Monday, March 02, 2009

We All Need A TREE.

Post 579 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 2nd March, 2009.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ Sorry I have been missing in action for a few days, but hopefully I
should be back to stay, after a few days of not being well at all. Apparently I had a disc
in my spine become inflamed and I could barely walk for the pain in one leg. I was at the stage of dragging the crook leg. A visit to my Doctor this morning and he prescribed me a Non Steroid anti-inflamatory, so I hope that does the trick. I hope that you are all doing well and I hope this is the start of a good week for you all. I will get to answering all those who commented on my blog. Thank you all for stopping by, much appreciated.

Geoff and Joanne came up on Friday night and stayed and next day Geoff did a lot of garden work for me, for which I am most grateful. Jo cut lots of dead fronds off my tree ferns and also washed all the dishes while they were here. Thank you both so much.

Tonight's story is "We All Need A TREE." sent by my dear friend Nancy. Thank you.

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had finished a rough
first day on the job; a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his
ancient one-ton truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better
of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children.... So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"Funny thing is," he smiled, " when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

First joke tonight came from my UK friends, Sue and Bob. Thank you for this one.

Life in the Australian Army.
Text of a letter from a kid from South West Queensland.

Dear Mum and Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell my big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than working on the farm - tell them to get in b****y quick-smart before the jobs are all gone. I wuz a bit slow settling down at first, ause ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya unuform. No B****y cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack
- nuthing. You haz gotta shower though, but it's not so bad, coz there's lots of hot water
and even a light to see what ya doing.

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and egga but there's no kanroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez it's only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock.

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a b****y possum's
bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year (The Ekka is the Royal Show at Brisbane.Q'ld.)
All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of cake. You don't even load your own cartridges, they come in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.

Sometimes yo gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boon and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoons got, and I've only been beaten once by this one bloke
from the Engineers - he is 6ft 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders
and as ya know I'm only 5ft 7 ins and eight stone wringing wet, but I fought him till the otherblokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how b****y good it is.

Your loving daughter, Sheila. Thank you Patty also for this one.

Patty also sent the next one. Thank you my friend. "How Adam Got Eve."

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you have had a disagreement.
She will praise you.
She will bear your childen... and never ask you to get up in the middle of the bight to takcare of them.

She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history .........!!!!

Life's Questions.
We had our ten year old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is the joy of my husband's life, but he is self-conscious about being an older father. He likes to jokingly tell people that by the time she graduates from high school, he'll be in a nursing home.

One day she asked, "Mom, you know how Dad always says he'll be in a nursi
ng home
when I graduate?"

I nodded, expecting some sad question about mortaity.

She continued, "Can I have the car then?"

Wanda's dishwasher stopped working, so she called a repairman Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the rep
airman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish-washer, leave the bill on the counter and I will mail you a cheque."

"Oh, by the way, don't worry about my bulldog, Spike. He won't bother you. But whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot. I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT."

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
:Shut up, you stupid ugly bird."

To which the parrot replied, "Get him Spike."

Two doctors are in the hallway one day complaining about Nurse Molly.

"She's incredibly mixed up," says one doctor. "She does everything absolutely backwards.
Just last week I told her to give a patient 2mg of morphine every ten hours; she gave him 10mg every 2 hours. He damn near died on us."

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week I asked her to give a patient an enema every twenty-four hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour. The guy nearly exploded."

Suddenly they hear a bloodcurling scream from down the hall.

"Oh my god," says the first doctor, "I just realised I told Nurse Molly to prick Mr. Smith's boil."

Service Bill Harry, a TV repairman was called to fix a TV that had neither sound nor picture.
Left alone in the room, Harry spotted the cause immediately, the set was unplugged.

Harry faced a dilemma - one part of him said he shouldn't charge the woman, but the other insisted he be paid for his time.

Finally, he presented her with a minimum charge service bill which read, "Restored isolated
connecting cable to primary power source, $25."

There were three men that only knew a couple of Australian words. The 1st guy only knew 'me'. The 2nd guy only knew 'knife and fork'. The 3rd guy only knew 'goodie, goodie, gumdrops'.

One day they were walking down the street when they saw a crime scene, the head police officer came up to them and said, "This is a murder case, do you know who did it?"
The 1st guy said, "Me, me, me." The police officer asked, "What with?" The 2nd guy replied, "Knife and fork, knife and fork."

The officer said to them, "All right, you're all coming down town."

The 3rd guy replied, "Goodie, Goodie, Gumdrops."

That is it for tonight, my friends. We have another very dangerous fire day tomorrow
with very strong winds up to 120 kms per hour and possible thunderstorms as well.
I was speaking to my cousin, Michelle and she said she got an e mail from the Victoria Police warning about tomorrow, Tuesday. I believe everyone in Victoria got e mails so they are all pretty worried. Last Friday went OK with no more outbreaks, so I hope and pray we will be lucky again.

Take good care of yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all.
My daughter, Julie had her birthday today, so I rang and we had a nice talk,
Cheers, Merle.

Post 579 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 2nd March, 2009.


Gledwood said...

Hi Merle: I hope you get well soon. Backs, inflamations and discs are all nasty: ukk.
There's something about Australian trees that's very compelling and beautiful, especially against those infinitely blue Antipodean skies...
If I lived in Australia I would have to take up painting in acrylics. I'm sure I'd be inspired to capture some of it.
Do you like King Parrots? I featured them this weekend. I've seen them at Bimbimbie's blog (a Queenslander) and think they're beautiful)...
I've always felt I had a bit of Australia in my blood... which probably has somethng to do with a mere twist of fate intervening between my being born just outside London or in Adelaide. London won I'm afraid...
Take care and all the best to you!

Granny on the Web said...

As usual an enjoyable read Merle. Sad to hear of your bad back.
I am 'testing' a Tens machine for pain relief just now, and I have to say it certainly has made a difference to the pains in my leg that I have had for quite a few weeks now. I took all sorts of painkillers and nothing lasted, so Hubby suggested one of these Tens we see advertised in medical mag's, and though I was very sceptical at first, I was desperate for some relief, especially at night. I posted about it a few days ago, so I must write a post on it to report its success.
I heard in some places they are expensive to buy and can be borrowed from the medics, but here in the UK they are £20 ( about 45$ Au) so not exactly a bank breaker.
Hope you are soon better anyway.
Love Granny

Renie Burghardt said...

Dear Merle,

Oh, I am sorry you have had all that leg pain. I hope the medications help. And it's always nice to have a son and friend come and help around the house and yard .

I loved We all Need a Tree. What a great idea to hang one's troubles on the limbs at the end of the day. I think I will try that.

Loved the Australian Army letter. What a soldier she was! LOL. And how Adam Got Eve was pretty funny. And that guy sure made a mistake by talking to the parrot. Haha. And goodie goodie gumdrops was funny as well.

Dear Merle, I hope you have a wonderful week without pain. Take good care, my friend. See you again, soon.

Love and prayers,


Dave said...

I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this Merle!!!!

Loved the post today... all great ones! *S*

Jenni said...

I wish you to get well soon. "We all need a tree" is really good. I wish to try that .I too love gardening,its really an enjoying time when we do gardening along with our friends or relatives.

Margaret Cloud said...

I hope your medicine is helping your back. Back pain can really put you out of commission, my sister has had back trouble ever since she fell and broke both her wrists. The post tonight are good, I especially liked the one about the tree. I am glad Adam gave a rib, I would hate to have an arm and leg like a man. Hopefully the fires will not flare up again. It was nice of Geoff and Joanne to help out, I like it when someone helps me out also, take care friend and hope your week goes well.

Deborah Wilson said...

Dear Merle,

I hope that the medication helps your back and leg.

Sounds like Nurse Molly needs to retire! lol

Beth E. said...

I'm so sorry you've been under the weather. Hope you feel better soon!

I really liked the Tree story. :o)

Rosezilla said...

Oh, Merle, your posts are such a day brightener, and here you are feeling so poorly but cheering the rest of us up. I hope you feel better soon, and the fires die down. I loved the Australian Army joke, and down below, the Mother Teresa quote and all the famous insults.

Jack K. said...

Sorry to learn that you are under the weather (not feeling well). Hope the meds work real well and you are back to your usual good form soon.

Relay a Happy Birthday to Julie.

Loved the stories and jokes, but then, I always do. You have such good ones.

Patty said...

Dear Merle, Hope the medication has kicked in and the pain is at least bearable. Myself I have never been given anything that got rid of the pain completely when it comes to the back. It just takes a while to heal.

Love the two doctor's talking joke. Yes it might be a little painful. I was chuckling out loud, so I had to read it to Abe, then I almost had to explain it to him. LOL He wasn't paying attention when I read she did everything backwards.

Happy BELATED Birthday to your daughter.

Did the doctor say to apply heat to the lower back?

Time to start a bite for supper/dinner. Daughter will be home soon. Sleep well. Love, Patty

Gramma Ann said...

Dear Merle,

I am so sorry to hear you are having such severe pain. I hope the meds help to relieve some of the pain. I hope you are getting around and your leg is better.

I enjoyed the joke about the TV repairman. I do understand that they need to be paid for their time even when we make those kind of mistakes. I'm glad I have a much more understanding repairman...

I was just telling my husband a few minutes ago I need to go read Merle's blog and see if she mentions the fires. I am so glad they stayed under control Friday and I hope they will be able to contain them again Tuesday. Thank you for keeping us informed as to what is going on with the fires. I think about you often and hope you are far enough away that they won't affect you. And I hope they will be put out soon!

Have a nice Week!


Susie said...

Hi Merle,
Goodness, that leg pain sounds horrible. Hope the medication helps ease the pain quickly.
Love the "tree" story and I must say it sounds like a wonderful idea.
Feel better soon!

Peter said...

G'day Merle, sounds like you need to visit Vicki's chiropractor, I've been getting crunched a bit too.... well I'm there three times a week and have always had a bit of back trouble!!!!
Hope its better by now.

Jim said...

Hi Merle, you take care of that back! Don't be sitting up too much at your computer. We all don't need you to come visit us until you are completely better.
I am sorry you are hurting.

We have been having fires here too in Texas, so far not as big as yours but businesses and home have been destroyed. No lives have been lost that I know of. Our drought is the worst in the U.S. right now.

Jeanette said...

Hello Dear Merle..SOOOO Sorry to read of your back pain and going down your leg a big OUCHHHHh..They put me in hospital when I couldnt walk with the pain and said Operation.. I said a big no no.. soon as it aches now I grab my heat bag it helps...
Well Merle dont you sit to long in that chair and I wish you a very speedy recovery, (stay out of the garden):)Nice stort The Tree.. HAHAHA The Australian Army.

Get plenty of rest Merle love Janxxx

audrey` said...

Dearest Merle

Are you feeling better today?
Please take very good care of yourself (((HUGS)))

Lady Di Tn said...

Glad to hear you got to the doctor and hope this will take care of the problem. Sounds like you had a nice visit with your son and his wife. The tree story was precious and loved the joke Patty sent. Peace

Nancy said...

Hope your leg gets better soon. I understand how you feel.

Also, a Happy Birthday wish for your daughter!

Your jokes always give me a good chuckle...I loved the one about Nurse Molly!!! ha-ha You tickle me to no end!!!

Another fire? Is this stemming from the first ones yet? I fear fire so much, especially the fear that I wouldn't be able to save all my cats.

You take care of your back and leg now, and I hope you have a great week! So nice that you had some help with those outside chores.

((( HUGS )))

Big Dave T said...

If that pill works on your back, you'll have to let me know what it is. Our son has been suffering greatly at times with his own bad back--sounds very similar to your own situation. So far no pill has helped with the pain.

I liked the jokes. The one about the parrot reminded me of the one Bob Hope used to tell about this burglar who broke into this home, but while he was doing his business he kept hearing a voice say, "Jesus is watching you." He tracked down the voice; it was a parrot on a perch. "Who are you?" the burglar asked. "Moses", the parrot said. "Who would name a parrot Moses?" The burglar asked. "The same people who would name a pit bull Jesus," the parrot replied.

"Get him Jesus."

Pamela said...

I need a trouble tree. That was great.

I wasn't expecting "Sheila" Oh MY.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Oh Merle...I hope your back and leg are doing a lot better. That can be so uncomfortable. Those spinal discs can be so touchy. I hope the medicine is helping sweetie. It's miserable when you can't get around as you would like. I hope you are taking it as easy as possible so you will get better quickly and completely my friend.

Awfully nice to have Geoff and Joanne for a visit and to help out with your gardens.

Be good now, and I'll try to do the same sweetie..... Much love to you Merle. Many warm hugs, Joy

Christina said...

Hi Merle, I hope your back is better soon.

LOL @ Nurse Molly!

UKBob said...

Hi Merle, I hope you're feeling a bit better now, there is nothing worse than a nagging pain. Bob.