An Unstoppable Virus.

Post 628 ~ ~ ~ Sunday 6th September, 2009.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope all is well at your house, wherever that
may be and things are going well for you. All OK here at present.
My son John has safely returned from a Far Ride to Tasmania. He
took his Motorcycle on the Princess of Tasmania Ferry. He had a
cabin to sleep through the crossing, but busy riding all round Tassie.
I am always relieved when he gets home.

I hope all the Aussie fathers had a great day today, Father's Day
and got Breakfast in bed perhaps and some gifts. When both your
parents have gone, these days are bittersweet.

My friend Warren sent me the first joke tonight. Thanks Warren
and for the others. This one is called "The Unstoppable Virus."

Now this doesn't apply to me, at least not yet, 'cos I don;t think this
applies to me at least not yet, or have I mentioned this before, at least
I don't think so !!!!!!!

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT...YOUR COMPUTER DAYS MAY BE
NUMBERED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought you would want to know about this e mail virus. Even the
most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of
this one. It appears to affect those who were born before 1960.
Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. done that!

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. That too!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to wrong person. Yep!

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Aha.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Well darn !

6. Causes you to hit SEND before you're finished. Oh no, not again.

7. Causes you to hit DELETE when you should have hit SEND. I hate that.

8. Causes you to hit SEND when you should DELETE. Oh No.

IT IS CALLED THE C-NILE VIRUS.

Hmmm... Have I already sent this to you?

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A few bits and pieces that my friend Embee sent me. Thanks Mike.

To know what we know - and to know what we do not know, that is true
knowledge.

The most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency. ~ ~ Somerset Maugham.

Old age is nothing but a bad habit which a busy person has no time
for.

You don't have to take a person's advice to make them feel good.
Just ask for it. ~ ~ Lawrence Peters.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

IN PRAISE OF DRINK
There are many good reasons for drinking and one has just come
into my head, if a man can't drink whilst he is living, how the heck
can he drink when he's dead.

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
~ ~ ~ McEscher.

An optimist leaves the dishes because he will feel more like washing
them the next day.

Statistics are like alienists - they will testify for either side..
~ ~ ~ Fiorello la Guardia.

Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes
off your goal. ~ ~ ~ Henry Ford.

No man thinks there is much ado about nothing when the ado
is about him. ~ ~ ~ Anthony Trollope.

There are two kinds of statistic, the kind you look up and the
kind you make up. ~ ~ Rex Todhunter Stout.

I was trying to daydream - but my mind kept wandering.

The big print giveth - and the small print taketh away.
~ ~ ~ J. Fulton Sheen.

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you, if
you could know how seldom they do. ~ ~ ~ O. Miller.

Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get
away with anything. ~ ~ ~ Evelyn Waugh.

When one is at the bottom of a hole - the best thing that you can
do is to stop digging.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what other people say you
cannot do.

Love a lot, trust a few, but always paddle your own canoe.

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the
heck happened.

You cannot think rationally on an empty stomach, and a whole
lot of people cannot do it on a full one.
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One from my friend, Patty called "Grandpa." Thanks Petty.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS
office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed
up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well sir, you have an
extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment. Which you say
that you win money from gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that
believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it." says Grandpa. "How about
a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "OK, go ahead."
Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye." The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "It's a bet."
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it, The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite
my other eye." Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he
takes the bet. Grandpa takes out his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
thousand dollars, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness He starts to
get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side or your desk, and pee
into that waste-basket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old man could possibly manage that
stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands on one side of the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the
waste-basket on the other side. so he pretty much urinates all over
the auditor;s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you OK?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told
me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five
thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your
desk and that you'd be happy about it."

Don't Mess With Old People!!!
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A few money jokes - - -

He tried hard to budget - but at the end of the money he always has some
month left.

Every time I think I can make ends meet, they move the ends.

If money talks, then why does so much of it seem to say Goodbye.

Money can't buy love, but it can hire a good imitation.
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To conclude this post, a nice quote from Mother Teresa.

It is very important that children learn from their fathers and
mothers how to love one another--- not in the school, not
from the teacher, but from you.
It is very important that you share with your children the joy
of that smile.
There will be misunderstandings; every family has its cross,
its suffering. Always be the first to forgive with a smile.
Be cheerful. Be happy.
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Well, time to close and get off to bed. Have a great week my
friends and look after yourselves and each other. My love and
best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 628 ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 6th September, 2009.
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