Friday, October 12, 2007

The Wise Woman's Stone.

Post 336 - - - - - - Friday, 12th October, 2007.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope all is well at your place and that you
are getting close to a great weekend. It is Friday night here
so the Aussie weekend has almost arrived.

I have a young friend, Michael, who is the son of my best
friend who died a long time ago from cancer. Since then
Mike has more or less adopted me as another Mum. I
cook meals for him when I cook for myself and yesterday
he came to paint a ceiling in my guest room. He also got
rid of some flaking paint work on some cornices that have
been looking very unattractive for some time. He came
back today to finish the job and it all looks much nicer.

First tonight I have a short story - - Author Unknown.

The Wise Woman's Stone.
A wise woman, who was traveling in the mountains, found
a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another
traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her
bag to share her food.

The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the
woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.
The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune as he knew
the stone was worth enough to give him security for life.

But a few days later. he came back to return the stone to
the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know
how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope
that you can give me something even more precious.
Give me what you have within you that enabled you to
give me this stone."
<><>

To finish off Robyn 's Health Hints - - - -

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the
final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know
the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Australian, British or Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Australian, British and Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heat attacks than Australian, British and Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Australians, British and Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of
sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Australians, British or Americans.

CONCLUSION = = =

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you !!!
<><>

A blonde walks into a bank in New York and asks to
see the manager.
She says she is going to Hong Kong on business for
two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The manager says the bank will need some sort of security
for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new
Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,
and she has the title and everything checks out. The bank
agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The manager and the tellers all have a good laugh at the
blonde for using a $200,000 Ferrari as collateral for
a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds
to drive the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000
loan and the interest which comes to $15.41.

The manager says, "Miss, we are very happy to have
your business, and this transaction has worked out well,
but we are a little puzzled."

"While you were away, we had you checked out and
found out you are a millionairess. "What puzzles us is,
why would you bother to borrow $5,000 ?"

The blonde replies, " Where else in New York can I park
my car for two weeks for $15.41 and expect it to be there
when I return ?"

A win for the Blondes for a change !!
<><>

An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fitted up nice; picnic
tables. horseshoe courts, basketball courts, etc. The
pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming
when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the
pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He took a bucket to pick some nearby fruit. As he came
closer to the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing
with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young
women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, and
they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women
shouted out to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."

The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only
came to feed the alligator."

Moral : Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and
inexperience . . .
<><>

This guy lived on his own and was feeling a bit lonely, so he
goes to the pet shop to get something to keep him company.
The pet shop owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking
centipede. OK thought the man, I'll give it a go, so he bought
one and took it home.

That night, he decided to test out his new pet and said, "I'm
going to the pub for a drink, do you want to come too ?"
There was no reply.

He tried again, "Oi centipede, wanna come to the boozer with
me ?" No response.
So the man ranted and raved for a bit, but after a while decided
to give it one more try before he took it back to the shop. So he
took the lid off the box and repeated, "I said I'm going to the
pub for a drink, do you want to come ?"

"For goodness sake, I heard you the first time," snapped the
centipede. "I'm just putting my shoes on !!"
<><>

A man went to see a wizard about removing a curse that was
placed upon him. The wizard said to the man he could
remove the curse if he knew what exact words were used to
place the curse ?

The man replied, " I now pronounce you man and wife."
<><>

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours ?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "In- laws !!"
<><>

A few quotes to close with - - -

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure,
but I don't know many of them. - - Mark Twain.

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and
miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.-David Frost.

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
- - - Carol Burnett.

The only people who can change the world are people
who want to. And not everyone does. Hugh Macleod


Character is forged in the smallest of struggles. Then
when the big challenges come, we're ready. Waiter Rant.

Enough for tonight, my friends. Take care and look after
yourselves and your loved ones. Have a wonderful
weekend and share some smiles. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 336 - - - Friday 12th, October, 2007.
<><><>


13 comments:

Jim said...

Thank you, Merle, for this nice cheery post. I'm not sure I knew much about that Mike. Your friends and relatives are very nice to you.

It doesn't pay healthwise to be Australians, British or Americans, does it?

Your farmer and the ladies will get you a lot hits from Google and other search engines. That is because of the two words in this post, 'naked' and 'women.'

This might be the time to get SiteMeter if you don't have one. You could check on that. Every day (almost, it averages several a day) and this morning already, someone has Googled to my blog looking for a 'used shrimp boat for sale.'
Try that, most times I come up on the first Google page with it.

This was a nice to blondes blonde joke today. Thank you for that too.
..

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

The Wise Woman's Stone is a loverly story, Merle. Thank you for sharing it.

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Another good one. I have no idea how you come up with all these but hope your well is a deep one.

I am so glad your friends son is so kind to you. Tell him I will cook for him if he will come do some painting for me.

Our kitchen looks terrible shabby at the moment. Needs paint and a new floor. However, I hate to get into the task so close to the Holidays. We will just have to keep the company out of the kitchen this year.

peace be with you my friend.

T*mmy said...

I'm glad to hear you are doing well today and got some help with your painting!

I love Carol Burnett and loved the quote by her!

Love & Hugs to YOU!

Mary said...

Merle,

Thanks for the lift. I certainly enjoyed all of the jokes. The one about the farmer and the pond was hilarious. The one about the woman and the stone was perfect. You lifted my spirits.

Mary

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
I'm sure your best friend is smiling down at you for being a Mom to her son. What a wonderful relationship for both of you..
Love the precious stone story and had a good laugh at the speaking English joke!
Have a great weekend my friend.
xoxo

deborah wilson said...

Dear Merle,

More uplifting stories - I like the wise woman and the stone. I'm sure that Michael loves you just as his Mom did.

Yea for the blonde - lol..:)

Gina E. said...

Hi Merle,
Still grinning here over those jokes - just what I needed to cheer me up after a bad month - thank you!!

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Thanks for the laughs, and I don't know which I like the best. Well, maybe the rich blond.

Take care,
Janice~

Lee said...

How wonderful, Merle...you always are here for us...and that is wonderful. :)

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Merle,

How very nice that Michael comes to help you, and I'm sure he enjoys your cooking.

The Wise Woman's Stone is a very nice story.
Love the health hints.
Haha, on the farmer and the skinny dippers. And even a smart blonde this time!
Always enjoy my visit with you. It's my cup of cheer for the day.

I hope your weekend is going wonderfully well.

Warmest regards,

Renie

Donnak said...

Hi Merle! How are you doing? I think that's great that you and Mike help each other out and have that companionship.

I love that 'speaking english is what kills you' joke.

I like the Waiter Rant quote. :)

audrey` said...

Mike is a very helpful chap =)