Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Dust If You Must.!!

Post 630 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 15th September, 2009.

Hello Everyone ~ ~ I hope all is well with you and the week and the
weather are treating you nice. All good here, nice day, shopping day
so all stocked up again, which is good as I am having a few visitors
over the next few days. My son Geoff and his wife Jo are coming for
a night and then off to get some firewood.

Then I have a dear friend who was a bridesmaid at Kathy's wedding
and her youngest daughter and a new friend are coming for the night
on Saturday, so it will be lovely to see them. Kim lost her husband
last December and her mother recently, so it is nice to see her smiling
again. (Saw her photo on Facebook !!)

My other son, John is off in the morning on his motorbike all the way
to Brisbane, with a mate from Echuca to attend another mate's
funeral. He will see his daughters and spend a couple of night's at my
brother Peter's home in Gympie. He should be home on Monday.

The first item tonight was sent by my dear friend, Patty. It is called
"Dust if you Must" and both Patty and I think it's a good idea. Thanks.

Remember ...a layer of dust protects the wood beneath it.

A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture.

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure everything was
just perfect - 'in case someone came over.'

Finally I realized one day, that no-one came over; they were all out living life
and having fun.

NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition' of my home...

They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I
was away and having fun.

If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice.

Life is short. Enjoy it.

Dust if you must ........
but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies
or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder the difference
between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time. . . . .
with beer to drink, rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to
hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your
the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain.

This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind . . .

And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make
more dust !!

It's not tyou gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind
of life you have lived.


My dear friend, Margaret from Q'ld sent me the next on. Thank you..

Emergency Call.

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidently shoots his wife.
He immediately dials 000.

Irishman : "It's my wife. I've accidently shot her. I've killed her."

Operator: "Please calm down Sir. Can you make sure she is
actually dead?"

"click" "BANG."

Irishman: "Okay, done that. What next?"

The next couple are from my friend, Warren, Thanks, mate.

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees
a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his
cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent

As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you walking
around like this?"

The cowboy says, "Well it's like this, Sheriff . . . I was in this bar
down the road and this pretty red-head asks me to go out to her
homestead with her. . . . So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my
shirt . . . . So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants . . .
. . .So I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts . . .
. . . . So I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says,
"Now go to town cowboy.."
And here I am.'

Son of a gun. Blonde Men do exist !!

Two Little Old Ladies.

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local
town hall where a flower show was in progress.

The thin one leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never
have any fun anymore. For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak
through that stupid flower show."

"You're on." said the other old lady, holding up a $10 bill.

The first old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and then
completely naked streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the
front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the
hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling
and naked old lady came through the exit door, surrounded by a
cheering crowd.

"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.

"I won the Best Dried Arrangement."

A few from my good friend, Sherrill called"Idiots strike everywhere."
Thank you Sherrill.

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison centre. Today, this woman called in very upset, because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there was no need to bring her little
daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down
and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order
to kill the ants. . .I told her that she better bring her daughter into
the emergency room right away.

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Rescue
Helicopter coming towards them . . . It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when
the raft was inflated. . . They are no longer employed at Boeing.

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move." When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.

My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger. She
asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg."
There are some more idiots for next time.

Well, it is time to say Goodnight until next time my friends.
Enjoy your lives and have a great 'rest of the week.'
Love and best wishes to you all. Cheers, Merle.

Post 630 ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 15th September, 2009.


Patty said...

Dear Merle, you are quite a corker. Loved the Best Dried Arrangement joke the most. Got our blood work done this morning, ate breakfast out, and got my hair cut (really, really) short, I think he forgot what he was doing. But this time I won't be going back for six weeks. This evening after dinner/supper and dishes are done, I want to mow the backyard. Daughter will be in class and not getting home till late, and I need the exercise. Tomorrow I will mow the front and do up some laundry.

Have a lovely time with all the guest you will be having for the next few evenings. Hope your sons trip on his bike runs smoothly. Love, Patty

Alice said...

Have a lovely week with your family and friends, Merle. Thanks so much for all the words of wisdom...especially the dusting one, although I don't dust anyway...lol....and your jokes always bring a smile and a chuckle.

Margaret Cloud said...

Looks like you are all set for visitors, hope you have lots of fun, I know how you enjoy company. Praying that John has a safe journey. I just love the cartoons of the women doing house work, especially the mop lady. My worst chore is dusting and keeping it done. I had to laugh at the naked old lady, she probably was pretty wrinkled up. Very good post, have a great week. Take care and be safe my friend.

Dave said...

Hoping you have a wonderful week and weekend dear friend.. having company come is a wonderful thing (as long as they do go home eventually!) *LOL*

Great post as always... *S*

Jack K. said...

Loved the advice about dusting. However, the division of labor in our home puts me on the business end of a dust rag. I don't think Maryann would let me get away with no dusting. We have reduced the number of times we do a complete housecleaning.

We also do plan plenty of fun activities and trips.

"Best dried arrangement" hilarious

"Blond men" unbelievable. snerx

"Don't move!" another pair of dumb criminals. lol

PEA said...

Hello dear Merle:-)

It sounds like you will have some lovely days with visitors! I so wish I could make it to Australia one day to visit you as well:-)

We had a very late summer here but now it's starting to be a lot cooler again, last night it went down to 3c so we had to pick the tomatoes off the vines and bring them in, otherwise they would have froze. I don't mind it being cooler as long as the sun is shining, which it is:-)

Loved the Dust if you Must...I was going to dust today but after reading that maybe I'll wait another couple of days! LOL The jokes were great as well, made me laugh out loud!!

Take care my friend and thank you for your prayers and hugs regarding what's going on with my DIL. You are a dear friend!! xoxo

Rosezilla said...

You had some funny ones, Merle. About the dusting, I've heard it said that we are human beings not human doings. I like that when things get too hectic and I need to slow down and smell the roses. But I also like the quote, "My home can be as pleasant as I care to make it," (Laura Ingalls Wilder). It's all about finding the balance, I guess. After all, someone has to TEND the roses! It is sobering to think that someday we will BE dust!

Lady Di Tn said...

LOL I thought I might fall out of my chair today while reading. Thanks for making us laugh.
Have fun with your company. Peace

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I liked the Dust and the one about the Blond Cowboy, funny.

My hubby is getting paid once every two weeks instead of one a week like he use to, and now I am having to "stock up" too.

I got it all done today, and told my daughter how glad I was having her help to get it all in the car, and then in the house.

She told me, "Yeah but when I finally leave home you won't have so much food to buy."

She's right. She's thin but she is an eater.


Christina said...

hi Merle, sorry I haven't been around much lately. Great post and loved all the jokes. I'm glad you are doing well.


Jim said...

Hi Merle, this one was loaded!
It is nice that your friends and relatives keep visiting you. I know they like your company. Do you tell them 'funnies' like you do us?
I envy John. I guess when I was his age I was riding places as well. Now my Mustang convertible is my four-wheeled-old-man's motorcycle. I can't convince it to ride between the cars although I think it really wants to do that once in a while. It is a very impatient car.
The 'dust if you must' works here. Mrs. Jim dusts if someone is coming and I vacuum when we are having company as well.
It was too bad your (and Warren's) blonde joke guy had to be a Texan. Most Texans are very clever except for the Aggies.

Gledwood said...

If a house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture...
then my house is a stately home among the dust-gatherings of the nation!

Have a cheery weekend Merle!


Gina E. said...

LOL Merle, there were some new ones (for me) in that lot that had me giggling!! Thank you for your comments on my blog re Ken. He's back at work (driver for Melbourne Pathology) and despite the grumbles about the traffic, he's happy just to still have a job at his age and state of health.

audrey` said...

Who likes to dust? HeHe! ^grin^ Take care, Merle =)

Art Is Life, Life Is Art said...

Hahahahaaa!!! I love the Sunday paper joke, as well as the ones about the dust. :o) I hope you have a good night and a wonderful day tomorrow, as well!! :o)