Sunday, February 10, 2008

Mental Feng Shui.

Post 407 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 10th February, 2008.

Hello Everyone ~~ The Aussie weekend is all but over and I am
happy to say we have had a few days of mid 20 C which is mid 70F
and very pleasant. I hope those who are still having some weekend
enjoy it immensely and that your weather is a little less severe.

I hope the tornadoes have subsided for the time being and things
settling down for all those affected by them. It was just great to
see that little toddler found safe in Tennessee and in the arms of his
grandmother.

Below is a lovely bouquet of roses that my friend Leann has
given to all her blogging friends. Thank you Leann, they are
lovely. Hope you are doing well yourself.

Tonight I have an article sent by my friend Gwen and there
is some good advice in it. Thank you Gwen.

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

3. Don't believe all you hear; spend all you have, or sleep all
you want.

4. When you say, "I love you" mean it.

5. When you say "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least 6 months before you get married.

7. Believe in Love at First Sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't
have dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but
it;s the only way to live life ~~ completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to
answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know ?"

14. Remember that great love and great achievements
involve great risk.

15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

16. When you lose, don;t lose the lesson.

17. Remember the three R's. It's Respect for self;
Respect for others , and Responsibility for your actions.

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19. When you realize you have made a mistake, take
immediate steps to correct it.

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will
hear it in your voice.

21. Spend some time alone.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and
touches your heart.
<><><>

Time for some jokes ~ ~ ~

Two blondes driving through the beautiful Welsh country-
side one day, when they came to a sign that read :


"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwymdrobwilllantsiliogogoch
"
(The longest town name in the world.)
One of the blondes tries to say the name and the other laughs
hysterically.

"That's not how you pronounce it," she says and proceeds to
say it herself. The first blonde nearly crashes the car laughing
and they start debating how to correctly pronounce the name.

Well the debate soon turns into a heated argument and coming
up to lunchtime they pull into a restaurant in the town whose
name is the subject of the argument.

As they are settling their bill, one of the blondes says to the
cashier, "Excuse me, but would you mind settling an argument
between my friend and me? Could you possibly pronounce
the name of where we are, only could you do it very slowly."

The cashier leans forward and says . . . . .
"BuuuuurrrrrgggggeeeeerrrrrKiiiiinnnnnggggg."
<><>

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo," she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river and down the
river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
<><>

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sit in his small chair at
the table, he looks in his small bowl. It is empty.
"Who's been eating my porridge ?" he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. He roars,
"Who's been eating my porridge ?"

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch
from the kitchen and yells, "For Goodness sake, how many
times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was
Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke
everyone in the house; it was Momma Bear who made the
coffee ; it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dish-washer
from last night and put everything away.

It was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning
air to fetch the newspaper; it was Momma Bear who set the
darn table; it was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned
the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and now
you have decided to drag your sorry Bear selves downstairs,
and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence,
listen good, I'm only going to say this one more time."

"I haven't made the frigging porridge yet !!!"
<><>

A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow and took his seat.
As he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding
the plane. He realised she was heading straight for his seat
and bingo. She took the seat right beside him.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, " Business
trip or vacation ?"
She smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to
the Annual Nymphomaniacs Convention in the United States."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had
ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting
for nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he
calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk
some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he smiled, "what myths are those ?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African
American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the
Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers,

when actually it is men of Greek descent. We have also found
that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this
with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto, " the man said, . . . Tonto Papadophoulos, but my
friends call me Paddy."
<><>

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they
had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a man from Albania and bragged
that he told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and
house cleaning that needed to be done. He said it took a
couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean
house and the dishes all done and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Korea. He
bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to
do all the cleaning, dishes and cooking. He told them that
the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it
was better and by the third day, his house was clean, the
dishes done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted
that he told her that her duties were to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawns mowed, laundry washed
and hot meals on the table every day.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day
he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the
swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his
left eye.

Got to love them Australian girls !!!
<><><>

Nowadays, it's not people who send poison pen letters that
you have to worry about. . . but those obnoxious people who
make disgusting comments via the internet.

Indeed, the e-mail of the species is deadlier than the mail.
<><>

A few quotes to finish with ~ ~ ~

It is not living, but living well, which we ought consider most
important. ~ ~ ~ Plato.

Happy the man, whose wish and care
A few paternal acres bound,
Content to breathe his native air,
In his own ground. ~ ~ ~ Alexander Pope.

Books do furnish a room. ~ ~ Anthony Powell.

Advice to those about to marry ~~ DON'T. ~~ Punch.

There was an old owl who lived in an oak
The more he heard, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard,
O, If men were all like that wise old bird. ~ ~ Punch.
<><><>

Bye for now my friends. Take great care of yourselves
and each other. Have a great week ahead.
Love and Best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 407 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 10th February, 2008.
<><><>



16 comments:

Jeanette said...

Hello Dear Merle, Good advice from Gwen,Now that longest word dont ask me to pronounce it LOl. Good Jokes.. I have left you award over at my place you can come pick it up if you like,, Love Jenxxx

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Lovely post, Merle.

Thank you for the reward I am belatedly accepting!

Blessings for an excellent week to come.

Patty said...

Dear Merle, Had a lovely visit with my Mother yesterday, our one daughter Becky and I took along Chinese food. Saved my Mother having to fix anything, she did make an apricot pie, I've never tasted anyone's apricot pie that's as good as my Moms. WE got home around 7pm. I've noticed it's starting to stay daylight a little longer now. I like it, I don't like for the days to start getting dark aboutn 5pm. We are having lots of wind today, it was pretty strong yesterday driving to my Mother's but today it's really bad. And the temp just keeps dropping, I guess this is that cold front moving in. Right now it is 12 above zero, and with the wind seems a lot colder. I feel so sorry for any people that are living on the streets. I don't know how they survive.

As always you had some funny jokes. I feel sorry for the blondes, but then I know they aren't all dumb blondes. Ha!Ha!

You have a great night, sleep well.
Love,
Patty

Joy Des Jardins said...

I hope you have a wonderful week Merle...and that nice weather stays around for a while. We could use it too....it's 2 degrees right now; but better than the -4 degrees below zero earlier this morning. Take care sweetie...

Puss-in-Boots said...

Good morning, Merle (well it is at the moment...morning, I mean).

I've been doing my usual running-late-catch-up-thing. Thank you so much for the Young at Heart Award, that's made my day and I'm sorry I'm a bit late in acknowledging it.

Life's been getting in the way of blogging lately...

Glad it's a little cooler for you. Actually sitting here typing this, I'm feeling a little chilled, but the doors and windows are wide open and it's still fairly early, so I suppose it's not all that surprising.

Have a lovely week and I'll catch up with you again soon. Hugs.

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Our HIGH today here was about 10 degrees... and I only wish that it was centigrade. ~ jb///

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Gwen's sharing is so true and important.
Thank you.

The roses are so lovely =)

Take care, my friend.

Kitty Cheng said...

Hey Merle, nice to 'meet' you. I saw your comment on Audrey's post, and came to your blog. I really enjoy reading this entry!

Kitty Cheng said...

By the way, I live in Melbourne, but I have never been to Shepparton.

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

How nice that your weather has been so pleasant. We are under an ice storm warning for later today. I am praying it won't happen.

Love the Mental Feng Shui! Great advice in all of those. And you outdid yourself with the jokes today. Love the blond jokes. LOL. That Australian girl is just like the American girls! Hahaha.

Dear Merle, as always, I enjoyed my visit here. Have a wonderful week, my friend.

Love and Blessings,

Renie

Lady Di Tn said...

Merle
Thanks for makin me smile on MONDAY. Our Feb temp are back to normal as it was 18 degrees when I got up this morning. It is those 70 degreee days in Feb that bring us such bad weather.
Peace

daffy said...

I loved your flowers!
Its been a little warmer here for the last two or three days! I won't get excited as its not really been balmy but one of my little crocus friends has popped hi head out from the lawn! :o)
Lovely entry Merle.

Gledwood said...

Hmmm... that advice is TOO WISE for me!

Don't sleep all you want! I try not to... then (like yesterday) "nature" takes its course... sleeping half the night/yet robowatching... then sleeping all morning. Half the afternoon. Half of the evening as well... then all the next night right into this morning! That is too much sleep!

In fighting no name calling... hmmm easier said than done... is it my imagination or is (verbal) fighting only done between man and woman? Never ever (except once when it seemed so camp it was hilarious) have I ever seen two grown men verbally arguing. Without either dampening it down or it dissolving into fisticuffs... I'm not sure that women ever really fight verbally for extended periods. It always seems to be female-male... and it's SO difficult not to let it degenerate into point scoring!

I hope all is fine with you I'm back after a computerless weekend...

;->...

mreddie said...

It was about the same temp here in South Texas - beautiful! Some very good advice in the article. ec

Jim said...

Hi Merle -- Your Australian girl joke was the best for my vote tonight.
I'm running late, Adi had surgery today and she has been keeping me busy.
..

Pearl said...

Always enjoy coming over to read your jokes. I know you make me smile.
Take good care of yourself.
Hugs,