Post 629 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 11th September, 2009.
Hello my friends ~~~ What a very sad day this is when we think back
to that tragic day that has become known as 9/11. It is certainly one
day none of us will ever forget. Nor should we. So many innocent lives
lost and so many families left grieving. My deepest sympathy to all of
those who lost loved ones and had their lives changed forever.
A very brief piece tonight - - -
If you can lend a needed hand,
Or someone' sorrow share,
If you can show, by word or deed
You sympathize and care,
Please do it now -- for if you wait
Another day could be too late.
A few jokes to brighten our lives - - -
Back Seat Accordian.
An accordian player is driving home late one night after playing a concert.
He is tired and hungry so he stops at an all night diner for a bite to eat.
Halfway through the meal he realizes that although he locked his car doors
his accordian is on the back seat in plain sight.
He rushes out to his vehicle but he is too late. The windows are already
smashed and someone had thrown in two more accordians.
Thank you Barbara for the next one. I hope you are keeping well.
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her,
"Father, may I ask a favour?"
"Of course child, What may I do for you?"
"Well I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my
Mother's birthday/ It is unopened and well over the Customs limits,
and I'm afraid they will confiscate it. Is there any way you could
carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, "Father do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you
have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman,
but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father, Next."
Next one from my friends in the UK. Sue and Bob. Thanks.
A letter from Scout Camp.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the
flood on Tv and were worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents
and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us drowned
because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it
Oh yes. Please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't
write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue
jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if
it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without
telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire,so he
probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put a gas cylinder on
a fire, it will blow up?
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of
our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed.
It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we
left. Scoutmaster Keith said with a bus that old you have to expect
something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it is a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's
hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the side. It gets pretty hot with 45
people in a bus meant for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer
until the Police patrol man stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver.
In fact he is teaching Jesse how to drive on the mountain roads
where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming
out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't
swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's
concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the
canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the
water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't
even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time
working on the bus, so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our First Aid merit badges. When
Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a
Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it was probably
just food poisoning from the left over chicken. He said they got sick
that way with food they ate in prison. I am so glad he got out and
became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get
things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy
some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are
fine and tonight is my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
One from my good friend Gina. It is called "Stud Rooster."
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster
for his chicken coup. The new rooster struts over to the old
rooster and says, "OK old boy, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL
of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let
me have the two old hens over in the corner?
The young rooster says, "Beat it.You are washed up and I am
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you
around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain
over the entire chicken coup."
The young rooster laughed, "You don't stand a chance old man.
So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young
rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of
the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is
only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The
farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch.
When he sees the roosters running by, the old rooster is sqawking
and running as hard as he can. The farmer grabs his shotgun and
BOOM. He blows the young rooster to bits. He sadly shakes his head
and says, "Dang-Flabbit.... Third gay rooster I bought this month.."
Moral of this story?
Don't mess with the OLDER GENERATION.
Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery
Always overcome youth and arrogance.
Last one tonight from my dear friend, Margaret in Queensland.
Thank you Margaret. It is called "The Pastor's Businee Card."
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one
house it seemed obvvious that someone was home, but no
answer to his repeated knocks at the door.
Therefore, he took out his business card and wrote, 'Revelation 3:20'
on the back of it.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that
his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message,
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke into gales
of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at your door
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was
afraid for I was naked."
Remember when the funniest jokes wer the clean ones. They still
are. "A cheerful heart is good medicine." (Prov. 17:22)
Do what you feel in your heart to be right--- for you'll be criticised
anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't.
~ ~ ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless
there are three other people. ~ ~ ~ Orson Welles.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
~ ~ ~ Mark Twain.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never
know what you're gonna get. ~ ~ ~ Forrest Gump.
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one,
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one. ~ ~ ~ John Lennon.
Well on that happy note I will close for tonight, my friends.
Take good care of yourselves and each other. Enjoy your lives.
My love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.
Post 629 ~ ~ ~ Friday, 11th September, 2009.