Post 606 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 11th June, 2009.
Hello Everyone ~~ I hope your lives are going well. I am pretty sure they would be warmer than Victoria, Asutralia where I live. We have had a couple of mornings of -2C
about 28 F. We don't get much lower than that except on the mountains with snow.
It has been a strange week as where the bushfires burnt everything black, there has
been snowfalls in some of the areas. It is eerie seeing blackened trees, with just a bit
of green regenerating, with a blanket of snow around them, only 4 months since the
fires burnt everything in sight. At least the kids enjoyed the snow.
I finally got the picture of John to load, with his Coca cola, as he doesn't drink, and it
is probably lo -cal but it's a nice photo of him, on one of his Motorcyle trips.
Tonight's story was sent to me by my good friend Linda May. Thank you Linda.
It is called Irena Sendler.
There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena.
During WW11, Irena got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a plumbing/sewer
She had an 'ulterior motive'.. She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being
German) Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she
carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids.) She also had a dog in the
back that she trained to bark when Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The
soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.
During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2,500 kids/infants.
She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely.
Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a
glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard.
After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it and reunited
the family. Most, of course had been gassed. Those kids she helped were placed into
foster family homes or adopted.
Last year Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize.....She was not selected.
* Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming.
Let's send this one around the world. God Bless her. May she rest in Peace.
First joke was sent to me by my friends Sue and Bob from Britain. Thank you.
A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies
and neighbors. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns oysters and BBQ and
flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in
my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who is brave enough to jump in."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone
turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kind of stuff like head butts and chokeholds,
biting the croc on the tail and flipping him through the air like 20some kind of Judo
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were
screaming and raising hell. Finally, Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top
like a dead goldfish.
Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everyone was just staring at him in disbelief.
The host says, "Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"nah, you all right boss. I don't want it," said Colin.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about
half a million then? "No, thanks. I don't want it," answered Colin.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about
a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options? Again, Colin said, "No."
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well Colin, then what do you want?"
Colin said, "I want you to get the bas***d who pushed me in."
Thank you dear Nancy for this one.
After their 11th child, a hillbilly couple decided that was enough, as they could not
afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want
to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the
problem, but it was expensive. " A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go
home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in hillbilly country) light it, put it in a beer
can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 1o."
The hillbilly said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put the beer can up to his ear and began
to count. 1 2 3 4 5.
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting
on his other hand.
A few more from my cousin Bill. Thank you Bill.
Dealing with the Burdens of Life.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and sometimes the statue.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Always read stuff that will make you look good iif you die in the middle of it.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you lend a friend $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because you won't have a leg
to stand on.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live.
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Vincent Van Gogh -- After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van
Gogh had many relations. Among them were :
His dizzy aunt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gotta Gogh
The constipated uncle , . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .Can't gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store . . . .Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia . . . . . . . . . . .U Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white. . . .Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Chica Gogh
His magician uncle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother . . . . . .Grin Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt . . . . . . . . . . . . Tan Gogh
A sister who loved disco . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Go Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach . . .. Wellsfar Gogh
The bird lover uncle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Flamin Gogh .
His nephew psychoanlyst . . . . . . . . . . . . . . E Gogh
The fruit loving cousin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking . . . .. .Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Poe Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van . . . .Winnie Bay Gogh.
A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything
during your lifetime on earth of particular merit?" St Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.
"On a trip to the Black Hills of Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were
threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So I went up to the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head
kicked his bike over, ripped off his nose ring and threw it on the ground. "I yelled,
"Now Back off.""
St Peter was very impressed. "When did this happen?" he asked.
"Couple of minutes ago."
It was 1 o'clock in the morning and the manager of the hotel had just been woken by a
franctic phone call from a littlle old lady. "Come quickly, Oh please come quickly." she
wailed. "I can see a naked man from my window."
The manager hastily dressed and rushed up to the little old lady's room. He found her pointing at a block of flats opposite her hotel bedroom.- but all the manager could see
was the naked top half of a young man.
"But my dear woman," soothed the manager, the young man opposite is surely only preparing for bed. And how can you possibly be offended by him? The man may not be completely naked."
"The wardrobe." shrieked the little old lady, "Stand on the wardrobe."
Jack's wife stepped on the weighing machine which also produced a fortune reading on
the other side of the weight indicator card.
Out popped the card, and Jack's wife said, " It says I am attractive, have a pleasing
personality and can charm anyone I meet."
"Huh." muttered Jack , taking the card from his wife. Even the weight is wrong."
Well, the time has come to say Goodnight and get off to my nice warm bed. I hope you
are all well and happy. My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 606 ~ ~ ~ Thursday, 11th June, 2009.