Monday, March 03, 2008

Who Walks Into Your Life ?

Post 418 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 3rd March, 2008.

Hi Everyone ~~ I hope the world is treating you nicely as it is
me. A warmer day, but I don't think we will get any more very
hot weather. Soon I will be complaining about the cold.
Yesterday, I cooked a heap of Roast Lamb dinners with the
usual vegetables. I always add a piece of corn on each meal.

Today, I rang a man who cleans spouting/ gutters and he came
after lunch and did that job and also whipper snipped down the
side of the house that never gets seen, but I don't like long grass.
He also took some rubbish away on his trailer, so I was very
pleased to get those things done. Very reasonably too.

My friend Barbara sent me this short item. Thank you Barbara.

Who Walks Into Your Life ?

The first sentence is pretty powerful. !!!

God determines who walks into your life . . . . it's up to you to
decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you
refuse to let go. If you'll say this little prayer for me,
I'll do it for you.

God, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know
they may be needing this day. And may their lives be full of
your peace, prosperity and power as they seek to have a
closer relationship with you.

Pass this on to other people and within hours, you have
caused a multitude of people to pray for each other. Then
sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

Thank you for being in my life, my friends.

Barbara also sent me this clever little puzzle for Smart

See if you can figure out what these words have in common.

You will kick yourself when you discover the answer.
Unless you are brilliant, or have seen this before.
For the Answer. scroll down.
In all the words listed, if you take the first letter, place
it at the end of the word, and then spell backwards, and
it will be the same word.

Did you figure it out ?

My good friend Jeanette sent me this next one.
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website,
and the answers are actual responses by the website
officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Thanks Jan, some funny ones there.

Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen
it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.

Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A. Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks ? (Sweden)

A. Sure, it's only 3,000 miles. Take lots of water.

Q. Are there any ATM s in Australia? Can you send me a list
of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville & Hervey Bay? (UK)

A. What did your last slave die of ?

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing
in Australis ? (USA)

A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
Europe. . . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the
Pacific which does not . . . Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q. Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A. Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when
you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q. Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)

A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A. Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is . . . oh forget it. Sure the Vienna Boy' Choir play every
Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.

Q. Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)

A. You are a British politician, right ?

Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available
all year round ? (Germany)

A. No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/
gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q. Please send me a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum? (USA)

A. Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where you come

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but
I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A. It's called a Drop Bear. They are so-called because they drop
out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking beneath.

Q. I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)

A. Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q. Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population ? (Italy)

A. Yes, gay night clubs.

Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)

A. Only at Christmas.

Q. I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R and I want to contact the

girl I dated while I was staying at Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)

A. Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go ? (USA)

A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

One from R
obyn ~ Thanks Robyn.

If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before
getting the facts and thinking things through, you'll
love this one.

A large company, feeling it was time for a shake-up hired
a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the
company of all slackers.

On a tour of facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning up
against the wall and asked, "How much money do you
make a week ?

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied,
"I make $400 a week. Why ?"

The CEO then handed him $1,600 in cash and screamed,
"Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the
room and asked, " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-
ball did around here ?"

From across the room came a voice, "Pizza Delivery Guy
from Domino's."

On my first date with my boyfriend, I asked him if I could
hold his hand and he said, " I can manage, thank you. It's not
very heavy."

Adam in the Garden of Eden was getting rather tired of talking
to the plants and animals. "Couldn't I have another human to
talk to ?" he asked of God.

"Well I could create a woman."
"What's that ?" asked Adam.

"It's human, rather like a man, but she can pleasure you in many
ways. She can cook, clean, look after your every need and do
whatever you want her to do. She will never argur or nag.
With a woman you can have incredible sex whenever and
however you want. But in order to create such a woman I will
need to take two of your ribs, two toes and two fingers."

"Oh," said Adam. "That sounds rather a lot. What would I get
for just one rib ?"

The house was on fire. A woman appeared at the upstairs
window. She was clutching a baby and screaming, "My baby,
my baby. Save my baby."

"Throw the baby down to me," shouted a young man, I'll
catch him."
"You might drop him," shouted the woman.

"I'm a professional footballer," shouted the man. "I'm a
goal-keeper. I'm very good at catching. The baby will be
safe with me."

The woman threw down the baby to the young man who put all
his professional expertise into operation, and he expertly
caught the baby and then, unthinkingly, he kicked it over the
garden wall.

His son came to him and said, "Dad, I have some good news and
some bad news. You know you kindly lent me your car last
night? Well the good news is that the car's air bags work."

I knew it was going to be a plane flight with a difference when
a naked man rushed down the aisle shouting, "This is your
captain streaking . . . "

A few quotes to finish with ~ ~ ~

The superior doctor prevents sickness.
The mediocre doctor attends to impending sickness.
The inferior doctor treats actual sickness.
~ ~ ~ Chinese proverb.

Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance
to read the rest. ~ ~ ~ Henry David Thoreau.

If you can't stand the heat, you'd better get out of the
kitchen. ~ ~ ~ Harry S. Truman.

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job. It's a
depression when you lose yours. ~ ~ Harry S. Truman.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you. This is the main difference between
a dog and a man. ~ ~ ~ Mark Twain.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
~ ~ ~ Mark Twain.

Well, that is it for tonight. I hope the week ahead is a
great one for you. Be kind to one another and keep
smiling. Love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers, Merle.

Post 418 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 3rd March, 2008.


Dave said...

You always leave me with a smile Merle.... great post as always! *S*

Gledwood said...

Merle really! Your "fingers" remark reminds me of the 1st ever Pizza Hut to hit British TV in the early 80s. It showed a restaurant full of people gloriously stuffing their faces with pizza... eating with bare hands "that's because they're Americans," said the voice-over. "But here in Great Britain we provide a handy pair of accessories known as 'a knife and fork'!"

Long grass: is that because it harbours spiders, snakes and other nasties?

I hope all is well with you, Merle. I know it's been a bit of a while I've been ploughed under rather with unanswered messages so sorry I've not been by for a while.

Take care!

Gattina said...

You are approaching cold weather and I am purring like a cat because it's getting warmer, lol !
I got these funny answers for the Australian tourists this morning and laughed my head off !!

Old Lady Lincoln said...

Sounds like you're getting your yard in shape. We were out picking up pine cones this morning, the backyard is full of them, I didn't know this one old tree could have so many on it. Later this week want to get out and rake and pick up some small twigs and things, it was just too windy today. As usual, liked all of your postings.

Granny said...

You outdid yourself this time; especially the questions and answers about Australia.

It's not much different over here. People are sure all of CA is like Hollywood and they don't know anything about New York outside of New York City.

Love the footballer and the baby too.



JunieRose2005 said...

:) I enjoyed the jokes a lot....also- the questions and answers about Australia!


mreddie said...

I know you are glad to have your house cleaned up on the outside. The Australian tourist information was great. :) I also enjoyed teasing your virtual cat. :) ec

Jeanette said...

Hi Merle, Pleased you like the Aussie tourism. I have Carol here for a few days, she has paid me unexpected visit which is lovely,So wont be on much in next few days,but will try to come comment.maybe get a post up. im bowling in a comp indoor tonight and again tomorrow lawn.. We both had a good chuckle at your jokes. well im off to get a bite to eat before I leave.. love Jan

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

I love corn too.
I cook it almost everyday =)

Take care (((HUGS)))

Gledwood said...

Is there still actually a railway from Sydney to Perth? Does it go through Melbourne? I'd LOVE to ride that... also I've always wanted to go to Brisbane and Cairns (year-round warm weather and that fabby Gt Barrier Reef...)

linda may said...

You always make me smile.
Love Linda.

Lucy Stern said...

I love it all Merle....especially the part about who walks in and out of our lives.....also like the Q & A and the quotes.....

Lady Di Tn said...

LOL the questions and answers are priceless. The new CEO was a hoot also. I loved the pray at the beginning. May I copy it?
Thanks for sharing. Peace

deborah wilson said...

Ha ha -

Which leaves me wondering what kind of man a man would be if he were missing 2 ribs instead of one!


Jim said...

Hi Merle, again all good.

What kind of animal is unique in Australia?


Bad r grop r eunsa!

Of course I missed it.

The polar bear. Any polar bear is really unique in Australia.


Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

The roast lamb dinner sound delicious! I have some yard work to catch up with, as soon as the snow melts!

Who Walks into Your Life is a nice prayer. I will pass it on to friends, and thank you for passing it on to us.

I did not figure out the words you gave us. Very clever, indeed. Guess I'm just not brilliant. LOL. The questions and answers from tourists are funny! Now I have a question for you, dear Merle, Do the trees in Australia turn into beautiful colors in the Fall, like they do in North America? Just curious. LOL.

I enjoyed the visit with you, as always. Have a wonderful day!

Love and Blessings,


Mountain Mama said...

Yes I missed it too!

Isn't it great when you can get some help and it doesn't cost you an arm and a leg? I am so blessed to have lots of kids, grandkids and great grand kids to help me out. Even nephews. Today when I came home from grocery shopping my sisters two grandson's came over and asked if they could carry my groceries into the house for me. They can't imagine how much I appreciated their help.
Loved your jokes Merle and borrowed more to sent. Thanks much!

Puss-in-Boots said...

I missed it too, but what I did notice was that every word had at least the same letter twice in that word, and I thought that was the answer...should have known it wouldn't have been so obvious!

That prayer is so true...and people come into our lives for a reason, then leave when whatever we need to learn from them, or they need to learn from us, has been learnt.

I'm not fond of lamb...comes from all the mutton we ate on the farm...but if it was that would be a different story. Sweet corn? Yep, I could go for that...with (whispers) plenty of butter melting all over the cob...oooh, how sinful!

Hugs to you, Merle

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

May I have some of your warmth, Merle? It’s gotten colder here again, with a major winter storm forecast for Friday. Jeez, I’m tired of winter!