Saturday, October 13, 2007

A Hug Certificate.

Post 337 ~ ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 13th October, 2007.

Hello My Friends ~ ~ I hope the weekend is going well for
you all and that the weather is behaving nicely. It is too nice
here, we need rain badly before we head into the Summer
and Fire season. I have been busy cooking again today. If
we didn't have to eat, it would save us a lot of work.

I am so pleased with the job Mike did yesterday and Thursday.
It has freshened the place up quite a lot. I always like to pay for
any work done, but of course I got a very good price.

A very special blogging friend is having her 5oth birthday on
the 13th. She is a very popular blogger named Pea so I do
hope you have a wonderful birthday dear Carole and many
more of them. I cannot do fancy cards etc, but I have a
saying for you. Forty is the old age of youth, and fifty is
the youth of old age. Please pop over to wish her a happy
birthday. She has a beautiful blog full of fun and ideas.

Tonight's first item is called "A Hug Certificate" and was
sent a while back by Warren. It is nice. Thanks Warren.

A Hug Certificate for You.
If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you and
share with you it's beauty on the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain you could call your very own
A place to find serenity. A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea
But all these things I'm finding are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best, a friend who's always there.

Send this Hug Certificate to all your friends who need a hug.

You might send it to your enemies as well. It'll really tic 'em off.

If you don't receive this back, . . .nobody likes you and they
wish you would stop bugging them.

If you receive it back 1 time . . . Open it up. Find more friends,
or enemies or enemies pretending to be friends.
<><><>

Joke time now my friends ~ ~ ~ ~

A little guy is sitting at the bar, just staring at his drink for
half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps
next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," the
biker says. "I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between
sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late for
an important meeting, so my boss fired me.

"When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen
and I don't have any insurance. I grabbed a cab home, but
after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab.

At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my
dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the
courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and
drink my poison !!"
<><>

One day, Mary arrived home from work to find the children
bathed, a load of clothes in the washing machine and
another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully
set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and
she immediately wanted to know what was going on.

It turned out that her husband Charlie had read a magazine
article that suggested working wives would be more
romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to
do all the housework in addition to holding down a full time job.

The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office,
"How did it work out ?" they asked.
"Well it was a great dinner." Mary said, "Charlie even cleaned
up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry
and put everything away."

"But what about afterward ?" her friends wanted to know.
"Oh, that part didn't work out," Mary said, "Charlie was
too tired."
<><>

A man and woman were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You
should do it because you are up first, and then we don't have
to wait so long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I
can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides it is in the
Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . . .
"HEBREWS."
<><>
A guy rings up a home delivery pizza place and orders a thin
crusty supreme.
So they sent him Diana Ross !!
<><>

On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope
on the car seat, and her 4 year old daughter picked it up and
began playing with it.

"Wow," thought the doctor, "my daughter wants to follow in
my footsteps !!"

Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Welcome to
McDonald's. May I take your order ?"
<><>

Just before the funeral service, the undertaker came up
to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband ?"
"98," she replied, "two years older than me."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented,
She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it ?"
<><>

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over
here and help . . . I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't
figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks , "What's it supposed to be when it's
finished. "

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's
a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle
spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we
do we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into
anything resembling a rooster."

He held her hand, and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax.
Let's have a cup of coffee, and then . . . . " he sighed, "let's
put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."
<><>

Just one quote tonight from the Bible - - -

Love is patient. love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians. 13 : 4-8
<><>

Bye for now my friends, I hope you are all enjoying the
weekend and having lots of fun. Take care of yourselves
and your loved ones. Again, Happy Birthday Carole.
Love and Best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 337~ ~ ~ ~ Saturday, 13th October, 2007.
<><><>

14 comments:

Gledwood said...

If we didn't have to eat, it would save us a lot of work...

but imagine how boring life would be!

As for 1 Corinthians: I try to keep no record of wrongs... not because I'm ever so "righteous" but bc I learnt long ago that bearing hatred and grudges only burns up me the hater the most!!

Gledwood said...

I hope your weather does calm down soon... ours hasn't really. I was dripping with sweat the other day because I'd gone out in winter jacket etc and hat thinking it would be cold... it was intermediate temp and I ended up soaking with sweat!
I hope them trees get doused with some rain...
When I was v young I remember forest fires near Adelaide. There was a town called Cockatoo where the temperature was 1000 degrees; these kids were hiding in the SWIMMING POOL as it was the only place in their house to keep cool if the wind changed direction and the fires came any closer! Madness! (Well that's what the TV news reported...)

Mary said...

Here in southern Ontario we had a very dry summer. September was rather dry also, until the end of the month. Now we are getting more rain and hope you do too.

Take care and have a great day. I always get a laugh out of your jokes.

Mary

T*mmy said...

Just finished making a HUGE lunch myself...and you are right cooking is a lot of work...not to mention the clean-up...I think I've got dishpan hands now!

Have a great day!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Neat jokes, Merle. I needed the laughs after putting up with Alex all day.

Hope you get the rain you need; as autumn begins here in Kentucky, we are almost 12” below our normal annual rainfall.

Raggedy said...

G'day Merle,
Fantastic post! I left something for you over at my place.
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy

JunieRose2005 said...

Dear Merle,

Thanks again for a good post!


Love,

June

Joy Des Jardins said...

Hello sweet Merle...

Doing my little rain dance for you. Nice cool, crisp autumn day here today; but the leaves have yet to really turn color....I'm anxiously waiting. Hoping the rest of your weekend is good....toodles for now...

Jim said...

Hi Merle, if I knew how I would send you a Hug Certificate. That is a neat idea.

Blonde again was good, pretty far fetched for anyone but blonde.

I Mike runs out of work to do around your place he could come help me. I never will get caught up.
..

Gattina said...

I like the Hug certificate it's cute ! and lol to your jokes !

I also wanted to tell you that today I take the Cyber Cruise to the home of my friends in Italy which dates from 1462 ! So if you are interested to have a look ...

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
HEBREWS LOL
Here is your hug.
Sent you a fun test.
Peace be with you my friend.

Jeanette said...

Hi Dear Merle,Sending big hugs to you also,I bet Mike enjoys your home cooked meals, great jokes my vote tonight between the pre- schooler and the guy in the bar...

take care a warm day 29c forecast tomorrow... love Janxoxo

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Merle,

Love the quote about love, from the bible!

Hebrews is dunny! Well, all your jokes are funny, Merle. Now if I were still a blonde, instead of somewhat gray, I might not laugh as hard at the blonde jokes, but these days, I find them funny. Old age tickles a different funny bone, I guess.

Take care!

Renie

audrey` said...

50 is the youth of old age =)
How true...