Girlie Wisdom.

Post 369 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 21st November, 2007.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ I hope all is well in your world. All OK here, a little
busy. We have been to our last computer course tonight, and learnt
more tonight than in the previous 3 classes. So it was quite good, if I
remember all the things I heard. We take brief notes but "doing" is best.

Tonight I have a couple of pictures of my Fejoa tree, which is loaded
with flowers this year, and should have lots of fruit, which I love.



The tree is only small, the flowers are really nice, and the fruit delicious.


Tonight I will start with some "Girlie Wisdom" that my friend Pauline sent me.
Thanks, see you tomorrow.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and
forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 1 kg box of chocolates can make a woman gain 3 kgs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you
are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body
and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

Amazing ! You hang something in your wardrobe for a while and it shrinks
two sizes.

Skinny people irritate me !. Especially when they say things like . . . .
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat !" Now I have forgotten my address,
my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat.
You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat !

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills . . . . she
has fourteen kids but she doesn't really care.

My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day
after I said, " Body, how would you like to go th the six o'clock class of
vigorous toning ?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen bitch . . do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and
then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - - eating too
much; impulse buying; and driving too fast. Are they kidding ? That is my
idea of a perfect day !!
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My granddaughter, Samantha sent me some age jokes. Thanks Sam.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked,
"How old was your husband ?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So, you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it ?"
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Reporters interviewing a 104 year old woman :
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104 ?"
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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I've sure gotten old !
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts of dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends, But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
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I feel my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and
perspired for an hour.
But by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
preacher she had two final requests.
First she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted
her ashes scattered over Coles.
"Coles ? The preacher exclaimed. "Why Coles ?"
"Then I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."
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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
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Know how to prevent sagging ?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
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These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,
"For fast relief."

The Senility Prayer.
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference!!
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Always Remember This :
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.
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Just a few quotes before I close ~ ~ ~

Live Simply . . . Laugh Often . . . Love Deeply.

The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has
lost his enthusiasm. ~ ~ ~ H. W. Arnold.

Be kind to your children because they choose your
nursing home.

To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead
of the pencil, you're overdoing it. ~ ~ Josh Jenkins.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good
men to do nothing. ~ ~ ~ Edmund Burke.

That is it for tonight folks, hope to get back tomorrow.
Look after yourselves and each other. Take great care
and spread some smiles around. Love and best wishes
to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 369 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 21st November, 2007.
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