Wednesday, May 13, 2009

God Hath Not Promised.

Post 597 ~~ Wednesday, 13th May, 2009.

Hello my friends ~~ I came here a couple of hours ago, but Blogger was having some
maintenance or something ~ so see how I go from here. I got a few replies done in the
meantime. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives and there are no fires
or floods near you. I am quite well again and feeling much better lately. I have done
some cooking - - corned beef and a lot of vegies. White sauce with parsley and onions to top the meat.

Yesterday was shopping day and that went well except the shop didn't have some of
the things I wanted. So I will have to get them some other way. In a Taxi or ask John.
He bought and brought me McDonald's Hot Cakes on Mother's Day so that was great I love them once in a while.
He also got on my roof to turn off my evaporative cooler.
I won't be wanting that again for a good while.

Unfortunately Geoff didn't get here as he got half way and had to turn back to sort out
a problem with a burst hose on the washing machine. Luckily his son Scott turned the water off, but not before some flooded rooms. The laundry and kitchen have tiles, but
it did get to 2 rooms with carpet. He tried with steam cleaning the carpets and was to
look at heaters to dry them off. I do hope they are OK. They will be up here soon.

I found a short little article called "God Hath Not Promised." Thinking of you Vicki and Rex.

God Hath not Promised
Skies Always Blue
Flower strewn Pathways
All Our lives through

God Hath Not Promised
Sun Without Rain
Joy Without Sorrow.

But God Hath Promised Light By the Way
Strength For the Day
Best For the Labor
Grace for the Trials.
Unfailing Sympathy and Undying Love. Author Unknown.
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Now to find some jokes My Friend Linda sent me this item. I posted a similar one
a while back. It is called "Aln't it the Truth?" So not really a joke. Thanks Linda.

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (made in Japan)
for 6 am. While his coffee pot (Made in China) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (Made in Hong Kong). He put on a dress shirt (Made in Sri Lanka),
designer jeans (Made in Singapore) and tennis shoes (Made in Korea).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (Made in India), he sat
down with his calculator (Made in Mexico) to see how much he could spend
that day.

After setting his watch (Made in Taiwan) to the radio (Made in India) he got
in his car (Made in Germany) filled it with petrol from (Saudi Arabia) and he
continued his search for a good Australian job.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer
(Made in Malaysia). Joe decides to relax for a while. He put on his sandals
(Made in Brazil), poured himself a glass of wine (Made in France) and turned on
his TV (Made in Indonesia), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying
job in Australia.
<><>

Some different meanings of words :

Adult :

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Beauty Parlor : A place where women curl up and dye.

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Chickens: The only animal you can eat before it is born and after it's dead.

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Dust : Mud with the juice sqeezed out.

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Handkerchief : Cold Storage.

Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.

Raisin : A grape with a sunburn.

Secret : Something you tell one person at a time.

Skeleton : A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Toothache : The pain that drives you to extraction.

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Wrinkles: Something other people have. I have character lines.

Yawn : An honest opinion openly expressed.
<><>

One from my dear friend Linda L. Thanks Linda. It is called "The Gay Flight Attendant."

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put
everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that
"Caaptain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane
shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well dressed and rather Arabic looking
woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps, you didn't hear me over those big brute
engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us
on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."
<><>

George Phillips of the Gold Coast was going up to bed when his wife told him that she
had left the light on in the garden shed which she could see from her bedroom. George
opened up the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the
shed, stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, "Is there someone in yor house?" and he said "No"
Then they said that all patrol cars were busy, and that he should simply lock his door
and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up and he
counted to thirty and phoned the police again.

"hello, I just called you a few minutes ago because there were people stealing things
from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them
now because I just shot
them." and then hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Responce Unit and an Ambulance
showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said you'd shot them."

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available."
<><>

A little boy persuades his dad to let him have a TV in his bedroom. After a few days
he asks his dad what is love juice. His father is shocked but decides to explain all about sex and all things that can be involved in the the process of doing the act and the little
boy cannot believe what his dad is telling him.

Then his dad asked him, "By the way.what were you watching on your TV?"
The boy replied, "Wimbledon."
<><>

Well that is enough for this post. I hope something appealed to you? Take care,all
my dear friends. I appreciate you all very much. My love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers for now, Merle.

Post 597 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 13th May, 2009.
<><><>

16 comments:

Patty said...

Good morning Merle, it's still morning here, 11:45, almost time to think of what will I prepare for lunch. Once again, some nice things you posted and I'm definitely an ADULT from the description. Visit with son went great, short and busy. My Mother's procedure went smoothly and the doctor told her that her heart is good for another 86 years. Have to run, sleep well tonight. Love, Patty

Winifred said...

Hi Merle

I was wondering what had happened to you as I haven't seen any of your postings for a couple of weeks. I've noticed that Blogger often does that. This one has shown up and I see I've missed a few earlier ones including your fall. I'm glad you're feeling better take care.

Love that Wimbledon story.

Christina said...

Hello Merle, I'm glad you are feeling better and I hope you had a nice Mothers Day!

Christina

Margaret Cloud said...

Sorry to hear about Geoff's water problem, it is no fun trying to dry out carpet, good luck to him. That is true, seems everything here is foreign made. The chicken one was good, the gay flight attendant gave me my smile for the day. these were all very good. Take care friend and be safe.

Fred said...

Of course, the fact that you are feeling better is the best part of this post.

Corned beef. Mmmmm. The Missus isn't a big fan, so I usually have to have a good corned beef and rye sandwich when I'm close to a deli. And, I love plenty of mustard on it, too.

audrey` said...

Yeah! Our dearest Merle is feeling better again (((HUGS)))

Dave said...

I'm glad to hear you're feeling much better Merle... and no, you never bore me! ~S~

Have a wonderful day dear friend.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Merle. So you like Macca's hotcakes, too? So do I! I had some when Harry was here. That's the only time I have them, when one of the grandkids is staying with me.

Good to see you still posting jokes, Merle. I love the gay attendant. Here's another definition...rhubarb - blood shot celery.

Enjoy your weekend and I bought some corned silverside today, too...snap! Hugs.

Jack K. said...

Glad to know you are feeling better.

Hope the carpets get dried soon. It isn't fun and can be quite expensive when such mishaps occur.

The jokes are hilarious as usual. "Tray up bitch!" lol

I have seen the one about calling the police before. It is still funny.

As John Lennon once said, "All you need is love." Isn't that what God promised? Hmmm

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Merle:)

Greetings:)

I'm glad to hear you are OK.

Very enjoyable post with some information about the family and with plenty of jokes.

I felt very proud when you said the electric skillet was made in India. I thought Indian products are not used any where other than India.

Your post is very special and eminently enjoyable. Many, many thanks.

Have a lovely day Merle:)
Joseph

Pearl said...

Hello!!!
I have missed you so. My fault for sure. Hope you are doing well.
So good to hear you are feeling better. Wish I could have had a little taste of your corned beef. I bet it was delicious.

Thanks so much for sharing your
"God Hath Not Promised" verse with us. It really warmed my heart.

Take good care.
Hugs,

Jeanette said...

Dear Merle, Pleased to hear you are feeling a lot better and got over your fall.. Your corned beef veg and parsley sauce sounds so Yummy I think I better come help you eat it..
Hehe great post and jokes
Wrinkles are Laughter lines cause through much merriment..
take care my friend love Janxxx

Susie said...

Hi Merle,
So glad you're feeling better after that fall!
I remember that prayer from my Sunday School Days more than 50 yrs ago..
I enjoyed the jokes and especially the different meanings of words.
Take care dear friend,
xo

PEA said...

Dearest Merle,

How wonderful to hear that you are feeling so much better again...long may it continue that way:-) I've just come back from buying groceries and the store I always go to didn't have a few items I needed so like you, I didn't get to finish my shopping! lol

Are the McDonald's Hot Cakes what we call pancakes here? I love their egg & bacon bagel for breakfast once in a while:-)

Oh dear, I do hope Geoff was able to get everything cleaned up and dried after the issue with the washing machine! I remember when our hose broke, I had water everywhere but at least it was in the basement.

I so enjoyed the jokes, as well as the words with different meanings...they gave me quite a chuckle! hehe

Take care my friend and stay well. xoxo

Rosezilla said...

Hi, Merle. I so enjoyed your previous posts on Mother's Day, etc., they were all great! I had a splendid Mother's Day, with all 3 boys over. Well, men, but to me they are boys! I liked the definitions of words and George calling the police, too. Thanks.

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