Monday, March 02, 2009
We All Need A TREE.
Post 579 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 2nd March, 2009.
Hello Everyone ~ ~ Sorry I have been missing in action for a few days, but hopefully I
should be back to stay, after a few days of not being well at all. Apparently I had a disc
in my spine become inflamed and I could barely walk for the pain in one leg. I was at the stage of dragging the crook leg. A visit to my Doctor this morning and he prescribed me a Non Steroid anti-inflamatory, so I hope that does the trick. I hope that you are all doing well and I hope this is the start of a good week for you all. I will get to answering all those who commented on my blog. Thank you all for stopping by, much appreciated.
Geoff and Joanne came up on Friday night and stayed and next day Geoff did a lot of garden work for me, for which I am most grateful. Jo cut lots of dead fronds off my tree ferns and also washed all the dishes while they were here. Thank you both so much.
Tonight's story is "We All Need A TREE." sent by my dear friend Nancy. Thank you.
I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had finished a rough
first day on the job; a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his
ancient one-ton truck refused to start.
While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.
On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better
of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing is for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and children.... So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"Funny thing is," he smiled, " when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
First joke tonight came from my UK friends, Sue and Bob. Thank you for this one.
Life in the Australian Army.
Text of a letter from a kid from South West Queensland.
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell my big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than working on the farm - tell them to get in b****y quick-smart before the jobs are all gone. I wuz a bit slow settling down at first, ause ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya unuform. No B****y cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack
- nuthing. You haz gotta shower though, but it's not so bad, coz there's lots of hot water
and even a light to see what ya doing.
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and egga but there's no kanroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez it's only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock.
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a b****y possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year (The Ekka is the Royal Show at Brisbane.Q'ld.)
All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of cake. You don't even load your own cartridges, they come in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.
Sometimes yo gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boon and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoons got, and I've only been beaten once by this one bloke
from the Engineers - he is 6ft 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders
and as ya know I'm only 5ft 7 ins and eight stone wringing wet, but I fought him till the otherblokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how b****y good it is.
Your loving daughter, Sheila. Thank you Patty also for this one.
Patty also sent the next one. Thank you my friend. "How Adam Got Eve."
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.
She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you have had a disagreement.
She will praise you.
She will bear your childen... and never ask you to get up in the middle of the bight to takcare of them.
She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
Of course the rest is history .........!!!!
We had our ten year old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is the joy of my husband's life, but he is self-conscious about being an older father. He likes to jokingly tell people that by the time she graduates from high school, he'll be in a nursing home.
One day she asked, "Mom, you know how Dad always says he'll be in a nursing home
when I graduate?"
I nodded, expecting some sad question about mortaity.
She continued, "Can I have the car then?"
Wanda's dishwasher stopped working, so she called a repairman Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish-washer, leave the bill on the counter and I will mail you a cheque."
"Oh, by the way, don't worry about my bulldog, Spike. He won't bother you. But whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot. I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT."
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
:Shut up, you stupid ugly bird."
To which the parrot replied, "Get him Spike."
Two doctors are in the hallway one day complaining about Nurse Molly.
"She's incredibly mixed up," says one doctor. "She does everything absolutely backwards.
Just last week I told her to give a patient 2mg of morphine every ten hours; she gave him 10mg every 2 hours. He damn near died on us."
The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week I asked her to give a patient an enema every twenty-four hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour. The guy nearly exploded."
Suddenly they hear a bloodcurling scream from down the hall.
"Oh my god," says the first doctor, "I just realised I told Nurse Molly to prick Mr. Smith's boil."
Service Bill Harry, a TV repairman was called to fix a TV that had neither sound nor picture.
Left alone in the room, Harry spotted the cause immediately, the set was unplugged.
Harry faced a dilemma - one part of him said he shouldn't charge the woman, but the other insisted he be paid for his time.
Finally, he presented her with a minimum charge service bill which read, "Restored isolated
connecting cable to primary power source, $25."
There were three men that only knew a couple of Australian words. The 1st guy only knew 'me'. The 2nd guy only knew 'knife and fork'. The 3rd guy only knew 'goodie, goodie, gumdrops'.
One day they were walking down the street when they saw a crime scene, the head police officer came up to them and said, "This is a murder case, do you know who did it?"
The 1st guy said, "Me, me, me." The police officer asked, "What with?" The 2nd guy replied, "Knife and fork, knife and fork."
The officer said to them, "All right, you're all coming down town."
The 3rd guy replied, "Goodie, Goodie, Gumdrops."
That is it for tonight, my friends. We have another very dangerous fire day tomorrow
with very strong winds up to 120 kms per hour and possible thunderstorms as well.
I was speaking to my cousin, Michelle and she said she got an e mail from the Victoria Police warning about tomorrow, Tuesday. I believe everyone in Victoria got e mails so they are all pretty worried. Last Friday went OK with no more outbreaks, so I hope and pray we will be lucky again.
Take good care of yourselves and each other. My love and best wishes to you all.
My daughter, Julie had her birthday today, so I rang and we had a nice talk,
Post 579 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 2nd March, 2009.