!**#~@#!!.
..

Peter said...

Hi Merle, back on line at Bruce's for a few days, for some reason I couldn't get my laptop on line at Marcus and Carolyn's so had to queue up with everyone else for a turn on their's.
Good to see you are back in fine form, (I've pinched a couple of bits!) remind me to talk to you about "because" when I get to your place, see ya soon.

Raggedy said...

G'day Merle,
I read post 160 and 161 today. I am glad your shopping trip went well. The plants you picked up sound lovely. I am glad you are in some cooler weather. I sent you an email regarding post 160 please read it when you get a chance. I hope you pick out the winning lottery ticket and your weekend is fabulous!
I enjoyed both of your posts.
Cheers and Take Care,
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy

Lee said...

Have a good weekend, Merle...thanks again for the laughs. :)

Lucy Stern said...

"You do it" will have to take "Someone Else's" jobs...

PEA said...

Dearest Merle,

We'll be putting our clocks ahead one hour Sunday morning at 2 a.m. and although that's 3 weeks earlier than usual, I'm quite looking forward to having longer daylight!!

"Someone Else" is such a beautiful story and one we can learn from! And then there's poor Martha who fell out of the plane...hehe! Loved the other jokes too:-)

Have a wonderful weekend my friend! xox

mreddie said...

Glad you were able to be out and about to get your shopping done. I have heard it said about the lottery - you can't win if you don't buy a ticket. :) Wow, it's probably already Sunday there since it's Saturday afternoon here. ec

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Ha ha! And you showed up and drank my poison!

Good one!

Janice~

Penless Thoughts said...

Drop by from PEA site to take a look. Thanks for the laughs.

HORIZON said...

Poor Martha-lol. Where do you find the time to type so much out on each post? l really take my hat off to you dear Merle.
l am enjoying our weekend. We did lots of cleaning yesterday so today we are taking it easy.
Much love