Post 597 ~~ Wednesday, 13th May, 2009.
Hello my friends ~~ I came here a couple of hours ago, but Blogger was having some
maintenance or something ~ so see how I go from here. I got a few replies done in the
meantime. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your lives and there are no fires
or floods near you. I am quite well again and feeling much better lately. I have done
some cooking - - corned beef and a lot of vegies. White sauce with parsley and onions to top the meat.
Yesterday was shopping day and that went well except the shop didn't have some of
the things I wanted. So I will have to get them some other way. In a Taxi or ask John.
He bought and brought me McDonald's Hot Cakes on Mother's Day so that was great I love them once in a while.
He also got on my roof to turn off my evaporative cooler.
I won't be wanting that again for a good while.
Unfortunately Geoff didn't get here as he got half way and had to turn back to sort out
a problem with a burst hose on the washing machine. Luckily his son Scott turned the water off, but not before some flooded rooms. The laundry and kitchen have tiles, but
it did get to 2 rooms with carpet. He tried with steam cleaning the carpets and was to
look at heaters to dry them off. I do hope they are OK. They will be up here soon.
I found a short little article called "God Hath Not Promised." Thinking of you Vicki and Rex.
God Hath not Promised
Skies Always Blue
Flower strewn Pathways
All Our lives through
God Hath Not Promised
Sun Without Rain
Joy Without Sorrow.
But God Hath Promised Light By the Way
Strength For the Day
Best For the Labor
Grace for the Trials.
Unfailing Sympathy and Undying Love. Author Unknown.
Now to find some jokes My Friend Linda sent me this item. I posted a similar one
a while back. It is called "Aln't it the Truth?" So not really a joke. Thanks Linda.
Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (made in Japan)
for 6 am. While his coffee pot (Made in China) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (Made in Hong Kong). He put on a dress shirt (Made in Sri Lanka),
designer jeans (Made in Singapore) and tennis shoes (Made in Korea).
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (Made in India), he sat
down with his calculator (Made in Mexico) to see how much he could spend
After setting his watch (Made in Taiwan) to the radio (Made in India) he got
in his car (Made in Germany) filled it with petrol from (Saudi Arabia) and he
continued his search for a good Australian job.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer
(Made in Malaysia). Joe decides to relax for a while. He put on his sandals
(Made in Brazil), poured himself a glass of wine (Made in France) and turned on
his TV (Made in Indonesia), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying
job in Australia.
Some different meanings of words :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Beauty Parlor : A place where women curl up and dye.
Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
Chickens: The only animal you can eat before it is born and after it's dead.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Dust : Mud with the juice sqeezed out.
Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Handkerchief : Cold Storage.
Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.
Raisin : A grape with a sunburn.
Secret : Something you tell one person at a time.
Skeleton : A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
Toothache : The pain that drives you to extraction.
Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
Wrinkles: Something other people have. I have character lines.
Yawn : An honest opinion openly expressed.
One from my dear friend Linda L. Thanks Linda. It is called "The Gay Flight Attendant."
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put
everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that
"Caaptain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane
shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well dressed and rather Arabic looking
woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps, you didn't hear me over those big brute
engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us
on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."
George Phillips of the Gold Coast was going up to bed when his wife told him that she
had left the light on in the garden shed which she could see from her bedroom. George
opened up the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the
shed, stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is there someone in yor house?" and he said "No"
Then they said that all patrol cars were busy, and that he should simply lock his door
and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up and he
counted to thirty and phoned the police again.
"hello, I just called you a few minutes ago because there were people stealing things
from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot
them." and then hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Responce Unit and an Ambulance
showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said you'd shot them."
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available."
A little boy persuades his dad to let him have a TV in his bedroom. After a few days
he asks his dad what is love juice. His father is shocked but decides to explain all about sex and all things that can be involved in the the process of doing the act and the little
boy cannot believe what his dad is telling him.
Then his dad asked him, "By the way.what were you watching on your TV?"
The boy replied, "Wimbledon."
Well that is enough for this post. I hope something appealed to you? Take care,all
my dear friends. I appreciate you all very much. My love and best wishes to you all.
Cheers for now, Merle.
Post 597 ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, 13th May, 2009.