Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Am Thankful.

Post 321- - - - - Tuesday, 25th September, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~I hope that all is going well for you, wherever you are.
All good here, my Home Care lady came today, so all is tidy again, with
fresh bedclothes which are always a treat. My lawns also got cut today,
by the chap who came a couple of weeks ago. So all looking reasonable
for the visit from my blogging friends, Connie, Jeanette, Gwen and Jen's
sister Pauline the day after tomorrow. We are all looking forward to it.

I would like to wish Sandy a very Happy Birthday - it was on the 24th
and I should have mentioned it yesterday. Have a great celebration
Sandy with many happy returns.

This first item was sent to me by two good friends, so I hope you enjoy.
Thank you very much Barbara and Sherrill.

I am thankful :

For the wife who says it's hot dogs tonight,
Because she is home with me and not out with someone else.

For the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato,
Because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

For the Teenager who is complaining about doing dishes,
Because it means she is safe at home, not on the streets.

For the Taxes I pay
Because it means I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party,
Because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug,
Because it means I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work,
Because it means I am out in the sunshine.

For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need
cleaning, and Gutters that need fixing
Because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining I hear about the Government,
Because it means we have freedom of speech.

For the Parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot,
Because it means I am capable of walking and I have been
blessed with Transportation.

For my hugh heating bill,
Because it means that I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church who sings off key,
Because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing,
Because it means I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day,
Because it means I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning,
Because it means that I am alive.

And finally for too much e-mail,
Because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.

Live well, Laugh often, and Love with all of your heart.

First joke tonight came from my dear friend Carole - who
is a blonde !! Thanks Carole.

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around
9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared
up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on and the
news crew was covering a story about a man on the ledge of
a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob says, "You know, I bet he did jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed a $20
bill on the bar and said, "You're on !"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the
ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The
blonde was very upset, but willingly handed over her $20 to Bob,
saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the
5 PM news and so I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money !!

There was a knock on the door. Mr Jones sighed and said to his
wife : "I bet it's that Bloggis fellow from next door wanting to
borrow half the things in our house."

"I know, dear," replied Mrs Jones. "But why do you have to give
in to him every time? Why not make some excuse so he can't
borrow whatever he's come to borrow ?"

"Good idea !" agreed Mr Jones and he went and opened the door
to Bloggis.
"Good morning," said Bloggis. "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I
wondered if you would be using your garden shears this afternoon?"

"I'm afraid that I will," responded Mr Jones. "In fact, my wife and I
will be spending the whole afternoon gardening."

"That's what I thought," said Mr Bloggis. "Now I know you'll be too
busy to use your golf clubs, so perhaps you won't mind if I borrow
them ?"

A lady was having an argument with her maid. Before leaving the
room the maid decided to say exactly what she thought.

"You might like to know," she said, "that your husband told me
only last week that I was a far better housekeeper and cook than
you are.
He also said I was much better looking !"
The lady remained silent.

"And that's not all," continued the maid, "I'm far better than
you in bed."

"I suppose my husband told you that as well," snapped the lady.
"No," replied the maid, The gardener did !!"

A shipwrecked sailor had been drifting about on a raft for weeks,

when one day he suddenly sighted land. As he came closer to
the shore he saw a group of people on the beach building a gallows.

"Thank God," cried the shipwrecked sailor, "A Christian country !"

You can always tell when politicians are lying - their lips move.

Three dishevelled, bearded men sat forlornly upon their empty
upturned beer barrels as the sea waves lapped at their feet on the
edge of their desert island. Having been imprisoned there for the
last three years, the first man stretched his arms and yawned just
to break the monotomy. The second pretended he had a comb and
began to comb while the third looked down with a smile on his face.

Toying away with his big toe was a bottle bobbing about in the water.
The man picked it up and seeing it was empty was about to throw it
back into the sea when he decided to take out the cork.

Immediately a puff of smoke appeared and a Genie came from the
bottle. "I have been enslaved for 1000 years. For your good deed
you can each have one wish. Think it over carefully because it is
the only one you will get."

Giving it some thought, the first man wished he could be with the
prettiest woman in the world. A swish was heard and he was gone.

"You might not believe this," said the second man, but as my wife
was lost in the shipwreck, and I always had a fancy for the sister in
law .
. . I wish I could be with her right now." Another swish was
heard and he was gone.
"Now said the Genie, looking at the sad third man, "What is your
wish ?"
"Well, I've been thinking it over, " he said, " and I'm going to miss
those two. So I wish that they were back here with me."

A final swish was heard and the Genie disappeared, leaving three
shipwrecked men sitting beside the sea on upturned barrels, kjust
as they were before the Genie arrived.

I wouldn't say my husband was stupid -- but when he went to a
mind reader, they gave him his money back.

My husband believes so devoutly in reincarnation his Will leaves
everything to himself.

My husband is so thin, when he goes to the park, the ducks throw
him bread.

A few quotes to close with. - - -

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama.

All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness.
- - - Horace Friess.

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others, cannot keep it
from themselves. - - - James M. Barrie.

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
- - - Henry David Thoreau.

Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self gratification, but through fidelity
to a worthy purpose. - - - Helen Keller.

On life's journey faith is nourishment, virtuous deeds are a shelter,
wisdom is the light by day and right mindfulness is the protection
by night. If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him.
- - - - Buddha.

Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways. Anon.

Bye for now my friends. Look after yourselves and each other.
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 321 - - - - - Tuesday, 25th September, 2007.


Lady Di Tn said...

I think the I am Thankful is great. I would have taken the money just like Bob. Ha ha

Thanks I am better and so far no one else was subjected to the beastly virus.

I will be busy this week "Driving Mz. Mimi" She has a couple of routine dr appt and Wed is hair day. I usually can run errands while she is getting her hair done and I plan to take my sketch pad and pencils with me to sketch the unsuspecting people in the waiting room.

Sounds like a gran day planned with fellow bloggers. Have Fun.

love and prayers

daffy said...

Hello again Merle, I just wanted to say that after a hard day at work and coming home to feed 6 children (only two of which are mine ;o) and then having a quick tidy round to make the place look respectable, reading your entry is pure relaxation and enjoyment and I'm very pleased I found your place here! Thanks for the lovely words. I think that Horace Friess might have been onto something! :o).

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
I just know you'll have a wonderful time visiting with all those blogging buddies :) Take lots of pictures !!
Loved Pea's joke! Too funny!

Lee said...

I've always thought how wonderful it would be to have clean, fresh sheets on the bed every single day. If I ever win the lotto (in my dreams!) I'll pay someone to come in every day and look after that department for me! ;)

deborah wilson said...

hahaha - Another good blonde joke...I'm sitting here thinking how lucky I am to have a little red in my hair...

:)Have a good day, Merle!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

My “home care lady” came yesterday and went shopping for me because again it is too hot and humid for me to drive around. At the moment I’m eating the Rocky Road ice cream I had her buy. Yummy!

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

I am thankful for blogging friends like you, whose inspirational, cheerful words get off on a good start every morning!

How nice that you will get to visit with blogging friends. As Susie said, I look forward to reading all about it. I know you'll really enjoy your time together.

Warmest regards,


Renie Burghardt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Granny said...

Merle, sorry I'm behind on reading. My eyes have been bothering me a little and I'm doing the computer in short spurts.

Love the jokes as always.

And thanks for the reminder about Sandy. I dropped over and wished her a belated Happy Birthday.

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Have a very blessed day with your blogging friends =)
Enjoy yourself!