Post 607 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 15th June, 2009.
Hello my friends ~~ I hope all is well with you. I have been trying to get on blogger for quite a while, but finally here we are. I may not get too far as I am
already feeling tired. So I will get on with it.
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today . . . . .
The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included Aids.
The CD was introduced eight years before they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had e mail.
They have always had cell phones.
They have always had the Internet.
They have always had VCRs and video cameras.
They have always had cable.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight show.
Popcorn has always been Micro-waved.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They don't know who Mork was or where he came from.
They never heard: 'Where's the beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel.
or 'De Plane Boss, De Plane'.
McDonald's never came in styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Pass this on to other old fogies on your list.
Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.
P.S. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
TAILGATER. Thank you Gina for this one.
A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly the lights turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing
stopping at the cross-walk, even though he could have he could have beaten
the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in
frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,
dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her
car with her hands up.
He took her to the Police station where she was searched, fingerprinted,
photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman
approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car
while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him." I noticed the 'What would Jesus do' Bumper
sticker,' 'the Choose Life.'license plate holder, ' the 'Follow Me to Sunday
school' bumper sticker and the chromeplated Christian fish emblem on the
trunk. Naturally. . . I assumed you had stolen the car.
An elderly man in Florida had own a large farm for several years. He had a
large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables
horseshoe courts and some orange and lime trees. One evening he decided
to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women shinny-dipping
in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to
the deep end. One woman shouted to him, "we're not coming out until you leave'
The od man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked ,,,,'
Holding the bucket up, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Some old men can still think fast. Thanks for that one too Gina and the next.
Subject : PM Rudd.
On a recent trip to the U.S.A. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was invited to address
a major gathering of the American Indian Nations in Kitimat, BC due to his
experiences in handling the Australian indidenous situation in Australia.
He spoke for almost an hour on his ideas for increasing every First Nation's
present standard of living."
At the conclusion of his speech, the tribes presented the Prime Minister with
a plaque inscribed -- "Walking Eagle."
The proud Rudd then departed with his entourage, waving to the crowd as he
left. A news reporter later asks the chiefs how they came to select the the new
name given to Rudd.
They expllained that Walking Eagle; is the name given to a bird so full of
s**t, it can no longer fly.
My husband is so short sightest, he can't go to sleep unless he counts
Last one was sent by my friend, Barbara. Thank you, my friend.
Gotta Love Little Boys.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons
and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
The boy replied, "Eight."
The man continued, "Do you know what these are for?"
The boy replied, "No exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for him. He's
my brother and he is four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would
be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those.
Well, that is it for tonight my friends. I hope your week is going well for you
all and that your lives are going well. Don't worry,--Be happy. My love and
best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle,
Post 607 ~ ~ ~ Monday, 15th June, 2009.